This not an earth shattering statement, but I need to say it just the same, losing weight and maintaining weight loss is hard. There are a trio of negative feelings that linger over me as I write this post. Disappointment, gaining weight during the pandemic and losing my focus on my health goals is the first. Sadness, is the second, I am mourning the loss of the WW community. I canceled my membership because they are closing all the centers in my area. It is the community, that was the thing made WW special. I can’t imagine why they would give that up. Anxiety, will I be able to do this again? It takes so much energy to accomplish this, do I have it in me to do it again?
Yes. For starters, there are a few things I need to remind myself about. I am not starting over, I have slid backwards but I’m still better off than I was when I began my journey the first time. I know what I need to do make this work for me, and having this knowledge is a huge asset. I have people who love me and who will support me as I go through this, and that is priceless. I still believe in me, I believe I can get to goal. I dowloaded Noom to keep me balanced and engaged. So far, I like it. I like the small goals I am setting. I know that goal setting is a friend to me in this process. I like the idea that all foods have a value and need to be counted. I think I want to establish a habit of a daily weigh in. The platform is sleek and easy to use, I can log my meals in advance so that will be helpful once spring break is over.
Are you with me? Whether you’ve been on a weight loss journey for a long time, or if you are just thinking about starting you are welcome here. Any step towards better health is s step in the right direction. We can do this together.
My husband did a beautiful thing for me today. He painted our bedroom. Of course my favorite paint color is called (wait for it) Butter. That just makes perfect sense to me. Anyway, he was so sweet to do it, because it really was a lot of work. Now I can just sit back and enjoy how lovely it looks.
I wish I could report that today was a great day on plan. It was for the most part until this evening. Then I just snacked mindlessly. I’m am still getting over being sick, I am feeling sore, and just a little bit sorry for myself. I also think I’m also worried. The holidays are coming and while I do love this time of year, it adds additional stress that isn’t always so easy to cope with. I’m not trying to make excuses, I’m trying to understand why I made such poor choices this evening. The bad combination of feeling sick, stress, and worry are not a winning combination. So while yesterday was a battle I won – today was a battle I lost.
All I want for Christmas is to fully appreciate my weight loss journey. Getting to goal was difficult and now I find myself working to get back to Lifetime status. My weight loss journey is the gift I gave to myself, and that’s how I want to honor it – it is something I did just for me. I never want to lose sight of that. If I lose sight of that then it would be like I’m giving up on me. I am grateful that I found myself again on this journey. I know I can do this because I’ve done it before.
For the next 14 days, I will not eat any sweetened foods. For each day I forego desserts or sweetened foods I will do something “sweet” for myself. I think this is a good way to kickstart my plan again because it is something I can control. If you want to join me, I hope you’ll let me know. More tomorrow readers, remember we got this.
WW’s focus this week was about sleep, and now I’m thinking about how important getting quality sleep is to my weight loss journey. I think the reason I gained weight in the first place was because I would stay up late to work and wouldn’t get enough sleep. I would eat when I should have been sleeping. Here are some reasons to consider:
Studies suggest that poor sleep leads to obesity.
Sleep depravation increases appetite.
Well rested people can stave off cravings and make healthier choices.
Late night snacking can becomes a very unhealthy habit
Muscle loss results in poor sleep.
Sleep improves physical performance.
Poor sleep over a few days may result in insulin resistance
If you want to read more about sleep, click here it’s a good read, and very informative.
A couple of things…
I couple of things I did today that in the moment was hard to do but afterward made me feel great. I bought good options when I went to the food store including: cotton candy grapes, cauliflower, snap peas, lean pork tenderloin, and chicken. Later, I wanted a snack, and I put it into my tracker first, when I saw that it would take me out of my “Blue Dot” zone, I decided to pass on it. Then I selected a lower point snack that was satisfying and I am still on track.
It was my turn to submit a journal challenge to the group. I named it, “On Fire! Tools Spark Weight Loss & Wellness” I found reflecting on my tools to be very useful and I thought other people might too. If you would like to do the challenge… here it is::
In my past, when I was not so self-aware I’d let superstition keep me from celebrating weight loss success. Like if I allowed myself to be present and experience the joy of my accomplishment I would be inviting trouble. I would hear that little voice say, “Don’t be too enthusiastic,” it would say “because maybe next week won’t be so kind and the weight will just boomerang back.” That voice was me abdicating my own sense of power I can’t really describe it but it was like I let something else take over and I was left feeling out of control.
The truth is, I am not powerless (neither are you) I am very powerful (so are you). Figuring out how to be honest and claim that power is a big part of what helped to made the difference this week.
I am going to use my WW Recovery Checklist again this week because it was so helpful. It’s a light tool that is a place to remind me of what habits are most helpful and a place to capture my reflections for how it’s going.
