Day Three…

It is a perfect summer day, and I started it off looking at coy ponds, and waiting for a pool guy to show up. It was very peaceful, and because it was early the weather was still cool. So sipping on my coffee, chatting with my hubby – it was a nice start to the day.

Later, I prepared a very healthy breakfast which was plan friendly. Never underestimate keeping some variety with fruits. It’s easy to get in a berry rut, because I do enjoy them but a grapefruit can be nice too.

In my effort to eat strategically and see how I feel, I found that this breakfast satisfied my hunger for hours! I said goodbye to the butter, and hello to the avocado and it really made a difference in my overall feeling of satisfaction. I didn’t feel any urges to snack.

I went to the beach, and got some sun and enjoyed the beautiful weather, peace and some time to kick back and read…

As if to round out this summer day, I went to the movies with my kids. Movies are always tricky because I want to nosh on snacks too. So don’t tell, but I brought in my own popcorn (4 sp.) nuts (I only wanted to eat half the package but I ate the whole thing (8 sp.) and one package of lemon Smart Cakes ( 1 sp.) I think lemon is my favorite. If I had it do over, I would have left the other half of the package in the car that way I’d have an additional 4 sp.

I do love this stuff, if you do too – go it’s good summertime fun.

Now that i used a whopping 12 sp. in snacks, I don’t have any left for dinner. Ever been there? Here is what I am going to do. I’m eating baked chicken (0 sp.), peas & onions (0 sp.), and 1 cup of mashed potatoes. (5 sp.) Since my dinner is 5 sp. I’m going to be dipping into my Weeklies. I did roll over 4 sp. yesterday – so it’s doable.

I hope you’re enjoying summer, and making healthy choices for yourself. Take some time to just enjoy.

Day Two…

I had a great breakfast this morning! It was 1 cup of nonfat greek yogurt, 1 cup of berries and 16 grams of mixed nuts sprinkled on top. I was creamy, sweet, and had a nice crunch. Now I feel very satisfied and am curious to see how long that feeling lasts into the afternoon. I was pretty hungry so didn’t stop to take a picture. Next time.

Summertime sunset over the pit July 2019

I’m thinking a lot about how to be more strategic when planning out my meals. My thinking with breakfast was that the mixed nuts would add some fat and additional protein, while the yogurt offered both protein and calcium, while the berries would help with absorption, fiber, Vitamin C, and folic acid (that develops new cells). I’m not a dietician but I like to read about nutrition and learning new things helps me to stay engaged. The point is to be aware and to try to plan meals that give me a greater bang for my buck.

Still have not delved into my creative outlet and that changes this week!

In case you were wondering I did weigh in and I did gain over the past two weeks. I’ve decided to just be happy where I am right now. I am feeling good about myself and I’m going with that. I am very motivated to get back to goal and Lifetime status, and my journey looks shiny and new to me right now. I started to write that I can’t do anything about my past choices, but that isn’t entirely true. I can think back on what I did and why I did it in an effort to learn. How? I plan on doing some journaling to explore this more deeply than this platform would allow. I’ll share what I discover.

I think my big challenge this week is to keep these positive feelings going. Maybe the way to do that is to engage with any negativity that comes my way. What I mean is this, when I eventually feel the pull of my old habits I want to consider what happened right before, to name what I’m really feeling, and to make a plan for what I will do to get out of the funk. It’s easy to write this plan, it’s harder to act on it in those darker moments. I’ll try, and it would help me to know that you’re out there trying too. We can do this together.

Day One…

I wonder how many Day One’s I’ll have on this journey. I’m sorry that I’ve been absent from my blog for the past eight days. I went away for half that time to Vermont. I had so much fun, I was surrounded with my family and for the most part everything went smoothly.

I have strayed from the WW path over the past few days, and now it’s the day before my workshop and I’m feeling the pressure. I don’t really want to weigh in but I’m going to because I know I need to face it. No matter how long I’ve been on this journey I think it ( I ) will always be a work in progress. That is ok, I’ve made my peace with that. I would be a liar if I didn’t say that I’ve disappointed myself over the past few days in particular. I don’t even know why I’ve checked out. As I look back over the past few months I see lots of struggle. Strong starts and stops and I’ve had enough of that.

