I ate too much yesterday and now I feel like a failure. I let old habits creep in and I ate mindlessly. Failure isn’t fun. My rational mind says, “Don’t be ridiculous, you’re being dumb.” While my emotional mind says “Yep, you blew it. Back to old habits.” The two vacillate back and forth as if it’s a vengeful tennis match and my neck hurts from whiplash as I watch the volley.
Hey, did you notice that neither voice was very kind? I just did reading this back to myself.
As my friend, Regina would say, “I’m going to throw myself a pity party.” This is so damn hard sometimes. I wish, wish, wish it weren’t but it is and I don’t think it will ever get easier. I think I’m always going to have to think about this and fight my natural predisposition about food. That sucks, that really sucks, boo-hoo… That’s it. That’s all I have to say about that. It actually helps to say that here because this blog is my place to always tell the truth about what it takes to lose weight and maintain my weight loss. It just plain old sucks.
So what’s next? Well, I printed my action plan. The one I wrote the other day – and I’m putting it up and am going to carry it around with me. I can try that. I can forgive myself because this is hard, and I have done something amazing – I lost 93 pounds. That’s literally a huge accomplishment. Today I entered my code for my #WW #LIFETIME status and that is something to be really proud of – I did that – me. I can remind myself of all of this as I write this post sitting in my kitchen, cooking homemade sauce in my size four jeans. I’m doing this for me and I am hoping my words are reaching you and inspiring you to do the same.
It goes to show that sometimes, even if I follow the plan faithfully and work all of my strategies, I can still go up. I think this why many people give up on weight loss. It can be discouraging to say “no” to things like candy, bread, and pasta and not be rewarded with a loss on the scale.
However, I am so proud of myself for making such good choices this week. Everything I did, I did for me and that’s what really counts. I know that the next time I step onto the scale, I will be more successful in terms of numbers. I am also thinking about my Saturday morning friends. A faithful tribe of others who attend the workshop meetings with me. Here is some advice I will keep in my pocket this week:
Celebrate! I am part of a community who understands me.
Apple picking! Living on Long Island, New York I am fortunate to have a local apple orchard, Richter’s Apple Orchard. Recommended apples were Ida Reds and Snapdragons.
Snap & Track! When dining out, I can take a picture of my plate and look at it later to track more realistically than trying to remember.
Good advice right? So another challenge put forward this week references Shawn Achor’s research around happiness. The long and the short of it is that happier people make better choices. So our challenge is to find three things to be happy about for three days. I’m up for that, are you?
Lastly, as I think about today, I am struck by how important these three skills are: Time, Planning, and Mindset:
Time: Get comfortable knowing that timetables and weight loss are at odds with each other. It is unrealistic to wish for weight loss each and every week no matter how dedicated I am to the program. I’m in this for the long run.
Planning: When something is important I make room for it. If I need to shop, plan, and prepare foods so I can be successful. The same thinking goes towards activity too. I can elect to see my decision to plan for my success as an act of self-care.
Mindset: It’s all in the way you look at it. I have decided to see my weight loss journey as a way to welcome joy into my life. I see it as permission to spend some time on me. I have to say that it feels good to focus on my own needs. I feel like I can be more present for others than I could before.
I had wild salmon for dinner and it was delicious. Another good thing, I packed and pre-tracked my lunch and breakfast for tomorrow.
The plan is to go to bed early, I am determined to wake up and go to spin in the morning. Plus I really do need a good night’s sleep, I was tired today and it’s hard to teach when you’re tired. Getting enough rest is part of the journey to good health and wellbeing and it’s something that I tend to neglect.
Well, I just yawned as if on cue with this post! More tomorrow…
Today was another crazy work day! And tomorrow is going to be another. There is no time for me right now. I can’t imagine why I did this to myself. Oh yeah… money. Ok, so I’m in the thick of it right now.
I used all my points today but I did make some very good food choices. For breakfast, I had nonfat Greek yogurt and berries and banana. A few hours later I had some vegetable sticks and a cheese stick as a mid-morning snack. For lunch, I had one cup of three bean chili with cheese and diced tomato on top. Later, I had a small sweet potato with 7 grams of butter (yup I weighed the butter) as a late afternoon snack For dinner,. I ate a cup of rice with black beans and cilantro and 5 oz of turkey kielbasa. For dessert, I ate two sugar-free dark chocolate jellos (yeah, I probably only needed one but I wanted two) with fat-free whipped cream. As I look back on my day I could’ve eaten less cheese but either way, I would say it was a good day on plan.
I’m turning in because I’m tired. I did do my little nighttime ritual, washing my face with my favorite soap, applying my facial cream, and (of course) flossing and brushing my teeth. These small acts are a way to practice a little self-care amidst my professional chaos. I am so grateful to be where I am right now even though I’m not at goal yet. Every day I remind myself that I can do this. I tell myself every small step gets me closer to goal. I can do this, and so can you.
