Under an onyx sky the wind is a prankster swirling around the house restless and full of errant energy. It jostles the wind chimes that hang from the eves of the garage. Undulating clanging that is sometimes loud kicking up a big fuss and then muted and remote as they falls quiet. My mind whispers back, “I hope I never forget to appreciate the mystery of the world.”
Noticing the beauty in the everyday is a surprise gift I have rediscovered on my weight loss journey. The more I look for beauty in the world, the more I find it. Finding beauty helps in so many ways because it fills me up and gives me strength to keep going. The more I find it in the world the more I find it within myself. There is no other person like me, or you. That has value and worth and that is something important to remember.
It has been a while since I stood snapping pictures, thinking about how lovely the world can be even if I am just standing in the Stop & Shop parking lot. There is no reason not to appreciate this, and the truth is beauty makes the journey so much better.
I am happy to say I went to spin this morning and I felt great. I love owning a part of my day before the demands of the workday begin. It’s not that I don’t love my job, I love teaching, but it’s amazing to have that small bit of time that is for me, and me alone.
I’m still thinking about willpower. I read that every time you have a stepwise plan for how to handle a challenge you are building your willpower muscle. So when the alarm goes off at 4:30 am I know I have to…
Turn off the alarm.
Swing my feet out from under the covers.
Get up, and go into the bathroom
If I follow those three steps I am on my way to spin class. That strengthens my willpower muscle. Another example, when I come home from work I…
Empty my lunchbox.
Put a new water bottle inside.
Get out the scale and containers.
If I do that, I’m on my way to pre-packing, pre-tracking my breakfast and lunch for the next day. This is just how it goes. It’s not so hard and it does get easier. So think about your willpower muscle. Think about your “why” these are two important parts to a successful journey. You can do this, and I can too.
My featured image is from September 2017. Back at the start of my earnest pursuit to get to goal. I think it’s so beautiful and that makes me happy. Right now thunder just sounded as if a giant egg is being cracked across the sky. The rain is pouring from the sky and I am safe in my room reflecting about my day.
I went to the food store after a late day at work and saw a WW member there. She looked great, and it always lifts my spirit when I see my “people” outside of our meeting, which we now refer to as our workshop. The changes to WW are new and new is a bit scary. There are parts of it that I like such as the addition of MIndspace. I like the idea of having a tool that can help me to refocus.
I had a special teaching moment today. I watched a little boy put together a sentence and read it. This may seem like a small thing but it’s not. What seems to be effortless for one person is a mighty struggle for someone else. I guess my last words for today are, keep it all in perspective. You can do this.
When I am sad or under stress, I look for comfort foods. When I’m having a great time, I want to “eat, drink, and be merry”. When I’m bored I migrate to the kitchen and go on the hunt. Emotional eating sucks.
Breaking the habit of emotional eating began with an awareness that it existed. I know that sounds so obvious but the weird thing is, it wasn’t. Facing up to this reality, that I am an emotional eater, remained elusive for a long time. I don’t know why it just was, I think writing every day on this journey has helped me to understand this about myself.
Now that I really see it for what it is, it can’t be unseen. I am grateful for this awakening but it’s still hard. I still feel the pull to turn to food when I’m not hungry. Looking back is as important as looking forward, and I am starting to understand my journey better.
It took a long time for me to distinguish the difference between external and internal hunger (Day 56 was the first time I wrote about it ). I have also paid a lot of attention to developing good habits. I started to write about ( Day 15 was the first day I wrote about that). The other part of this journey was to look for beauty around me so that I could see it in myself (Day 11 was the first mention of beauty).
“What if, I spent my time looking for beauty instead of overlooking it? What would I find? I want to adopt a generous lens, one that looks for strengths, not deficits.”