Month: December 2017

Before school…

I began my day at 5:15 am Spin class, and I have to say it was earlier than that because if you can fathom this, there are people who are “Waitlisted” and if you are not signed in and a bike you can lose your spot! I am very happy I’m taking this time for myself:

After school…

I donned my Spock ears, a Santa hat, and some really festive knee socks and volunteered as one of Santa’s elves after school with The Lighthouse Mission. This organization brings Christmas to needy families in the form of new toys, clothing, stocking stuffers, and anything else you can imagine.

This was my station.

I smile as I imagine children opening up their gifts on Christmas morning.  Everyone was part of making this a reality, all us the volunteers and families who came together to make Christmas a happy day for children.

I did well on plan – I used a total of 14sp (crazy right)? I was famished on my ride back home after volunteering. I enjoyed linguini with spagegghti squash it was delicious.

It was another gorgeous sky day  it was breathtaking  – just beautiful:

On day 109 this happened…

My husband and I were out doing some Christmas shopping. Awash under the harsh fluorescent store lights, with my mind racing, as I thought about everything that still has to get done in preparation for the holiday, “You look thinner.” He said and shook his head up and down with that flirty smile that made me fall in love with him. “Looking good.” For a moment everything drifted away and I smiled back and there in the middle of Michael’s we stole a kiss amidst the paints, canvases, and easels.

It’s not so much what he said, although, I am trying to lose weight here, the reason why this moment was a touching one is the deep connection we share. He knows how much dedication and effort it takes to get to goal. He knows how much stress I’m under. He knows everything about me – obviously, I’m an open book.  My wish is that everyone has someone who knows all your secrets, frailties, and foibles and loves and supports you – because all of those things contribute to who you are.

This little moment was an unexpected holiday gift, and I’m so glad I didn’t miss it. Just remember there is beauty in our imperfections, and that’s all part of the journey.

This holiday season, I find myself thinking about expressions of love. So it will seem strange that I would be thinking about love and the LIE. You see, I have a long commute to work, and I don’t enjoy driving.  The Long Island Expressway or the LIE is indeed very long, flat, and crowded.

Christmas music kept me company as I drove to work this morning and as I sang along alone in my minivan, I thought about all the others passing me by. A work truck, an SUV, another minivan (yes we are everywhere)… I felt a connection to them all. Here we all are, doing what we have to do, heading out into the world to do the best we can for the people we love. Even though it’s a commonplace thing to do, it is also a shared experience one that is bound by commitment and (hopefully) love.

Even though I am sure he would rather not be on a ladder at the end of his workday here he is doing this for us. This is love.

This may seem strange but I think it’s really important to honor yourself.  As I go through my weight loss journey, I think it’s important for me to honor and appreciate the things I do every day for the people I love. I think it’s also important to honor my rituals for self-care: making my lunch, prepping my vegetables, going to Spin Class, laying out my clothes, even using sunscreen. Strange, because in the past those are things I just took for granted, of course, I get into my car and make the commute, of course, I make my lunch, and… well, you get the picture. Now I think about these things differently, if I want to be there for my loved ones I have to be there for myself too.

These are all my thoughts, and in many ways, they are paths to self-discovery as I go through this journey. Wherever you are in this process, I hope you are appreciating all that you are and all that you give every day.

My friend celebrated her birthday yesterday and her mom made her Ambrosia.  I had mentioned to her that I hadn’t eaten that in many years, and when she came to work today, she brought me some:

It was really quite good, and while it did throw off my lunch plans. I ended up taking home most of the lunch I had packed. I am pretty proud of myself because eating this didn’t sabotage my day. I tracked it at 8sp and felt happy about my choice.

Making choices, and being happy about my choices is a big step forward for me. Anyway, this is what I’m thinking about today. I hope you had a great day and are moving closer and closer to your goals.

Sometimes, I read words that ring true on a personal level and that happened to me this morning while scrolling through some facebook posts:

I see so much of myself in Geralyn’s words, because I know I will be more successful if I have a community to learn with. When you do the work the weight comes off and that is FABULOUS! However, that’s not the only benefit of the journey. I believe what I’m about to write is true for us all, we are all discovering why we are on the journey, and what we have to do to reach our goals.

If your reading my post, and are thinking about whether you ought to join Weight Watchers or start making some healthy changes in your life, I would tell you, “Go for it!”  You are the leader of your own life:

I am on a journey to change my life so I am dedicating myself to:

1. Being my brave self
2. Being present showing up and doing the work
3. Believing in my own personal power
4. Believing in the power of community
5. Learning about my #why with wild abandon
6. Learning from my past failures
7. Discovering beauty every day everywhere
8. Discovering joy with a “beginner’s mind”
9. Embracing the journey no matter what
10. Embracing my goal and keeping it close

I am keeping these words close to me because I believe that words have the power to transform us all. Words start movements. Words wake us up to possibilities. Words enlighten and inspire.

One last note of thanks. Thank you, Gerlyn and Kimberly for sharing your words with the world so I could find my own.

Weigh-in day! I lost another 2.4 pounds!  I am very happy with my progress. This makes a total of 46.8 pounds  I am 3.2 pounds away from 50 pounds gone.  I believe that Weight Watcher’s #Freestyle Plan is going to be the plan to help me get to goal. As I transition from Smartpoints to Freestyle I am learning how to make the program work for me. 