This post is coming at you late because it has been a long day of work. I spent most of today writing on my computer. I found myself thinking about food a couple of times. Two times were because I was experiencing internal hunger. Time had slipped by and I had not eaten in over four hours and I wasn’t craving anything, in particular, I just wanted to eat something. However, one time I was thinking about a Carvelite Ice Cream Cone and that was a desire to alleviate some stress. I didn’t go for the cone because I had a chocolate chip cookie after lunch. I’m ending the day with one rollover point. Breakfast 2sp; Lunch 8sp; and Dinner was 10sp.
So while I have this tremendous workload going I decided, I needed a boost. So I did two things to help myself…
One: I prepared a really delicious dinner. I cleared my dining room table of all my books and the whole family sat and enjoyed the meal together. It was homemade sauce (with pork) and pasta. A true comfort meal for me and I was able to eat it, enjoy it, and still stay on plan. I did weigh and measure my serving, and I had a piece of bread to dip in my leftover sauce. So darn good.
Two: I needed a visual anchor to remind myself of how far I’ve come in terms of weight loss. On my right, is my mother’s ring sparkling up at me. There to remind me of all the years it was tucked away in a draw because I couldn’t wear it. On my left, my engagement ring, and wedding ring which were at one time, too small for my fingers. Now they are so loose they turn to the side. I did that.
I think it’s important to give yourself a chance to be successful. When you know you are going to be up against it you’ve got to plan in some relief. Celebrate all the victories none are too small. Believe you can do it even when your circumstances aren’t ideal. You are worth every ounce of effort. I’ll be back at this tomorrow. Do this with me we can all get to goal.
If you’re wondering why today is being counted as 357, it is because I realized I made an error in the recordings of the journeys around day number 319. So, today is the real “357” there are 8 days left until it’s been a year of me blogging every day. I think that’s a huge victory. Taking this time every day for self-reflection, to indulge my curiosity about health and well-being, and to try to connect with others is a really important accomplishment for me. I credit a lot of my success on this journey to writing about it every day. I don’t think I’m overstating it when I say, writing is saving my life.
Today is going to be a big work day and I plan on making vegetable soup. A nice bowl of vegetable soup is just what I need to take good care of myself. Now that Canelli beans are zero points, I can add those into the soup. Then, I’ll puree mixture of vegetables and beans and add it back into the soup. This will give the soup a creamy texture, without adding dairy. I might add a potato too I know that adds points but it’s worth it. I didn’t gain 89.2 pounds for adding a potato to my vegetable soup. Another nice benefit of making soup, everyone loves it and it’s so healthy.
I have to thank Weight Watchers for adding Headspace to the app. This is a fantastic addition to the suite of services Weight Watchers offers members. Practicing mindfulness is an area where I could grow. I know this because I created a self-assessment to help myself reflect on the journey. If you’re not a Weight Watcher member, go the website, and check it out. You can sign up for free.
AY 20: Positive self-talk is a very important part of this journey. Speak to yourself as you would a loved one. You would not reprimand the person for gaining weight one week or not tracking the weekend. Concentrate on complimenting yourself today.
I am happy to say that the habits I’ve developed over these past 353 days have helped me to avoid these kinds of slip-ups. Yes, I have gained some weeks but that’s just the body – I can’t control that and I’m ok with it. I’ve said it before, my body doesn’t know it has to perform because it’s Saturday morning at 8:15 am. I can compliment my perseverance. Even though these past days have been extremely challenging I have not given up. I’m proud of myself for sticking it out even though it’s hard. More tomorrow.
I gained .4 pounds this week and that’s ok. This is a process and these fluctuations are to be expected. I feel really healthy and my measurements are less than they were even a week ago. That is my rational mind. There is also a small childish part of me who says, “No fair I did everything I could to make up for cake and ice cream choices I made. This is taking forever.” That is my emotional mind. The reality is weight loss takes time, effort, and patients. This is the way it has to go for me. I can only do my best and hopefully, next week will yield better results on the scale.
Today’s Weight Watcher meeting focused on what it means to have a Non-Scale-Victory (NSV). Owning my real feelings about this week’s small gain and moving on from it without sabotaging myself is an NSV for me. Even now, with all of the behavior changes I have put into place, this acknowledgment of my true feelings is an NSV because there is a very unrealistic part of me that wants what it wants. It’s easy to find comfort in food but I don’t want that to be my story anymore.
So if you’re on the journey, and you are feeling like it’s never going to happen this is the time where you have to lean in and say, “This is is a process and in time I will get what I really want. I really want to get to goal.” If wanting to get to goal is real for you, that will be enough to get you through your disappointment. Honor every feeling you have, don’t try to ignore what your thinking, and talk back to any disappointment you may be feeling, remind yourself of all that you’ve accomplished up to this point. This is hard, but you can do it and so can I.
DAY 4: Take four “mini breaks” today just to breathe deeply for two minutes and be in the moment. Focus on what your body feels like: Is it tired? Are there areas that are tense? Try to relax, if the answer is yes.
I did one of these so far today. I felt some pressure at the base of my head into my neck. I also felt a little pressure under my shoulder blade on my right side. It felt good to be still and try to break up the tensions I was feeling. At one point it felt like a long time had passed even though I had my phone time set for two minutes. I think this is worth doing because it strengthens my ability o be mindful and present. Try it for yourself, let me know what you found. More tomorrow, as always thank you for reading these posts.