Month: December 2017

My featured image captures the last setting sun of 2017.  This post is dedicated to beginnings and endings. I began this journey (in earnest) in September 2017 and so much has changed since then.

On our way home.

Beiatofi; sly

The moon rising

I have grown stronger in the belief that 2018 will be the year that I get to goal. Why is this so important? It’s important because if I only have this one life I want to spend it in the best health possible. I am doing this to get my energy back and to feel like, well, me. If I could do so many difficult things in my life, why not this?

Things are changing for me: my workouts have been more rigorous; I’m wearing my size 10 jeans, and I am really enjoying cooking new recipes. I am able to say no to some foods and without any regret. I am more strategic with my planning. A New Year’s tradition in our house is to have hors-d’oeuvres for dinner. I planned on veggies with yogurt dip, shrimp cocktail, fresh fruit, and an egg roll. My family had other things too that I didn’t have but I’m ok with that:

I love my spin shoes.

1 sp for the cocktail sauce

Just made it to spin.

0sp

5 sp

I love my family so much – there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them. I love my brothers and sister and their families – again, I would do anything for them. I love my friends and am grateful to have them in my life. I am so fortunate to be a teacher – I love teaching.

This journey is for me. an extension of love for myself and it’s taken me a while to realize that it isn’t selfish to think that way.  This is true for me, and it’s true for you too. Come on, 2018 let’s make this the best year yet. I know can do this, and I’d love you to join me. Let’s make 2018 the year we get to goal! 

Whenever you embark on a journey you do so with the understanding that there may be times when you have to stop and ask for directions.  You are driving along and all of sudden, the road is so unfamiliar and you’re just not sure that you are headed in the right direction. That is how I feel right now, I went up this week (full disclosure 2.4 pounds) and that makes me pretty upset.

I could wine and go over all the details about why I “should” not have gone up. How I tracked, I worked out, I passed on foods because I was keeping my goal front and center… But, who would want to read that? Not me either.

So, here goes, what’s next? I am going to focus on what I can control. I can:

1. dust myself off and get up and keep making great choices.
2. go food shopping and buy a variety of healthy foods.
3. go to spin class – enjoy it – and feel stronger each time.
4. try some new recipes so that I don’t feel deprived.
5. be honest about my disappointment and move on.

That’s all for today. I will keep going and I hope you will too. This is difficult and that’s why so many people give up. Let’s be the exception to the rule and keep at it. That’s my plan, but it would be better to have some good company. So I say to you,  “Come on… let’s get moving into 2018 – the year we all make it to GOAL.”

It’s been so cold here that Northport Harbor has started to freeze over.  Even though the weather is so frigid, I find these days exhilarating.

I noticed a physical change today. When my husband bought me this jacket back in October it just fit, and I was very excited about that because it’s an XLG Northface jacket (no more 1x or 2x) that was a huge celebration for me:

Now I can wear a bulky insulated zip-up sweatshirt, and my nice new long scarf under it with room to spare. That is really remarkable.

I’ve been monitoring my internal external hunger signs as part of my post-holiday recovery strategy and I realized that I was very hungry when I was out with my husband running errands today. That is when he said, “Would you mind if we stop at McDonald’s so I can get a couple of McChicken Sandwiches?”  He is very supportive and doesn’t want to throw me off plan. But I am not some sensitive snowflake, and Weight Watchers promises us that we can lose weight and still live our lives. Off we went and this was my choice…

Since the switchover to #Freestyle, I’ve been a little leery of certain foods.  Like, in the past, I’ve eaten Organic Quacker Regular oatmeal (3sp) with fruit and nuts.  I have been avoiding starting my day with points. That, I’ve decided is a mistake. I think that when I start thinking that way, I make this more about a diet than a lifestyle. See what I mean #Freestyle is meant to be a #Lifestyle change. So I did start my day with a favorite breakfast:

I had meatloaf for dinner (7sp as per the recipe builder) with mashed potatoes, peas and onions, carrots and some sauteed mushrooms. I did pass on the dinner rolls though.

