Category: #why

Just Play

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When I reflect on my past, I find that there were times when I felt like an outsider looking in. Everyone was learning or doing a “thing” that I wanted to do too, but I couldn’t get the hang of it. If it didn’t come easy, it obviously wasn’t for me. Now I know that in those cases I had a fixed mindset and that impeded my ability to adapt and learn.

Click here to watch this video of Carol Dweck, to learn more.

In the case of weight loss, I remember feeling so overwhelmed by the process, “I have to eat every day, what food is ok to eat? Right now, I haven’t eaten anything yet I’m perfect, I’m going to mess up.” and then would give up. Then the other extreme, was that I’d be so rigid, “I can only eat these foods. If I eat these foods, I lose weight and if I don’t I’ll gain weight.” that was exhausting and wasn’t sustainable. My problem was that I was only thinking about the food. The food wasn’t the issue, the food wasn’t doing something to me, it was my behaviors that needed to change.

My inability to figure out how to make weight loss work for me would set off a series of negative thoughts. I would think, “How can you let your eating get out of control?” It felt a lot like a character flaw. My weight would go up and down in a mirror image of my personal struggles. If any of this sounds familiar, then you would understand what I was going through. This was painful.

Automaticity Set Me Free

Paul McCartney, the Edge, or Jake Kiszka don’t have to think about how to play the guitar they just play…

the Edge
JakeKiszka

Watching these guitarists makes it plain to see, they are fluid with their motions and aren’t thinking about how to play. It’s not about the guitar. Since they’re not thinking of the mechanics of playing, they can focus on the creativity and joy of playing. Automaticity means getting to a place where you don’t have to use up all your mental energy learning how to do something. They play guitar because they love it. It’s part of who they are. Doing something because you love it is its own reward and consequently intensifies how skilled you become. This is true for weight loss too.

  • Cultivate the habits that will bring you success
  • Practice these habits (repetition matters more than time)
  • Let yourself fall in love with the process and experience joy

At first glance, habits seem overly predictable and even monotonous. Actions define being. What do you want? Who do you want to be? If you want to lose weight and be a person who lives a healthy lifestyle then your habits (not your skill) will be the thing that grants you access to be on the inside. Once that happens weight loss will follow and it will not feel like work, and the number on the scale week to week will not hold all the power. You will be empowered, and you will find joy in the process.

The Long Game

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It took a while to get the hang of my habit tracker.

  • My habits were bleak!
  • In the beginning habits were slow to catch on…
  • By now habits were become more steady.
  • I am getting the hang of this habit thing.
  • You can see which habit needed to change from a daily habit to a weekly.
  • A new month!

Don’t give up, just keep coming back, and before you know it you’ll be doing actually doing what you set out to do!

Start With One Every Day

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Healthy people eat mindfully, work out, and stay hydrated, they know how to use moderation when it comes to food. How do they do it? Habits. The habits we keep reveal our real selves to the world. Well, I hate to burst the bubble but this is old news! If you belong to WW we talk about habits all the time.

Success is not about knowing that habits create systems for weight loss. Success comes from knowing how to establish and keep habits. What if one day, you made a commitment to a daily water goal? What if the next week, you made a commitment to weigh yourself once a day? What if the week after that you added keeping a food diary? Then, what if you got a fitness monitor and decided to do some kind of activity (even if it was just for 10 minutes) every day? You would lose weight.

If weight loss is what you’re after give this some serious thought. Maybe you need a visual reminder – leave a note to initiate your habits. It might be that you need an auditory cue – set an alarm.

You can do this, and I hope you know that I am here rooting you on! Do someone a solid, and a cheerleader for them too. The success of others is worth celebrating even if you’re not there yet. Kindness is a magnet it brings us together.

Changes

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Here is a moment from my day to celebrate. Instead of ordering out with the girls, I ate the lunch I packed from home. The great part is that I didn’t feel as though I missed out on anything. I really enjoyed eating with my friends, and I still stayed on track. There have been times when it wouldn’t go this way. I felt good because my health and wellness journey is important to me. I want to make a positive impact on my life and it’s working. I feel better, even if sometimes it’s difficult, I am proud of myself for maintaining my resolve.

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Honesty & Negativity

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February 18, 2023, was fourteen weeks ago. I have worked out every day for the past 14 weeks. In that time we have changed seasons, moving from winter and are headed toward the end of spring. I can (mostly) keep up with my Peloton classes, and I feel much stronger and more fit and that feels like progress. At the same time, I feel like all the extra weight I am carrying around with me, has amassed in my torso. So while I feel my muscles working I also feel like they are completely submerged in excess fat. So even though I feel good when I’m working out, I’m also a little bummed out.

Now, I find myself asking lots of questions like: Why did I let myself gain so much weight back? How long will it take to not feel so heavy? When will I see a decrease in my waist size? None of these questions are very helpful but this blog is a place, to be honest, and these are thoughts I’m having today. I would rather share them, and look at them than let them keep playing unchecked in my head. I think by reflecting on these negative thoughts, I can disempower them and relegate them to the background instead of letting them have center stage.

