For What It’s Worth…

Today a teacher’s assistant made a joke that maybe I should gain some weight. Yes, that happened. I don’t think she meant to be insensitive, sometimes people don’t realize how their words may be received. I include myself in that crowd. I’m sure if you were to go through my posts, you’d find things that could be misinterpreted. Words are powerful. Sharing my story is one way I was able to get to goal and achieve Lifetime status. Now it’s an important part of how I manage maintenance. This is where I try to be completely honest about how it’s going.

So… how’s it going?

I’ve been struggling lately, I have found myself picking at food and not tracking. Eating some foods that are not helpful and tend to make me hungrier. For example, I love cereal but it’s not a good food choice for me. I’ve been finding myself in the kitchen on the hunt for something to eat when I’m not really hungry. It’s only just recently over the past few days, that I’ve been able to turn it around. I’m tracking and I’m rolling over points. I’m being thoughtful about what I eat and how much. I’m working on being mindful and that helps a lot.

I guess I’m learning not to be so fixed with my story and to just be open to what is really happening now. I can do this, I can do this. I can do this. So can you.

Consider This…

I was running an errand today, and I noticed some people who had a lot of weight to lose. The warmer weather is on the way, and being overweight or obese in the hotter months can be brutal. I couldn’t help but to think about how grateful I am to have lost the weight. Then I thought about how easily it an be put back on. Everything comes down to a choice. A choice to follow the program and stay in engaged, or a choice to return back to old habits. It’s not really possible to unsee the damage old habits can cause. As I think about the upcoming week, I have to consider all of this. Maintaining weight loss is a forever story, and I am happy to have to space to share my version of that story with you.

Getting Grounded…

Understanding why weight loss is so important is the one thing that separates long lasting success from a temporary victory. Weight loss is too hard to maintain unless there is a real and meaningful reason to keep at it. The conversation this morning was very honest and real, and it is really making me think.

I listened very carefully and I heard four categories of people on the journey:

  • WW Mavins – Erin became Lifetime! Go Erin! She shared her strategy of keeping peanut butter cups in the freezer to have on hand when she needs one. She also shared about going out for dessert and not keeping that food in the house. She is a fan of the Schmidt 647 Italian bread (as I am). Having this bread on hand helps because it offers a full sized sandwich that is more substantial for 2 sp. Members like Erin are flying high and feeling amazing because accomplishing this goal is a life changer.
  • Motivated Mamas – Lorraine shared how how she is finding new ways to keep her food interesting and satisfying One new thing to try, she is using Better’n Peanut Butter at 1sp per serving it sounds very promising. Members like Lorraine are in the I can do it phase and are doing just that – they are both inspiring to others as as they can be perplexing. They seem to have figured out something that can be so elusive to others.

It’s easy to use names when people are successful or feeling strong, now I’m just going share profiles I notice. These members are heroic to me because I understand in a deep and personal way what they’re going through.

  • Foxhole Fighters – Other members are in survival mode. They are fighting the weight loss or maintenance battle and don’t know if they will win or lose. They are fatigued and worn out. They attend the workshop, they share, and they are in a very real sense phoning in for backup. Members like these are in a tenuous situation – this phase may either lead to a comeback or a setback. These members inspire me because they are fighters. Even though this is hard, they are fighting the battle and that is really quite remarkable.
  • Nay Nays – Some members are beaten to the point that they have almost given up on weight loss. They come to the workshop but inside they aren’t convinced this will ever work. They start to say things like, “This program just doesn’t work for me.” When people say that, I believe them. I believe them because who can blame someone for feeling this way. The most amazing thing about these members is they keep coming. They come because inside there is still some hope that they can turn things around.

I can describe these phases because I’ve experienced each one. The thing that pulls me to one over the other is the proximity to my “why” and how deftly I am able to grow my #willpower. This post, is dedicated to my #why and #willpower. Here is a quote from my updated page #Why:

Being on Maintenance has taught me to appreciate and value willpower. I used think that willpower was the thing that made weight loss unsustainable and that it made this journey more about struggle than joy. I was wrong. Now I think that my willpower is like the fuel and my why is like the motor.

Jenn Hayhurst #Why

I’m glad you’re reading my post. I’m glad that you are on this journey. No matter what phase you’re in be grateful that you’re in it. You are not unconscious to the issue – you’re in it and dealing with it. If you need to refuel your willpower or tune up your why. You can do it.

How You See It…

My featured image was from Saturday. Saturday was full of blue skies and leisurely walks through the park. It was bright and cheerful and I felt free to do as I pleased. Today was full of commuting in the rain, gloomy weather that was unseasonably cold. By the time I got home I was soaked. I can focus on the bad, or I can focus on the good. Either way, I think it’s important that I acknowledge them both.

This reminds me to remember there are good days and bad days on the journey. What I elect to focus on will help me to shape my attitude. I had a good day on plan, I’m signed up for spin, I believe in me. That’s how I see it.

Part of Me…

Mother’s Day is here and I am thinking about what it means to be a good mom. I can only go back to what I know, and what I know about mothering goes back to my own experiences with my mother. I had a great mom, and I miss her everyday. I miss her humor, her laugh, her advice, and I miss how she made me feel. Even when she was critical of my judgment I knew it coming from a place of perfect love. More often than not she was right – she was both smart and beautiful.

I don’t remember my mom taking time out to care of herself. That doesn’t mean she didn’t, it means it was not something I noticed. I hope she did practice self-care. I wish I knew more about that part of her life because, sometimes, when I find myself running for cover and trying to find time for me I feel a little guilty. Just writing that down, I know it would really have upset my mom, she wouldn’t want that for me at all. She was my faithful and absolute advocate. I just wish I had seen more of that in her.

My mother quit smoking because she promised her mom that she would, but she never achieved her own weight loss goals. If that was something she really wanted for herself (I suspect it was) then I wish she could have figured it out. We all deserve to live our lives in the body of our best selves. So as much as we can control anything in our lives the decision to eat in a healthy way and to get enough activity is something within our power. Doing it may be difficult – the thing is we have to think about if it’s worth it. Obviously, for me it is and that’s why this space exists. This blog is here to be my testimony on the journey.

Unfortunately, my mom passed away before seeing me accomplish my weight loss goal. When she died I was still struggling, so she’ll never know. That is so sad because she would have really loved knowing that I was able to accomplish this. If she were able to hear me, this is what I’d say to her,

“Mom, I did it I lost the weight. It was really hard to do, until I figured out why I wanted to do it. I’m so blessed for everything you’ve done for me because that has made me the kind of person who could do this. I love you so.”

Mother’s Day 2019

Life on Maintenance….

Maintenance is an ongoing endeavor that requires care and attention. I realize this will be like an ongoing practice that I will be be working at for the rest of my life. I’m ok with that. I would rather do this than live my life 93 pounds heavier.

While I may be battling within a five pound range of where I would like to be, it’s nothing compared to what I’ve already accomplished. I’m learning that when I overindulge one day, I have to eat leaner the next. Again, easier said than done – but the essential thing is that it can be done.

So whether you are in the “I’m on track and losing weight” phase or the “I’m trying to get back on track to losing” phase or “I’m just trying to hold steady” or even, “I am unhappy with my results” phase you are ok. Please know whatever phase, know that no matter what, you are worthy of personal happiness and self-love. It’s all up to you.