You Have Arrived

It was a beautiful morning, the sun was bright, and the clouds seemed extra high up in the atmosphere, framed by a pale blue sky. The world looked a bit more colorful, and plump. Spring has arrived and winter had begun its retreat. I thought about this (on my morning drive to school) heading south on the Sunken Meadow State Parkway,

The radio played the Clash, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” and my thoughts drifted to high school, and I remembered what early freedom felt like, it felt a lot like flying. Just then I began to slow down as my fellow commuters and I merged again over Route 25. Everyone gets to go if we just cooperate. My inner voice chimed in as a red Toyota Celica made its way into my lane.

Once again, my thoughts were diverted and circled around my reading during breakfast. This quote from Atomic Habits captured my imagination, “The cause of your habits is actually the prediction that precedes them. The prediction leads to a feeling.” I often refer to weight loss as a journey. I say this because it’s not only about arriving at my goal weight, it’s about everything I discover about myself along the way. What does arriving even mean to me?

I flipped my visor down, and to the left to shield my eyes from the sun’s glare. Does arriving mean a static number on the scale? Does arriving mean wearing a certain size? Does arriving mean feeling a certain way? “The prediction leads to a feeling…” part of the quote surfaced again. What if I have already arrived? Even though I still have plenty of weight to lose, I feel as though I’m there already.

The repetition of my habits has created some automaticity I don’t have to work so hard to sustain them. That feels a lot like freedom. If the habits I keep, define who I am then I am a person who is vested in her health and well-being. This is who I aspired to be and now I’m actually living my life this way – I have arrived.

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