Dinner 4sp

Breakfast adding in vegtables

Breakfast 1sp

Hard Boiled Eggs & Spaghetti Squash

Even though today was a cold and gray December day I was able to find so much beauty in the world.  I walked around my town, fully present at that moment, and that was when I realized that devotion was being revealed to me over and over:

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Acts of devotion reveal grace to the world. Having a sense of devotion to yourself is not selfish, it is self-care.  So often we devote ourselves to our families, friends, careers, or causes. I think, that if we deny devotion to ourselves we are missing something important. Just being here is a profound gift, and to honor that gift devotion has to begin with ourselves so we can be the best possible version of ourselves for those we love the most.

Anyway, this is something I thought about today, and it has given me a bigger perspective on things, this journey is something to be honored. Let that begin with you, and I’ll do the same. Together we can get to goal.

This is the last day of my first full week on the #Freestyle plan. I am still getting used to the difference between the points system. My top three observations:

1. More nonfat greek yogurt, instead of a half serving I eat the full one (227 gms)
2. No oatmeal this week. Yes, I know I can have it if I want it but I’m trying to see how eating the zero point foods feels
3. More cautious about higher point foods or drinks

I used my crock pot so when I came home dinner was essentially ready. I really enjoyed the meal. Pot Roast with potatoes and carrots, a crunchy dinner roll. I find that I, generally, enjoy my food much more living on the plan:

I don’t know what the scale will read tomorrow. Even though, I know that it’s not about the number, and I believe that to be true for me, I still can’t shake that longing to just get to goal quicker. Know what I mean?  I feel a little worried that the expenditure of my efforts won’t meet my preconceived expectations for my results on the scale. These are some things I’m thinking about – so I think it’s important to capture these thoughts here.

So, what I have I learned this week? Even though there were many stressful moments I didn’t turn to food. I treated my feelings, as a sensation, as though I  were experiencing them: fear, frustration, or disappointment. Then I tried to figure out the root causes for them, acknowledged them, and then I was able to let them go.

There is beauty all around us. Outside the world is turning white as gusts of icy wind carry the snow across the landscape just as it did the leaves in the autumn. Inside the Christmas tree glows warmly in contrast to the darkness and cold.  Even though I realize I have so much to learn, I feel nothing but gratitude for this journey. Thank you for reading.

Today was about my son, David. He is a student of Nokado and he moved up to his blue belt. As his sensei says, “Blue for the ocean and all the dangers that lie beneath.”  Martial Arts is all about discipline (physical and mental), respect, and skill.  I had many proud mama moments tonight. I just love that he loves it:

My son and his sensei

Belt Promotion Ceremony

At the end of the evening, everyone was shaking my and husband’s hand and congratulating us because our son had done something very difficult. It was clear to both of us that the members of the dojo really knew him. Again, I was reminded of the importance of having a supportive community. More than that, having a sense of happiness and gratification and dare I say, joy.

Is your weight loss journey joyful? Do you have a supportive community? The best news is that it’s there for you if you want it. I hope you had a good day, and if you didn’t, I’m sorry and let’s just work on it some more tomorrow.

Living life on plan means a lot of dedication to small details. It may seem overwhelming at first because there are certain things you have to do for yourself if you want to be successful. Actually, I have found it comforting to practice these small rituals like packing my breakfast and lunch, pre-tracking my meals, and writing these posts.  all of it keeps me deeply connected to my #why:

Breakfast and lunch 4sp

Writing is a great outlet.

I hope you are enjoying this holiday season. I hope you are in a good place with your own journey. Building a supportive community is a wonderful gift you can give to yourself,  This is a big gut-wrenching goal and yes we can achieve it – together.

I am so happy to be home. The house looks lovely now that it’s decorated for the holidays. Sadie, my constant companion, is nestled in next to me sleeping peacefully. This was the kind of day that would have been easy to say, “Forget this, I need to treat myself.” Meaning, a bag of chips, or some cookies, or a glass of wine, or… Any of these choices would have the potential to undermine my progress.

My point is, 101 days on the journey and I was able to avoid this entirely because I know what I really want – I want to get to goal. Knowing makes it easier to maintain my resolve. Asking myself these two questions, “What do I want? Why do I want that?” It’s the answers to those questions that are making the difference.

I am getting used to #Freestyle. So far, I have used 16sp and  I have a Weekly Remaining balance of 43sp with “rollover points”.  My supportive husband knew that I was spent after working and running errands after work and then working after work. See the pattern? work work work… bought pizza for him and the kids and for me…

I will probably use another 2sp for Dark Chocolate Jello (very yummy and not as sweet as some others) with mixed berries and a serving of Rediwhip.  I’m already getting used to the new program. It’s not really that different than before. One thing I can say is that it’s influencing my choices. Like today, instead of having oatmeal for 3sp for breakfast, I had nonfat greek yogurt for 0sp instead. The thing is I can’t let the points get too distracting and I know that I’m the kind of person who needs variety. Anyway, I am curious to see how it will impact my results on my weigh-in day.

So that’s all for now. I hope you are in a good place wherever you are in your weight loss journey. Just know that you are not alone and your belief in yourself is mighty. Yes, you can do this.