Revisiting Success…

This post was from August 24, 2018 – it’s good read my own words and think about my journey…

The day before weigh-in is here and I’m pretty sure I will go up on the scale tomorrow.  This was a challenging week because I felt the pull of old habits,

  •  wanting to turn to food after having stressful encounters.
  •  strong food cravings for ice cream, and pizza.
  •  picking at foods and thinking about not tracking.

Any of these could have triggered for old habits. That is why it is important that I take some time for reflection and self-care. It all comes down to food, activity, and feelings.

Screen Shot 2018-08-24 at 2.11.55 PM

Food: I exceeded my weekly points balance. I was craving sugar for most of this week. I think it’s because I overindulged at my nephew’s party. I ate sugary foods and that’s not typical for me anymore. Over the course of the week, I ate two and a quarter of those delicious scones. At the party, I ate a quarter of one, then I ate a whole one on Monday, and the last one, Tuesday. Also, during the party, I ate two small pieces of cake. Then I had a slice (2 ounces) of cake last night for my husband’s birthday.  I did track it all, so that’s how I know I’m over my weekly allotment of extra points.

Activity: I went to spin class two days this week: Sunday and Thursday.  The classes were really good and I am feeling much stronger. I also did yoga two times, Monday, and Friday. Yoga is very good for me because it is making me feel more flexible, strong, and balanced. I love that I enjoy doing these activities and that doing them, is becoming part of my self-identity. I am also enjoying the Polar Heart Monitor I got for my birthday. It is a tool that is helping me to work way more efficiently and it gives me great insight for training while making me more self-aware.

Feelings: Right now, I feel really empowered. I saw the potential to fall back into old habits before it actually happened. I saw it coming and went in a different direction.  I elected not to turn to food when feeling stressed. That’s a big deal. I tracked, weighed and measured all the foods I ate. There was not unconscious eating, I tracked even when I didn’t want to face it. That’s a big deal too. I disrupted my habit loop. So, even if I go up on the scale tomorrow, I learned something vital. I am in control of me.

There is no mystery or superstition at play here. There are only my choices.  My choices that are rooted in my “why”. I am doing all of this so I can feel good about myself physically and mentally. I want to grow wiser about who I really am living an energetic lifestyle. It is very important to me that I enter this next phase of my life with a sense of grace and gratitude for the body that got me here.  Thank you for listening to my story. I encourage you to write yours as well because it really does help. Wishing you joy on the journey.


DAY 23: Revisit (and do) an activity that you loved as a child, whether it is finger painting, playing a sport or a video game, Rollerblading, or twirling.

Hands down, it’s riding my bicycle.  I’m going for a bike ride at some point today!


True Stories & the Stories We Tell…

The stories I tell myself can either build me up or tear me down. I had an excellent day on plan. I kept my goal close to me and tracked everything I ate. I am in control and can do this (even though some times it’s very difficult). There are all kinds of true stories surrounding my weight loss journey – true stories of defeat and success. The story that is the most important is the one where I never ever give up. I am going to keep at this, for the rest of my life, because I want to live my life in the best health I can. I enjoy having energy, and the sense of confidence my weight loss has given me. I’m more confident because I feel more like I used to feel, before the weight gain, and that feeling makes the work that maintenance requires seem like a fair trade. I’m resilient I can dig deep and keep going because that is who I choose to be. That’s my story.

Setting Goals & Making a Plan…

  1. The goal is to track the food I eat.
  2. I will start on Monday, and track each day until Saturday.
  3. Every time I eat I will record it in my tracker.
  4. I am going to track everything I eat.
  5. Every time I eat something the next thing I will do is to record it my tracker.
  6. I will think about my goal every day.

Balance is Not a Destination…

Self-discovery never looks as profound on the screen as it is in the experience but this was a profound moment. I have uncovered another facet of this journey.

The other day I was testing incoming Kindergarteners. I asked each child to build a tower of cubes and then I had to count how many of the twelve they could balance before the tower either fell or was dismantled. One clever child put two and three cubes on the the tower at a time. She was the most efficient builder – maybe she’s a future engineer!

Northport Harbor Sunset May 2019

Finding balance is a funny thing, it’s not a permanent way of being. It’s shifting and repositioning, adjusting and pausing – finding balance requires deliberate movement and strategy. Once it is achieved it is not a permanent state of being – eventually it falls or is taken down. In many ways, we are all trying to build a tower. Our cubes to balance are health, family, career, finance, friendships, politics, charity, and so on. As we yes, or no to these things we are stacking our cubes, and our towers either stand or fall.

Lately, I have been finding it difficult to coordinate my weight loss/ maintenance goals with my life. For so long I have been able to strike the balance that has made this journey possible. What comes with that are these states of disequilibrium. There have been periods of time, like now, where I can’t seem to catch it – balance eludes me and my “tower” falls. Yesterday was the turning point, I said yes to my health so I could say no to the old habits (overeating) that used to help me deal with stress. I found my balance.

Spring, Northport, May 2019

Self-discovery never looks as profound on the screen as it is in the experience but this was a profound moment. I have uncovered another facet of this journey. I was able to look at myself in a very open and objective way. In other words I saw myself free from excuses or avoidance, instead of looking away I leaned in and paid attention to what I was doing and why I was doing it. I have been overeating to avoid stress and that’s not really helping me. It’s so true that you can’t unsee something, once you know it’s there. In my case I could see the old behavior for what it was and so I was able to turn it off. I rolled over 6 SmartPoints and had a satisfying day on plan.

My last words to you today are, don’t beat yourself up. Be kind, and you should expect to see your “tower” come cashing down because striking a balance on this journey can be daunting. However, keep rebuilding because each time you do you’ll learn something new and important about who you are. You can do it, I believe in you.

A Little Help…

I have to remember that this journey is the rest of my life. The journey is also the destination. It’s been really difficult over the past few days, but I’m not alone. I keep thinking about what it means to call out to another, “A little help?” Then the ball is tossed, it’s caught and usually with smiles. The thing is the asking for and the giving of help is cathartic. I am so grateful for my community because this is too hard to do alone.