Month: March 2023

Be the Boss

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Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack
I went out for a ride and I never went back
Like a river that don’t know where it’s flowing
I took a wrong turn and I just kept going

Bruce Springsteen, Hungry Heart

Bruce sang me most of the way home as I thought about, What if I had a hungry heart instead of this hungry belly? One thing is for sure, things would be a lot worse! Now my wrong turn would only lead to the kitchen for snacks rather than ending a marriage. I changed the station to change the subject and settled into a conversation Beth Stern was having about her sugar cravings. I have to say, that made me feel a bit better, it helps to hear these stories because I am reminded that I’m not alone. I am seriously hungry today, and it’s no fun at all.

There hasn’t been a hungry day in a long while. Now I’m sipping water, and reflecting on what happened that might have brought it on I ate breakfast, packed lunch, and ate a 100-calorie bag of almonds on my ride home. Before work, I fit in a Peloton class and accidentally left my big water bottle at home. This could have been a contributing factor. Sometimes working out in the morning gives me a bigger appetite. There were also some frustrating conversations during the day – frustration can be a cue for hunger. It wasn’t all bad, this hungry day also enabled me to have some small victories…

  1. got rid of all the candy leftovers in my classroom
  2. named the emotion I was experiencing at the moment
  3. took this pause to reflect and gain composure

So here is my advice to you – be like Bruce, be the boss. Take a beat to decide what happens next when it feels like you might lose control. Thinking it through helps to gain some perspective. Also, sometimes it helps to keep things light don’t take yourself too seriously – feelings pass. In the spirit of being the boss and keeping it light, here is my ridiculous song parody of Hungry Heart…

Got a pang in my empty belly Jack
I went out for some snacks, and I kept comin’ back
In the kitchen now I’m on a mission
Took a wrong turn time for a new decision

My Paraody 🙂

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You Have Arrived

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It was a beautiful morning, the sun was bright, and the clouds seemed extra high up in the atmosphere, framed by a pale blue sky. The world looked a bit more colorful, and plump. Spring has arrived and winter had begun its retreat. I thought about this (on my morning drive to school) heading south on the Sunken Meadow State Parkway,

The radio played the Clash, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” and my thoughts drifted to high school, and I remembered what early freedom felt like, it felt a lot like flying. Just then I began to slow down as my fellow commuters and I merged again over Route 25. Everyone gets to go if we just cooperate. My inner voice chimed in as a red Toyota Celica made its way into my lane.

Once again, my thoughts were diverted and circled around my reading during breakfast. This quote from Atomic Habits captured my imagination, “The cause of your habits is actually the prediction that precedes them. The prediction leads to a feeling.” I often refer to weight loss as a journey. I say this because it’s not only about arriving at my goal weight, it’s about everything I discover about myself along the way. What does arriving even mean to me?

I flipped my visor down, and to the left to shield my eyes from the sun’s glare. Does arriving mean a static number on the scale? Does arriving mean wearing a certain size? Does arriving mean feeling a certain way? “The prediction leads to a feeling…” part of the quote surfaced again. What if I have already arrived? Even though I still have plenty of weight to lose, I feel as though I’m there already.

The repetition of my habits has created some automaticity I don’t have to work so hard to sustain them. That feels a lot like freedom. If the habits I keep, define who I am then I am a person who is vested in her health and well-being. This is who I aspired to be and now I’m actually living my life this way – I have arrived.

Moving from Have to Get

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Imagine a vintage hanging scale with two wire baskets. Inside the left basket is “have to” and inside the right is “get to” they are weighted exactly the same. One side is a mirror image of the other completely aligned in perfect symmetry. Both sides are true, and the only difference is mindset – is a “have to” or a “get to”. Think of these two statements: “I have to wake up at 5:30 am to go to spin class.” or “I get to wake up at 5:330 am to go to spin class.” Reframing that hard habit from a “have to” to a “get to” makes it more desirable, and will be more likely to stick if there is a positive belief system built around it – “I get to…”

How do we reframe a hard habit to make it more desirable? The best way I can describe it is this – it’s like a story you tell yourself. You make it into a true by the actions you take. The positive mindset that follows actually embeds a craving for it to happen.

When I wake up at 5:30 am I get to take care of myself. There is no one to distract me from my workout. I get to spend time strengthening my muscles, and improving my form on the bike. I get to feel good after and take a hot shower to start my day.

