Category: #gratitude

Follow Your Heart

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It has been an emotional few days. I am the kind of person who has unconsciously used food to soothe negative emotions like stress, fear, or sadness. Now that I am more self-aware of this misguided habit, I can say I have grown wiser about emotional eating. However, this wisdom does not help me with the pain I feel at this moment.

For better and for worse emotions are part of life. Maybe the best thing I can do is to name what I’m feeling. Right now, I am sad because I miss my son. He is living his life. He is happy, safe, and loved, and for all of this, I am (truly) grateful. This is helping me because now I see that it’s not just sadness I feel it’s also gratitude; but more than that it is love.

No Matter What

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The bravest thing we can do is to surrender to the understanding that love is our most powerful expression of self. All the fear, anxiety, and anger are really subordinate emotions there to protect us from rejection or disappointment. I think all these emotions are bundled up and intertwined like chains that keep us back from reaching our full potential.

It’s hard, to be honest about what made me gain back some of the weight that I lost. It would be lazy thinking to say, “It must be genetics.” Don’t misunderstand me, I’m certainly not diminishing the role of genetics, we are all built differently, and that is a good thing. There are so many ways to be beautiful, I don’t believe we were ever designed to look or be one way in this diverse world. Diversity is the vanguard of a healthier, more evolved, better planet. What I am saying, is that I know myself. I know when I feel more at home in my own skin. I feel physically stronger and mentally clearer when I am in control of my weight. Rediscovering this truth is both painful and beautiful. Painful, because I let that slip away; beautiful, because I have the wisdom to recognize it.

I think that maybe weight gain is just another layer of protection. Food can transport us back to happier times when (if we’re very lucky) to carefree days of youth, family, security, and traditions. The food we eat tells stories of our roots. So in that way, we can time travel back through eating. We can share our stories through food, food can even be an expression of love. Really, don’t you think it’s playing it safe to show or experience love through food? I’m not kidding myself, for me, I think all of that has to do with why I gained back weight – carrying the weight of the world literally on my back (and everywhere else).

This is a heavy thing, to say no matter what for the rest of my life, I am going to do all that I can to lead with love – even if that means I am rejected; even if I fail; even if it means love is not returned back to me. It’s not just about weight loss, it’s about becoming someone more evolved than I am today.

Finding Freedom

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I don’t want to think of my weight loss journey as being something separate from my life. What I mean is, I don’t want to say, “Well I’m on vacation so I will just have fun, and forget about following my Weight Watchers plan.” There is a subtle but destructive message in that thinking. This kind of thinking assigns something punitive to being on a weight loss journey. As if I cannot have all the fun I want and still be cognizant of how many points I’m consuming. This is a false narrative because I can be on vacation, be on plan, and have a great time.

Some might be thinking, “She has gone off the rails! Don’t drink the Kool-Aid!” I think, what I’m doing is, finally coming to my senses. I don’t want to be a prisoner of weight loss. That sounds hyperbolic but if I look back, I see that it was always black-or-white thinking. I was either good or bad; on or off and in that way, the prison I found myself in was by my own design.

A vacation would become a tripwire; after eating and drinking freely coming home to stringent routines would marginalize a personal sense of power. “See I gained ‘x’ amount of pounds, I can’t be trusted with my own decision-making.” A weight loss journey comes down to making choices. I am learning how to trust myself to make choices that will allow me to live a full life and improve my health not just when I’m in my controlled environment of home but anyplace.

Love is the Answer

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Most people have trouble losing weight. The most obvious reasons are: it takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, and consistent motivation to make it happen. Sometimes it’s not hard to stay in control (I’m in touch with healthy habits, and I feel good about where I am on the journey), and then other times it can seem doggedly difficult. Maybe I look at a picture and think, “Ugh… am I even making any progress?” True story, I felt that way just this afternoon.

