This is yesterday’s post (my blog wouldn’t let me post it last night):
So… I gained four pounds this week. I don’t know what to say about that. If you read my blog you know that I’ve been struggling. This is what maintaining weight loss is. I am trying to rewire my brain to understand that there are limits when it comes to food. I’m pretty disappointed about the gain. I know there are lots of people who understand how I feel. They understand because maintaining weight loss can be difficult. However, when I think about my life, I have accomplished many difficult things so really, why not this?
I am determined to accomplish this goal. The rest of my life cannot be “less than” it could be. I want to have as much energy and physical strength as a possible. In order to make that happen, a big part of my “why” has to do with maintaining my weight loss. I want to be able to wear clothes that I like and feel confident and (for me) that involves maintaining my weight loss. These are very good reasons to keep at this.
I am very proud of myself for making my weight loss journey happen. It took a lot of effort, care, and attention to get to goal. I worked hard at this, and manged to enjoy the process throughout my ups and downs. Having goals to work towards is great, but it is also very important to recognize and appreciate “the now” and where I’m at right now is pretty good.
My plan for the week:
Track all my food
Meet my fitness goal
Monitor my emotions
Hopefully this time next week, I’ll be celebrating “Lifetime” status. Fingers crossed wish me some luck because a little good luck never hurt anyone.
Losing weight doesn’t take away feelings of frustration, or disappointment. It’s not a magic bullet and it definitely wasn’t an easy thing to do. Losing weight doesn’t mean I’m a “stronger” person than I used to be. It doesn’t mean I’m more successful than I was before. It’s not that I’m more worthy and ought to be valued more now that I’ve reached this goal.
Yet, now that I’ve lost this weight, I am dealing with a new reality. People don’t understand why I would still need #WW. They don’t get it and they say things like, “Well, you don’t want to lose any more weight. Do you?” I just have to shake my head and wonder why it seems as though everything to do with weight loss is colored by so much judgment.
There is so much societal pressure wrapped up in appearances isn’t there? So whenever I see others who struggle with weight I feel a very strong connection to them. I really understand what it feels like to be so visibly judged. One time I overheard two people making a joke at my expense. They were referencing the fluctuation in my weight, “Is she losing or gaining?” Yeah, that hurt and it made me feel bad. I would readily give up my will to those negative feelings and I would give away my sense of power and control.
I would feel “less than” as if I was somehow not as good as someone else. Which is strange because I was not raised that way. I was a child who came from a loving family who built me up and gave me mountains of courage. This journey to better health has put me more in touch with that part of me. The part of me who believes in herself and who is brave because she is willing to be vulnerable. My weight loss is doing that because it is an extension of self-love and caring.
I am not just one thing – a healthy weight or overweight. Disciplined or out of control. I am a complex person with many shades of all these things. Resisting the label or the box that we all seem to tend to construct around ourselves and others is the thing I have to be most wary of because it minimizes everything I’ve worked to achieve. I am trying to become more fully present and aware of who I want to be and how I want to live my life.
We shall see what tomorrow brings. I will let you know how the first week on maintenance went. As always thank you for reading, for your generosity and support.
There is no doubt that we are living in a stressful world. There is always plenty of bad news, hurt feelings, and depressing images. It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed at each flip of a page, turn of a channel, or click on a screen because we are innodated with constant unyielding information. Know what I mean?
It turns out, the antidote to this crazed harried existence, we all seem to be living, is within the auspice of our own control. Practicing mindfulness is where it’s at. When I started to read a little more about this practice I realized that I have stumbled onto these practices in my effort to get to goal.
The following list names the markers of practicing mindfulness and how they were revealed through my weight loss journey.
Kindness counts: If it’s true that you write your own story in this life. The narrator of that story needs to have a kind voice. My daily reflections for my progress, throughout my weight loss journey is colored by kindness.
Drop the judgment: Acknowledge and accept things for what they are. I was talking to a friend just tonight about how it’s exhausting to think about people who zap your energy. I feel as though I’m surrendering my energy and to what end? The judgment doesn’t change a thing, it just lets negativity linger.
Practicing patience: I’ve had to learn how to wait. There were points in this journey where I’ve felt totally transformed on the inside but it wasn’t showing on the outside. Those were challenging times and I totally understand why so many people give up on the way to goal. Being patience conserves personal power because there is a belief that things will change eventually.
Beginning with a beginner’s mind: I kept that honeymoon phase of #WW going throughout the journey. It is toxic to assume a point of view that there is nothing new to learn. I opened myself up to the possibility of doing things differently this time around.
It’s a matter of trust: I believe in me. I have learned to trust my own personal wisdom. There is no magic book, or program, or pill there is only me and I am enough.
Non-striving: I have always been driven by goals. Getting through graduate school, getting a job, buying a house… It turns out it’s very different when it comes to weight loss. Sometimes being driven by a purpose is not so helpful. If it’s all about the “goal” itself, I would have missed all the good stuff that was happening at the moment.
Acceptance, the ultimate reality check: once I learned to accept wherever I was on the road to getting to goal I was able to be more responsive to what I needed in order to be successful. There were and are lots of challenges, for example being tempted by candy. I love candy and I accept that fact. I can eat it but then I have to track it. To my way of thinking, this is a form of acceptance.
Get ready, get set, let go: Being at peace with myself and not fighting the process is life changing. I now understand that things will unfold as they are meant to and in doing so I have made room for change.