It is time for a new beginning (I know, some of you may be like… again?) but yes, again. It’s the starting over that matters, it’s the pick myself up and dust myself off that matters. I’m very imperfect and this is my thing I have to work on forever. Thank you, for coming along with me on my journey I do appreciate it – you help me. I hope I help you to keep going too. I think backup is a good thing especially when it’s so challenging to keep going. So say yes, to new beginnings with me. Ok?

Day Thirty…

Summer offers three important things:

  1. Time spent outdoors: fresh air and sunshine.
  2. Lots of down time to reflect because I am on vacation.
  3. Family time, everyone’s schedules are more flexible.

This summer is different though, I’m getting physical therapy so I’m working on healing. I went this morning, and it is rough – there is a lot of pain, and I am a little disappointed at how long it’s taking to be whole again. There I go, putting some kind of clock on something that knows no schedule – it takes time, and only with time and effort will things get better for me.

I’m noticing a pattern, not just with my weight loss journey, but my whole life. I tend to put off the negative, and redirect my mental gaze to something else. I think that in some ways, this is a good strategy because it’s not healthy to dwell on the bad stuff. I really believe that is true, but I want to revise my thinking on that a bit because a little contemplation on the bad is also a healthy thing. Maybe I do have to dwell in the negative for a little while so I can wrap my hands around what is stressing me out. Like everything I keep looking for balance.

What stressed me out yesterday that preceded my binge? I had a hard time getting around at Sagamore Hill, I was in pain and I couldn’t do what I had been able to do before the accident. That was really disappointing. Then, I came home to a tree into my house, that brings with it a bunch of headaches that I’m not looking forward to dealing with. Later, I had an argument with and that just added to my overall mood. When I put that all together, I get a clearer image as to why I decided to turn off my healthy habits. Now of course, I wish I had done something else, but this is growth for me. I don’t typically sit down and examine my behavior. There is some power in this – give it a try I think it helps. Another helpful thing I did – I tracked everything I ate so I know how far in the hole I am as far as my Weeklies go and now I can work on recovery.

No matter how powerful; or successful; or brilliant; if there is an issue around weight gain there is deeper work that probably needs to be done. Teddy Roosevelt liked this portrait the best because the artist, Fedor Encke, shaved off thirty pounds. In the portrait depicts him as able to close his Rough Rider uniform, talk about filters! I think no matter who we are, a famous president, or a just a teacher from Long Island NY, we all tend to want to see ourselves as better than we are. The thing is, I am beginning to think, the real power play is for me to lean in and do the work so I own who I am so I can continue to grow and be more than who I am right now.

Day Twenty-One…

It’s funny how the days worked out, but Day 21 is also the day that we celebrated our daughter’s 21st Birthday. Their official birthday is really June 24th but we are close enough. The party went over as a complete success. They had a great time, our families and neighbors all came to help us celebrate. It was a good day.

Lately, I’ve been watching the TV show, This is Us, on Hulu. I think the appeal for this show is that at its heart, it is all about longing and belonging and a search for clarity. Every character is able to be fully articulate in the important moments. I wish I could do that, maybe that’s why I enjoy writing, I can reread my words in the attempt to capture my important moments. In the show, they use flashbacks to revisit the characters’ past in perfect detail. I wish I could do that too. I wish I could remember my daughters’ first birthday, with that kind of clarity, when my, and my husband’s parents were there. My dad was so sick, and I was just so grateful to have him there. We were on borrowed time, and he didn’t stay long but he was there.

Family events are emotional – whether it’s happiness or sadness it’s all still emotion. It’s so easy to overdo it with the food at these kinds of events. I used 30 SmartPoints for the day, and I feel good about that. I’m working my program, and no matter what my results on the scale are, I will know I did my best. Keep believing and eventually success will catch up.