There can be weeks of steady improvement followed by days of struggle. It is as though there is an on/off switch inside my head. Right now the switch is on for healthy living, but past experiences have taught me not to take that for granted. Something is nagging me I keep returning to these questions: “What changed?” How did I get back on track, and how did I lose the resolve from last time?” I really do like how I feel when I’m in check with healthy living, and yet (just like turning off a switch) falling out of step with these habits can happen in a snap.

Why? I think the change (for better or worse) hinges on subtle cues that activate behavioral responses. Today’s unflattering picture is a good example. On one hand, it might trigger me to drop my healthy habits, “Ugh.. might as well eat ice cream.” The other scenario might be, “Wow, it’s a good thing I am working on myself, keep going.” But really both scenarios are examples of negative self-talk. That is something to pay attention to and to work on.

The saddest part about this is when my family looked at the picture they said, “Look you have a genuine smile, you look really pretty.” When they see me, they just feel love. All of the anxiety and vanity tied up in needing to lose weight can cloud all perspective. Now that I think about it this post isn’t really about being fearful that I’ll lose my healthy habits. This post isn’t about me feeling upset with my physical appearance. Those are distractions, my weight loss journey is about so much more than habits, anxiety, and vanity. This is a journey to learn how to love myself for who I am right now, and to strive to evolve to be more today than I was yesterday.

Phone a Friend

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A friend sent me today’s cover image. She is traveling with her husband in their RV across the country. Driving on highways and local roads gives an intimate perspective of the land that air travel cannot give. They are experienced RVers who have done this every summer for many years. They know the ropes for how to pack, they can calculate how long it will take to get to their destination, and they know where to make reservations for the better campgrounds. They have an understanding of how this process works, and so they have clear expectations for what will happen along the way.

Knowing what to expect and having the capacity for doing what needs to be done, makes a successful journey possible. This thinking works for weight loss too. For so many of us, we know what to do to plan for successful weight loss, and yet we stop ourselves from actually taking the journey. Why? A reason might be because although we get close we never make it to the ultimate destination. Another reason might be that we reach the weight loss goal but can’t sustain it. Yet another reason may be that something significant changed in life, and now the systems to achieve a healthy lifestyle had to change.

Where are you on your weight loss journey right now? Maybe you’re all packed up and seeing the sights. Maybe you had to take a detour and are figuring out your new route. Maybe you took a pit stop and now your vehicle won’t start, you’ll need the tools to fix it. No matter where you are on your weight loss journey, please believe that you are the one who holds the keys. You are the only person who can decide what happens next to you.

When thinking about all the possible scenarios that could inhibit weight loss if you find yourself in the worst situation; like you’re stuck on the side of the road, your tire is flat and it’s raining... all is not lost. Sometimes, the best choice is to call in help from a friend. It’s true that this journey is one of self-reliance (only you can decide to take the trip) but it doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers. Sometimes the best thing you can do to get yourself moving again is to ask a friend for help.

Weight Loss in the Real World

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Someone said the most amazing thing this morning, “I’m eating pizza and beer and I’m still, losing weight.” That is the secret to making a lifelong change. No one should have to stop having fun or doing social things with friends just to lose weight. Issues with food are especially complicated because food is both necessary and social. I’m happy to say, as a member of WW I am really learning how to strike that balance.

When it comes to weight loss it’s easy to be overwhelmed, if you don’t have the right mindset and tools. When making decisions about how to lose weight, be sure to find a program that offers education about nutrition and the benefits of being active. Learning how to: counterbalance eating out, recipes, and meal planning, portion sizes, and understanding what macronutrients are and why they matter.

Not all calories are created equally – what a person eats is used by the body in different ways. A bowl of cereal may be as many calories as a slice of avocado toast, but the avocado toast will be more filling because of the macronutrients.

Celebrations Happen…

Today is a special day for my family. It is my 34th wedding anniversary and the 25th birthday of our twins. There will be eating out, there will be cake and a glass of wine. Looking back I know where I lost my perspective about food, stress and convenience were big factors that lead to weight gain for me. Thinking about the future, I am filled with gratitude for the people who support my weight loss efforts, and I hope these blogs are useful to you in yours.