This is what reframing a hard habit might sound like
Funny but true in this case

go to spin class.” Reframing that hard habit from a “have to” to a “get to” makes it more desirable, and will be more likely to stick if there is a positive belief system built around it – “I get to…”

How do we reframe a hard habit to make it more desirable? The best way I can describe it is this – it’s like a story you tell yourself. You make it into a true by the actions you take. The positive mindset that follows actually embeds a craving for it to happen.

When I wake up at 5:30 am I get to take care of myself. There is no one to distract me from my workout. I get to spend time strengthening my muscles, and improving my form on the bike. I get to feel good after and take a hot shower to start my day.

This is what reframing a hard habit might sound like
Funny but true in this case

It’s funny, but in this case, it’s also true. What we believe influences our perception. Try it, reframe a hard habit, and see if it helps.

From Believing to Belonging

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It is safe to say that just about everyone on the planet knows weight loss (or maintaining weight loss) is hard. To be successful at this you have to believe in yourself. Say it out loud, “I believe I can do this.” Now, if you have a community of others who not only hear you but also hold the same beliefs in themselves, you are on your way to something very special.

So many of these posts have been dedicated to my Saturday morning Weight Watchers group. Each week, we get up so early (our group meets at 8:15 am) on a Saturday morning to go sit in a Moose Lodge because we all get so much out of it. We share, we learn, and we belong. So many people are wise and generous, compassionate, and really vested in each other’s progress.

How do you make healthy habits stick? One way to help healthy habits stick is to create a robust culture around weight loss, and that makes it super attractive. There are norms, we all count points, we all track our foods, we all weigh and measure portions, and we believe in being accountable by weighing in on a scale. We are a community of people who share these beliefs, and we support each other on the journey.

One reason I blog is to keep that community spark going from Saturday to Saturday. I want to make it a big tent and expand that community to anyone who cares to read these posts. You are not alone, you are one of us, and we can be there to help each other through the rough times, and to celebrate the many successes you are bound to have along the way. I’m so glad you’re here.

Don’t Pick

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Today was a good day but it was not without some struggles:

  • Dave and I went out to lunch, and it was difficult to figure out the points.
  • I worked out and it felt good but it would have been better if it was longer.
  • There are still many cravings for different foods and they annoy me.

I am picking at some negativity, and it’s not all that helpful. But, it’s honest. Weight loss is a winding road, and sometimes it feels like it’s all uphill; but, I’m worth this effort. I hope you believe you are too.

Monkey Brain Strikes Again

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“Wait, how many of these did I eat?” Looking down you see the shiny wrappers of “fun size” (a name crafted by Lucifer himself) candy wrappers in a cheerful pile seemingly indifferent to your dismay. For no rhyme or reason (everything was going great) and then BAM the candy bowl just took you down.

Congratulations, you are human, and we are not born into the world with a blank slate. Our amazing brains come with these basic behaviors that, by design, help us to survive. Evolution is a powerful magnet and for hundreds and thousands of years, human beings have had to hunt and gather food. Imagine early humans scratching and digging in the forests… scarcity is the driver when it came to food. Calorie-dense foods are extremely beneficial when you don’t know where your next meal is coming from. It is human nature to desire foods that are: high in fat, sugar, or salt.

Succumbing to food cravings is certainly not a deficit of character on your part. These cravings are an extremely powerful behavioral response. It is a basic human instinct, so when that internal critic pipes up: “I can’t believe it, I blew it! What’s wrong with me? How could I ruin all my progress by eating…?” First, don’t do that. Second, and hear me, you are amazing and you are human; craving fat, sugar, and salt is truly our nature. However, just because it is written into our DNA doesn’t mean weight gain is written into our fate. Here are some strategies you can try when cravings strike:

  • Being aware of the reason why these cravings come out of nowhere is powerful. Now that you know it is part of being human to crave these foods when we come across them in our environments we can de-escalate the impulse.
  • Being mindful while eating these kinds of foods slows us down. Experience eating the food, and enjoy it. Set a limit for how much you’ll eat.
  • Be strategic – if you can’t de-escalate and you don’t trust yourself to be mindful of limits, then avoid it altogether. Stop the craving (that we all have for unhealthy foods) before it can start. Limit those foods in your environment, and if you can’t remove yourself from the situation.

For better or for worse, we are a product of all that came before us – so expect powerful cravings in your future. Even when you give into the natural predisposition to overeat unhealthy foods it doesn’t mean that it’s the beginning of the end of your weight loss journey. It’s a moment, what happens next is what really matters, and (the good news) you are the one who gets to decide what happens on your weight loss journey.