I share these thoughts because I want to help others achieve their goals. I do believe that we all have the power to transform ourselves. However, there is not one right path, it’s understanding your path because you are the path.
Short post today. I went over my points because we ate dinner at a local Greek restaurant and it was really good. I went into my “weeklies” but I think it will be ok. I tracked everything and used a total of 32 SmartPoints. Now, I’m still kind of full and sleepy.
I hopeè you had a good day too. I hope that you are getting the results that you wanted. Know that fast or slow, just taking time to plan out your meals, get active, or examine your emotions is the way to take care of YOU.
So make a promise that you will do something special for yourself tomorrow. I wonder, what will it be? I plan on going to spin and going to bed earlier tomorrow. I think I’m a little sleep deprived. How will you take care of yourself tomorrow? Say, it; jot it; do it.
Last week I was .4 away from GOAL! Now, it’s the day before weigh-in and I am wondering if this will be my week. I just don’t know. I don’t feel that different than last week.
My husband and I went for a walk with our girl, Sadie. She enjoyed the walk as did we.
I had a good week but that doesn’t mean that tomorrow will be my day to get to goal. I feel great, and I can’t believe how much change has happened over a little more than a year. I’ll let you know how it went.
I am so close. During the workshop, many members shared how our time and support system is what is helping them to stay on track. I completely agree. This is a challenge but it can be done.
The other day a colleague told me that when she saw me in the hallway she didn’t recognize me. She looked at me with astonishment because I have been so transformed. In many ways I am different but on the other hand, in some important ways, I’m exactly the same. I had a piece of lemon pound cake after lunch today, and I immediately wanted another slice. I actually stood with my hand on the refrigerator and told myself, “No. No more, you’re done. You already know what it tastes like, and you don’t need anymore.” This worked today. I walked away from the refrigerator.
So even after all these weeks of care and attention, I am still vulnerable to overeating. It’s ok because knowing that about myself actually helps me. Honest reflection makes this possible. I am in this for life and I am grateful that I am learning more about myself.
There are some days that feel as though my life is the real – “hunger games.” Lately, I have had to circle back to gauge whether I’m experiencing internal or external hunger. If you are on a weight loss journey, this is really a game changer (sorry couldn’t resist). Taking a moment to use this as a reflection guide is very helpful:
Whenever I do this, it helps me to act in accordance with what I’m really experiencing when it comes to feeling hungry. It’s so simple and it really helps to stay on plan and stay on track.
I don’t know if this helps you or not but I really hope it does. A weight loss journey can feel like a lonely path but it doesn’t have to be. If you read my blog regularly, you know I’m a fan of #WW because it builds community. I am stronger on this journey because of the people, who so generously share their stories with me. I am part of something and I hope I make you feel that way too.
Maybe, Day Four Hundred-Seventeen will be the day I reach goal:
Again, I was kind of shocked when I heard the news, a loss of .2 pounds was not what I was expecting. So, I cleared my head during the meeting and listened closely to the wisdom of other members. This is what I heard:
Food! People are making really delicious (and healthy) foods. Food is a source of pleasure and enjoyment and they are still losing weight.
Mindfulness! A member shared his mantra, ” Yesterday doesn’t matter. Today’s the day, what are you going to do?” His trifecta to success is Planning Tracking and Activity.
Activity! The number one predictor of weight gain is linked to your level of activity. So go out there and move more.
Growth Mindset! A belief that you have the power to change your life. Acknowledge the challenges but continue to persevere, change happens over time.
Willpower! With the talk about growth mindset, my own thinking went back to willpower. This last month has been a big challenge for me. The thing is, I believe that every experience I have in this life is meant to teach me something. If willpower is a muscle, then right now my willpower is going through Ironman Training…
So, I’m not there YET but I will be one of these days In the meantime, I look at these last few weeks as an opportunity not to take my weight loss for granted. I am learning that I am truly tenacious that when tested I can dig deep and keep going. That’s a wonderful gift and I am truly grateful.
I weigh-in tomorrow, I’m feeling good. Reflecting on my week I can say that it’s been hard to focus on myself. I’ve had to put my needs on the back burner while I handle everything life is throwing at me. It’s a pretty safe bet to say if you’re reading this post you can understand.
I had a few small wins this week. I went to spin two times, I was mindful about my food choices, I tracked even when I knew it would put my weeklies at -4 SmartPoints. I’m ending the week with a +2 so that makes me happy. I had some cravings for comfort foods that I didn’t indulge. When I thought about how far I’ve come and why I’m doing this it was easier to say no to temptations. The rational part of my mind understands that it’s not really the food I want as much as a reprieve from stress.
So either way, no matter what, I am better off today than I was a year ago. Even if I don’t make goal tomorrow I’m proud of myself because I’m not giving up. So, stay at this with me, ok? Believe it, I can do this and so can you.
That is crazy, that was five years ago! I have been doing this for a long time. It’s strange to think about how much I’ve been able to change over the course of this year. I am now down 91.4 pounds. I don’t know if I will get to goal this week. I have one point left in my bank. Now, of course, I wish I had made that extra spin class or passed on dessert. Yet, the whole thing about my #WW journey is to integrate these habits into my life. So when my husband said, “Let’s go out to dinner, it’s Columbus Day weekend.” I said, “Great idea!” I really want to get to goal but I also want to go out with my family and have a nice dinner. This is about long-lasting change and every day and every choice is a lesson in making it work.
I will let you know what happens on the scale tomorrow. Wish me luck.