Day Five…

Rolling over another 4 points from yesterday is a great reinforcement that I’m on the right track with my food choices. I’m not hungry and I don’t feel deprived. I know that I will eat dessert again, but for right now the feeling of satisfaction and control I have don’t make me miss it a bit. It is really astounding to me how different I feel.

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Take a picture of something “sweet” and write about it.

Wednesday,
How Sweet It Is Seven Day Sugar Challenge

Something sweet

This isn’t a recent picture but it is something sweet. The last time I was in NYC with friends, we went to a Mexican restaurant and I was so struck by this sweet gesture. It was close to Valentine’s Day and there was this lovely window display. It was there to represent beautiful feelings of adoration and whimsy. I really appreciate the effort it took to create the effect. It is here to remind me that if I look, I know I can find many examples of sweetness. What if I craved that, instead of dessert? What would that be like? The habit would still be there looking for something sweet but the my routine wouldn’t cause me to gain weight, feel sluggish, or defeated. What if, I could change my routine and still get that same reward? What would that habit loop look like? In terms of habit loops it would look like this…

Source for Habit Loop Template: http://charlesduhigg.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Slide11.jpg

Unfortunately, stress is one of my cues to crave sweets. I notice that when I eat something sweet I get that momentary sense of calm and wellbeing from it. Maybe, I can redefine that craving for sweet into a more productive routine, like looking for sweetness in the world. I am reminded of the beginning of this journey…

What if, I spent my time looking for beauty instead of overlooking it? What would I find? I want to adopt a generous lens, one that looks for strengths, not deficits.

Day Eleven…
SEPTEMBER 13, 2017

I think there is a lot to this. I think I may have been forgetting how important it is to look to the world for sweetness and beauty instead of looking to food. I encourage you to consider this because it might help you too. That is always one of my reasons for writing, to help myself figure out some stuff, and to inspire others to help themselves. It feels good to be part of something that sparks hope and discovery. Be well on the journey.

Day Three…

Day two is down, and I have to say, I’m not wishing for any of the sweet stuff. I rolled over another four points and I’m feeling good about that accomplishment. A pro tip to share, I mixed in spaghetti squash with a 1/2 cup of linguini and topped it off with homemade sauce, a 2 oz meatball and a spoon full of part-skim ricotta cheese. It was very delicious. I even had room for a piece of Italian bread which was also excellent. My whole dinner was 7 SmartPoints. Try it, it’s a nice alternative to just eating pasta.

Write one memory in detail that involves eating sugar.

Monday How Sweet It Is Seven Day Sugar Challenge

Looking across the table there were so many good things to try. A box of Russel Stover’s chocolates, a try of holiday cookies from my favorite, Copenhagen’s Bakery, a bowl of fruit with chocolate dipped strawberries, pineapples, and apple pieces sticking out of it on skewers. a tub of creamy vanilla Hagen Dazs ice-cream, homemade apple pie, coconut cream pie, lemon meringue, and a cherry pie glistening with a sugary crust. I sighed in anticipation, and took a plastic dessert plate, it was small and round with pleated edges lined with a gold stripe. I took:

  • a thin crisp chocolate chip cookie
  • a skinny slice of lemon meringue pie
  • a small slice of apple pie with a spoon full of ice-cream
  • a chocolate dipped strawberry
  • a piece of Russel Stover candy – a raspberry creme

My little plate had not an inch to spare. I bit the cookie and it was a combination of sweetness and crumbly sandy texture. I listened to the conversation, smiling and nodding. My brother had found a new house he wanted to buy and it sounded like it had the potential to be the perfect home. Then I tasted the meringue airy and delicious with a tart lemon taste that was anchored by the soft crust below. I listened to my nieces and nephew give me his college update, how it was going what he was learning. Now my fork dipped down into the flakey pie crust into the glistening gooey apples that are tucked within. I complimented my niece as she was the baker, she had created another triumph. My teeth broke through the thick chocolate shell into a sweet strawberry as I laughed out loud at a story my brother was recounting from his wild youth. I looked down at my plate at the last lonely piece of candy, the raspberry cream, another celebration was ending.