Small Successes

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There were a few challenges today.

  • Bagels, danish, and muffins
  • Rolls, candy, and cake
  • Workout routines were upset
  • Husband snacking

This is how it went:

  • I ate breakfast at home – that made it easier to say no
  • I ate the fruit plate mindfully and then enjoyed conversations at the table
  • I was flexible with my workout and was appreciative of how I felt after
  • I considered if I was really hungry and decided to say, “No thanks.” Saying no is a powerful thing.

There are days when it seems one issue pops up after the next. Knowing how to cope with each, without getting overwhelmed is a fantastic feeling. I am grateful for this weight loss journey. I am grateful that my body is resilient. I am grateful to have this space to honor my efforts. If you’ve worked hard at weight loss, then you understand how important these small successes are.

All of Us

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There are so many of us that have either, weight-loss or fitness goals. I went to a meeting after school, and some of the teachers were talking about how they are working on losing weight. I had a conversation with a friend on my drive to work, and we talked all about how she is working on recovering from a procedure. As part of her recovery, she has set very tangible walking goals. There seems to be a constant desire for a healthier version of ourselves. Why is this? We are just trying to make the most of what we have, better health improves the overall quality of life.

So as you pursue your goals, make sure you show yourself love, patience, and compassion. Weight loss and fitness goals take time and a lot of commitment on your part. If you’ve found a way to make this work – then you’ve already done what so many are still trying to achieve. If it hasn’t clicked yet, honor your efforts so far, you are giving your health and well-being the attention it deserves. If you have accomplished your goals and are working to maintain your current level of health – bravo! Know that you inspire all of us who are working to get to where you are right now. I guess this post is trying to convey that you should always be good to yourself because this is a long journey one that has a destination that is forever on the horizon.

Inside Out

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Let it be known that the Traveling Wiburys is the greatest of all supergroups. And this song, Inside Out, in particular, makes me happy any time I hear it. Look at the musicians they completely inhabit their joy as they play. Whatever little step you can take that brings you joy, is a step in the right direction. Weight loss is a long process. You’re going to feel different on the inside before it shows on the outside. That is where I am at these days. But I know, change is on the way, all I need to do is to stay the course and look for the good. Fully experiencing joy along the way, shifts the journey in a profound way. When we experience joy, we no longer need stamina. So, when you think of joy, consider it as a welcome relief to the work that weight loss requires of us.

Beliefs About Body Image

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Spinning requires good form. In order to get the most out of the workout, and to avoid injury, holding positions (correctly) on the bike really matter. When COVID hit, I moved away from my gym membership and bought a Peloton. I love my bike, it gives me as good a workout as I got at my local gym. Although, my gym offered a terrific community and I do miss the people. But that is a post for another time… I tend to select classes with explicit instructions for form, and I realized that I needed a mirror to help me make sure I was keeping my back flat, and my elbows bent. The mirror helped, and my form is much better these days. But now, I also get a full view of my profile sitting on the bike. There is a definite disconnect between how I am feeling on the inside, “Go me! I am keeping up, even though it’s really difficult!” and how I look on the outside, “Is that what I really look like?” Then I knew that today’s post had to be dedicated to beliefs about body image.

Ugh… Body image can be a challenge for most people at some point. The other day at work, some friends were talking about how hard weight loss is, the sentiment of the conversation went like this,

You know that you’re doing so good, and it doesn’t show for such a long time. It takes so much work before it starts to show. You feel so good inside but then you look the same. It’s so discouraging.

a lunchtime chat

I was thinking about what my friends said, as my internal critic was hammering my appearance. I put my hands on my abdomen and I actually started feeling sorry for my poor body. This is the body that carried three beautiful human beings into the world. This is the body that made it possible for me to get my degree. This is the body that gave my mother a shoulder to lean on when she was sick. It has served me so well, and I have neglected it so badly and allowed myself to gain back weight. Although I’m not starting completely over, I didn’t gain it all back, it’s difficult just the same.

This is hard, but hating on my body image isn’t helpful. Hating my body is an unforgivable, petty thing to do to myself. I am truly grateful for my strong, capable body. I am trying to be worthy of it by giving it the care and attention it needs so I can continue to live my life. No matter where you are on the journey, I encourage you to love your body and to allow yourself to flood it with gratitude for all that it is to sustain your life. Be patient, stay the course, and just be good to yourself every step of the way.