We are celebrating my husband’s birthday today and it could have been a recipe for disaster as far as my weight loss journey goes. He asked for his favorite lasagna, garlic bread, and sautéed spinach. That, plus birthday cake would send me over my SmartPoints balance and into my Weeklies. It is true that is why they are there to be used for such occasions – but I wanted to try to do it another way. This is what I did instead:
I tracked a slice of cake for 14 SmartPoints first thing in the morning after my WW workshop.
I kept my points low for the whole day. Yogurt & berries 0 sp. for breakfast, Homemade chicken burger made with 98% lean chicken 0 sp. on a low carb tortilla 2 sp. and a slice of Velvetta cheese 1 sp. and tomato. I also had some vegetable sticks, Mini Baby Bell Light 1 sp. and grapes 0 sp.
When I prepared lasagna for the family, I also made a zucchini lasagna for me 5 SmartPoints Per slice.
I will forgo the bread in favor of the cake.
It comes down to an important question, what do you really want? I really want to take care of my husband and make sure he has a happy birthday, and I want to lose weight this week. My actions today are making that possible.
I did great today. Tracking, making good choices, getting activity. It was a very busy day, and I find myself feeling exhausted. I thought about going to bed and skipping my post, but I decided I could do better. So here I am writing and reflecting.
I was extremely hungry by the time I ate dinner, but I kept it together and kept myself to a portion size. Later, I had a cup of Half Naked popcorn and a frozen banana. Frozen fruit is a great alternative to a high SmartPoint dessert.
I’m good. I hope you are as well. Keep going, keep believing. Remember, most times, believing comes before achieving.
It’s funny how the days worked out, but Day 21 is also the day that we celebrated our daughter’s 21st Birthday. Their official birthday is really June 24th but we are close enough. The party went over as a complete success. They had a great time, our families and neighbors all came to help us celebrate. It was a good day.
Lately, I’ve been watching the TV show, This is Us, on Hulu. I think the appeal for this show is that at its heart, it is all about longing and belonging and a search for clarity. Every character is able to be fully articulate in the important moments. I wish I could do that, maybe that’s why I enjoy writing, I can reread my words in the attempt to capture my important moments. In the show, they use flashbacks to revisit the characters’ past in perfect detail. I wish I could do that too. I wish I could remember my daughters’ first birthday, with that kind of clarity, when my, and my husband’s parents were there. My dad was so sick, and I was just so grateful to have him there. We were on borrowed time, and he didn’t stay long but he was there.
Family events are emotional – whether it’s happiness or sadness it’s all still emotion. It’s so easy to overdo it with the food at these kinds of events. I used 30 SmartPoints for the day, and I feel good about that. I’m working my program, and no matter what my results on the scale are, I will know I did my best. Keep believing and eventually success will catch up.
Being open to the journey means that I am eager to find ways to participate in the process. I have been on this journey in earnest since September 2017, that is a very long time. How do I keep making this fresh? For one thing, I think it is very important maintain a “beginner’s mind”. I’ve written about this concept before. Having a beginner’s mind means lifting preconceptions about what to expect when approaching… well, anything. It is especially helpful, when it comes to weight loss, or maintenance.
So, how can I keep it fresh this week? I asked myself a question, What if I eat more whole foods? How would that impact my hunger levels? To answer that question, I’m experimenting with is eating more whole foods, and saving SmartPoints for dinner. I have been monitoring my hunger cues by setting my phone timer for 4 hours after I finish each meal. I am finding this challenge as helpful in the same way that giving up dessert was good for me last week.
In keeping with the theme of gratitude, today I am grateful for:
Physical Therapy (thank you, Dave you’re helping)
Fresh vegetables (colorful, cheerful, and satisfying)
Lemon juice (I know it’s weird but true lots of flavor 0 sp.)
I hope you are having a positive journey. I am on your side we can all reach our goals together.
Here is the truth about tracking, sometimes making the choice to track is a struggle. Sometimes I just want to eat something without recording it, because when I record it I am held accountable. Sometimes, I decide not to track when I go over my SmartPoints balance. Tonight, I’m not allowing myself that delusion that it doesn’t matter if I eat those fig bars (the package of fig bars has two and one bar is a serving… I ate both). Now my SmartPoints balance is 30 for the day. I’m over my range for weight loss, but still within the range for maintenance. I wouldn’t have known that had I not tracked and thought about it.
Here is another truth about tracking, tracking helped me lose the weight. It just works for me. If I’m avoiding tracking or are unhappy about the numbers in my tracker, then I have to consider why. I don’t like seeing 30 SmartPoints in my tracker tonight. Why’d I do it? I had eaten dessert, I was satisfied with dinner. I think the reason why I ate the extra dessert is because I had a giant bag full of work that had to get done. It took me from when I got home, (excluding making dinner, running my son to Nokado) till 10:45 pm. Obviously, this was frustrating and that probably had something to do with my choice to eat the fig bars.
It was a good week. I made my fitness goals, and I tracked everything. I am continuing to remind myself that I can do this – that even though I’ve slipped up here and there I am still good. This is my story and I’m sticking to it.