Online Conversations That Inspire Me…

I want to give a shout out to @gunnerrules from my #connectcommunity. She posted this:

Check out this great reflection!

I hope to be there with you in 2018!

I love the way she reflected on her progress. She is a woman who just gets it – this is a journey and there is always a reason to celebrate growth. Even if you’re not at goal – yet. I hope her story inspires you as much as it did me. My last words for today are, look for the light, look for the good, hang with the positive people they make the journey a happier one. We are truly #strongertogether.

My featured image of my dashboard at 4:50 am this morning is like a badge of honor. Yes, I did get up and go to spin class this morning. I left my warm bed and braved the cold (13 degrees) to work out with other like-minded people. Now that it’s over I feel happy and good. It was a rough in the moment though – the trick is to just keep moving out the door without thinking about it too much.

I rewarded myself by coming home and jumping back into bed and sleeping in. Then I had a delicious breakfast with my hubby.

1 sp and so satisfying!

Looking for beauty in the morning sky.

A special gift for me.

This is the last Thursday of December and Oprah is asking…

“How was your December? Let’s check in!” – @connectingwithoprah

The wonderful thing about blogging every day is that you can look back on your life with great clarity and detail:

• I see that I started this month on a sour note because, December 1, 2017, (day 90) was a rotten day for me.  Yet I handled it and still stayed on plan.
• While on December 9, 2017, (day 98) I learned about #Freestyle. Then my sister and I got to visit with our awesome cousin Diane who was in NYC on business. It happened to be #santacon (which was pretty funny) and we reconnected through our shared stories and future plans. That was a great day!
• On December 17, 2017 (day 106) I found inspiration from other members that prompted me to write my own top ten dedication list.
• Finally, my resolve to reach goal was tested just yesterday, December 27, 2017  (day 116) and I was able to face it and decided to keep going.

So much of this journey stems from the thought process – that comes first then the personal action to make a change.

December is almost in the books. Looking back on this month is as important to me as looking forward. This is my journey and it is made up of millions of steps. When I achieve my goal, I will have done something amazing. Something, that others may only dream of – but really, anyone can do it it just takes persistence and a positive worldview that it can, in fact, be done.

Followup – here is the recipe for yesterday. I highly recommend it!

No matter how far I seem to progress on this journey, it seems that falling into old habits is something that requires ongoing effort. Yesterday was a difficult day for me, and it makes sense because the two prior days involved eating rich foods and eating more than I’ve been eating over the past four months.

Yet two days of overindulging make me feel like I’m losing ground.  How can that be? Maybe it’s because I’ve been here before; maybe it’s because I’m afraid of going back to my unhealthy ways; maybe it’s because there is some kind of addiction to unhealthy foods. The reason doesn’t really matter as much as what needs to be done next.

Here is my plan for the day…

• Go to spin class
• Make breakfast
• Find a recipe for tonight’s dinner
• Go food shopping
• Organize my kitchen
• Monitor my hunger signs

It’s days like these that are really important. These are the days where I can turn one way or another. The days when I feel fragile or like I’m starting to slip up because these are points in the journey that have the potential to shake my resolve. I don’t know if any of you can relate to this? But I feel it – this is a big deal for me.

A Little While Later… Some signs I’m on the right track (if you believe in that kind of thing)

Sometimes inspiration and encouragement come from out of the blue. On my way to the gym, I heard a song that really spoke to me in the moment, by Jimmy Eat The World called “The Middle” Particularly these words,

“Hey
You know they’re all the same
You know you’re doing better on your own so don’t buy in
Live right now
Just be yourself
It doesn’t matter if that’s good enough for someone else.”

Thank you! Then when I came home, a perfect recipe showed up in the mail:

I really appreciated this breakfast after spin.

A perfect recipe came in the mail. BTW WW I’m already a member!

I’m going to keep working at this, and someday I will get to goal. You can do it too, so come on we can do this together. More tomorrow…

The day after Christmas was dedicated to saying goodbye. We spent the majority of the day packing up years of memories in boxes shipping them out to Buffalo, Syracuse, Millwalki, and Northport.  The contents of my in-laws’ lives have been spread out and taken in by the rest of us.  Today marks the end of an era:

It was strange to see all the empty rooms, knowing that I would not be back there again. As we close out 2017 I am struck by how many things have changed this year. I am grateful for having my family, friends, and especially my husband as I live my crazy life.