So many happy times are tied to food aren’t they? Eating is an experience, and it’s one that can be easily revisited when times get tough. It’s easy to turn to food if I’m not aware of its power and hold over me. Who knows maybe that is why I want a bigger dessert. Maybe, it pulls in some of those other feelings of love, acceptance, and home that I want to be connected to. All of that is very possible. It’s funny, after writing out this memory, I am not craving any of the food, the sweet stuff I am craving is being with my family. It’s about love not cookies.

Day One…

I’m back to “Day One” I am over my Lifetime Goal by 4.2 pounds, and I would like to lose 11.4 pounds in total. It may seem like a mistake or strange to make the first words of this post, be about “the numbers” because WW is about more than weight loss. This journey is about choices, beliefs, planning, and empowerment – however, it is also about maintaining and losing weight. The numbers don’t define me, but they do help to focus me. Does that make sense?

Here are somethings I’m thinking about after my WW workshop:

  • Bob has lost 102 pounds over the past 72 weeks. He shared how he keeps it fresh by finding and sharing recipes. Another important part of his success story involved our community. We help each other. There is so much good in our community and like Bob, I appreciate how valuable it is to my life. Listening to him this morning was a real gift to me – it was what I needed to hear.
  • Joan had an important discovery that after she gave up Milano cookies she has been consistently losing weight. She is down over 7 pounds. She examined a pattern and made a meaningful change that is getting her closer to her goal.
  • Bonnie talked about the importance of setting small goals – and she is exactly right about that. I know that setting small goals help me.

My goal this week is to cut out added sugar.

Jenn Hayhurst

How Sweet It Is… Instead of eating added sugar I will…

SatExplore your reasons for cutting sugar and reflect.
SunGive one little word (OLW) for sugar cravings. Why?
MonWrite one memory in detail that involves eating sugar.
TueWrite a list of alternatives to a sugar filled dessert?
WedTake a picture of something “sweet” and write about it.
ThuRead an article about sugar and respond.
FriReflect on your week without sugar: What did you learn?
Explore your reasons for cutting sugar & reflect

This is all subjective but I think eating sweets makes me hungrier. One thing for certain is that eating sweets uses up a lot of my SmartPoints balances and that is not helpful. I also think it’s important for me to select a goal that is finite this week – one that I either accomplish or don’t accomplish. I want to give this goal my full measure of devotion. I need a good goal – think this is the right goal fro right now.

Setting Goals & Making a Plan…

  1. The goal is to track the food I eat.
  2. I will start on Monday, and track each day until Saturday.
  3. Every time I eat I will record it in my tracker.
  4. I am going to track everything I eat.
  5. Every time I eat something the next thing I will do is to record it my tracker.
  6. I will think about my goal every day.

For What It’s Worth…

Today a teacher’s assistant made a joke that maybe I should gain some weight. Yes, that happened. I don’t think she meant to be insensitive, sometimes people don’t realize how their words may be received. I include myself in that crowd. I’m sure if you were to go through my posts, you’d find things that could be misinterpreted. Words are powerful. Sharing my story is one way I was able to get to goal and achieve Lifetime status. Now it’s an important part of how I manage maintenance. This is where I try to be completely honest about how it’s going.

So… how’s it going?

I’ve been struggling lately, I have found myself picking at food and not tracking. Eating some foods that are not helpful and tend to make me hungrier. For example, I love cereal but it’s not a good food choice for me. I’ve been finding myself in the kitchen on the hunt for something to eat when I’m not really hungry. It’s only just recently over the past few days, that I’ve been able to turn it around. I’m tracking and I’m rolling over points. I’m being thoughtful about what I eat and how much. I’m working on being mindful and that helps a lot.

I guess I’m learning not to be so fixed with my story and to just be open to what is really happening now. I can do this, I can do this. I can do this. So can you.