Let’s Go

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Sometimes self-belief is enough to push past a difficult moment. In the moments when, it’s really hard to go work out, or prepare a healthy meal feels like it’s slipping away the more time passes. Maybe the full water bottle that is just sitting there as though it was a stage prop rather than a beverage to drink. In those moments it is possible to rely on self-determination to get it done. I had a moment like this last night…

We went to dinner and show, it was late when we got home and I still had not worked out. The choice was to have a scoop of ice cream and hang out or go work out; otherwise, I would break my 19 week-streak of working out every day. So, I worked out. Now that the choice is in the past, it’s easy to forget how hard it was in the moment. I am finding, when that happens, it’s best just to say, “Enough, let’s go.” and lean into healthy habits.

This or That

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Right now, I am hungry. Reflecting on my hunger I would say I am a 3 that is starting to lean toward a 2 on the Hunger Scale. But… it’s not quite dinnertime yet. So I am taking action and going to nosh on some salad to tide me over until it’s time to eat. This reflection is a big deal for me because it would be so easy to open up some chips and dip without even thinking about it.

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It’s Father’s Day, and we are having a Whale of a Dad ice cream cake from Carvel later for dessert. If I want to have my cake and eat it too, I need to make some choices. Do I want chips and dip or cake? The Carvel cake is the winner today. This is how I’m learning how to live my life and lose weight, and some days are harder than others. For today, I was able to maintain control, and for that, I’m just going to say thank you and take the win.

For all the dads out there, Happy Father’s Day! I hope you are having a wonderful day with your families and friends. Let’s hear it for dads!

A Weight Loss Journey

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Weight loss (or gain) is so complicated. It is a private matter, but everyone else can see it happening. There is no one right way to lose weight, yet everyone (and I mean everyone) has opinions about what is good or bad when it comes to losing weight. It’s not any better if you happen to be in a gaining weight phase. If you are gaining weight, well-meaning family or friends will try to help by calling it out. I know this is an act of love but… it is mortifying. One thing I know for sure is weight loss can only happen when you’re ready to make the change.

Many are desperate to make that change but don’t know how to get started. I speak from experience, this last go around for me felt so overwhelming at first. During one Weight Watcher meeting I said, “But the energy it takes to lose weight is just so much.” Another member, a woman I have come to really care about said, “Yeah, but what choice do you have?” Her question hung in the air as I looked down at my shoes shaking my head. Now, I think maybe her question gave me the push I needed. The choice was to either: develop my healthy habits again or just gain back ALL the weight I lost. Now you know how I answered that question, I put on my big girl pants (hahaha) and did the work to get myself back on the program.

Reading this back to myself makes my decision sound very obvious and easy. It wasn’t. Just as it’s not an easy choice to turn to surgery or medication. I can be a real worrywart when it comes to people I love, and their choices are giving me pause. I am concerned because there are real risks that come with surgery or medications. However, being obese comes with very serious consequences too. Some nagging questions that come to mind are, “Will weight loss as a result of surgery or medication be effective without putting in the time to establish strong habits to maintain the loss? Will they learn how to make healthy food choices that will maintain better health? Will they do the internal work to explore their relationships with food?” Then I think, “OK, turn those questions back on yourself.”

I have lost a lot of weight without surgery or medication, and I did gain back a significant amount since I hit my “goal” in 2018. As I said as I started this post weight loss is complicated. All of this is true, but so is this, I have maintained (at minimum) an impressive 43-pound weight loss since 2018. That isn’t nothing. I also believe in my heart, that if I hadn’t learned about how to keep healthy habits I would have surely gained it all back. The habits, plus having an incredibly supportive community to turn to have made a difference… for me.

Only you can answer the question, “When it comes to weight loss what would work for me?” There is no one right way to shed unwanted pounds, there are no guarantees, and everything comes with some risk. The only thing I can say for sure is when you make up your mind to make a change, change will happen. I believe in you, you can do this.