None of these feelings steal my joy of working out every day. I am so happy I am making time to do that and the habit is well-established now. There are ups and downs on a weight loss journey (hahaha I just read that back) but you know what I mean. Feelings are fleeting and the most important thing to do, when dealing with negativity, is to be honest about it – feel the feels and keep going.

Living the Plan

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Members of Weight Watchers know about “blue dot days”. Blue dots represent a range of points (all foods have specific point values) and when members eat within that range (a healthy eating zone) the day turns blue. It’s just another way to gather some formative information on the journey to lose weight:

I am living my life, and I’m losing weight. It really can be done. Sunday was Mother’s Day and for me, that meant using up all my extra weekly points (we get a set number of weekly points to use at our discretion). Then on Wednesday, I went over my daily allotment of points too, and that’s ok too. I’m not interested in feeling deprived or disappointed; but, this doesn’t mean it’s a free-for-all either. I am learning how to (I just can’t help myself) have my cake and eat it too.

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Mix it up

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If only this post’s featured image was my kitchen. It comes from a beautiful blog called, The Spruce. What is it about looking at organized spaces that are so appealing? Perhaps it has something to do with the brain and patterns (the brain LOVES patterns). Maybe it has something to do with exercising control over the environment. Or could it be the appeal of having others think, “Wow, she really has her life all figured out.” Ha!

Whatever the reason, I do love an organized space. Yet, I’m the kind of person who, when she is working, makes a big mess. I pull things out, I make piles, and I don’t always make the best choices for how to store things away. My goal is to declutter one cabinet in my kitchen. I decided on one cabinet because I don’t really want to spend hours doing this, and I don’t want to feel overwhelmed. This is a doable goal for me, and if all goes well, I will do another cabinet tomorrow. Maybe.

Why the kitchen? Since I have been so engaged with my weight loss journey, my kitchen has been taking a beating with all the COOKING I’ve been doing. I actually do like to cook, and I do enjoy the food I make. I enjoy it when I have the time, I’m not too exhausted from working all day, and when I can find everything I need. So mostly, I enjoy cooking on the weekends and during the summer when I work a little less. In the meantime, I still have to cook on all those other days, and if I am a bit more organized I think it will help me.

Why have these daily challenges?

Simply, having small doable goals brings me joy. Small goals also spark momentum. Having a sense of momentum is especially important when you have a lot of weight to lose. I say this because a successful weight-loss journey relies on habits that form a network of predictable systems. I think of these daily challenges as a way to mix it up.

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Take a Break to Reflect

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Did you do today’s challenge? Did you take an intentional break? I wish I could tell you I did, but I didn’t, and today was a real pressure cooker. When there is a lot of stress, it makes good sense to take a break from it, but instead, I just kept pushing. Does this happen to you? When things get really stressful, I get consumed with doing whatever it takes to get it done. It’s complicated too, because (for me) stress can be a motivator. Stress gets me moving, and I focus on the work at hand and tune everything else out. But… at the same time, I have to be careful that stress doesn’t trigger old habits, like snacking under pressure.

If you read my blog, looking for an expert, I would feel like a fraud. I am not an expert, I am still figuring out this weight loss journey every single day. What I am (I can say this confidence) is a learner. The path to personal growth is through honest reflection, so here it is – I had a moment after dinner when I didn’t really want to go upstairs and work out. At that moment, I turned to my husband and said, “I’ve got to work out, or I won’t do it and this whole thing can fall apart.” By “whole thing” I meant all my habits. Thinking in these terms is called, “black-and-white thinking”

Did I resort to this misguided thought to push myself? Deliberately piling on more stress after an extremely stressful day. Or, did I really believe that ALL my habits would disappear if I didn’t go for a 20-minute cycling class at the moment? Could my answer be a bit of both? I don’t regret working out, that’s not the point, I do feel really good post-workout. I am concerned by the thought of not working out, if I didn’t do this one thing, then all my good habits would go away. This heuristic thinking is not helpful for me in the long run because I am attempting to change my life. Change can only truly arrive if I stop repeating past mistakes.

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Inspiration

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When was the last time you felt inspired? I know so many people who inspire me. In many ways, this post is dedicated to all of them. But specifically this post is about just one. Inspiration is something to be let into the heart, It is pure positive energy that lifts us up as though we were riding in a hot air balloon into a cerulean sky. Knowing someone else’s story and seeing how that person overcame obstacles, or maybe was selfless, or is someone who despite hardships still just doesn’t give up. These are the people who give us the drive to be more than we are today.

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Today was one of the top ten weather days of the year. Long Island is really a special place when the sun is shining. Sometimes, like today, there is a light cool breeze that teases the air, kissing your cheeks like an old friend who is so happy to see you again. My husband and I wanted to make the most of this beautiful day, so we went to Eaton’s Neck, to walk along Hobart Beach.

Hobart Beach is the thin line of land extending from Eaton’s Neck. I earned over 14,000 steps today!

During out walk we talked about many things. It was intimate and lovely. I told him all the ways he inspires me, and I’m so glad I did. It wouldn’t have happened this way had it not been for this May Challenge.