So, if we have this one life to live – I think it’s really important to examine what it is we want to accomplish. My personal goal for weight loss may seem like a minor thing to some people- but the more I think about it the more I realize that it’s really not. This is my body, the one I get for my whole lifetime, I want to keep it in the best shape possible for as long as I can. Yes, it is hard to lose weight and keep it off but there is no reason why I can’t do this.

This little bush is filled with birds.

It was bitterly cold but so vivid.

Beautiful sky driving down the road last night.

See the bird?

The water looks so blue.

I am glad Christmas is over, it was challenging to stay within my points. I did eat and drink but now I’m glad that’s done. I did miss spin class today, but I booked a class for tomorrow morning so I feel really good about that.

As we look to 2018 let’s do as John and Yoko suggest – “Let’s hope it’s a good one without any fear.”  Let’s make this the year where we all identify and work towards reaching our personal goals.  More tomorrow…

Merry Christmas! My featured image is from Redmond Washington. It was taken by my daughter from her apartment window. I miss her every day, and it’s really hard not to have her here on Christmas morning. I’m not a worrier but this experience is giving me a crash course in how to become one. I believe we are just kidding ourselves if we think we can really control anything.  I love her, I trust her, and I will always be there for her and this just has to be enough.

My one point breakfast.

The aftermath.

Ribbons, boxes, and bowes…

Merry Christas !

Christmas coffee…

The stockings were hung

Santa came

I love my Christas decorations

Christmas morning.

HO HO HO

Today will be an easier day to stay on plan than yesterday was. For my family, Christmas Eve is the thing – an enormous feast of my favorite foods  I that I really enjoy eating, homemade cookies, and all kinds decadent desserts. I did eat, drink, and made merry. I also tracked it…

I’m proud of myself really – a couple of times I thought, just forget it –  don’t track today when I was sipping on my second wine spritzer (another choice to keep down points) but then I remembered that I tracked after Thanksgiving so why not Christmas Eve?  I do have a little bit of fear that I could fall back into bad old habits if I don’t completely dedicate myself to this process.

I no longer think of this journey ass one of deprivation because I am somehow defective. I now consider it as an act of love and caring born from empowerment. It really is a game changer. I hope that wherever you are on this journey you are taking every step towards self-love and care. You are worthy, you are beautiful, and you are enough.

Then…

Now…

Peace be with you all…

I’m taking a moment while I wait for the water to boil for Spaghetti al Olio to write this post. The day has been extremely busy. Last minute shopping and errands have made this day fly! However, I did take time to go to spin class so I did something that was just for me:

Walking into the gym…

Walking out of the gym…

I am keeping my points low so that I can enjoy the special foods that I don’t get to have every day later. That’s my strategy, and this is a good thing to have as we get closer and closer to all the fun the holidays bring.

I wrapped all the presents and hid them, even though my kids are not little this is something they insist upon.

As I look at everything that I’ve done to get ready for the holiday, I hope that it brings my family joy.  I hope that they will like their gifts and enjoy the meal. But I really hope that we all stay present in the moment because this time we get to have together is the thing. These times are the moments that we can never get back, and while I am sad for those who cannot be with us today, I am grateful for those we do have.

Merry Christmas Eve and remember our greatest gifts are the love we share.

Pre-Meeting…

I woke up really early at 6:05 am. Just about a full hour before I had to and now I’m ready to go to my meeting and I’ve got an extra 20 minutes to spare. I don’t want to go downstairs because I won’t drink any coffee before weighing in. Which reminds me, do you want to hear some of my ridiculous rituals? On weigh-in day…

• I will not eat or drink anything before stepping on the Weight Watchers scale
• I wear my lightest clothes that I can stand to wear in public because you know…
• I will only weigh in on one scale once I get there
• I bring my notebook every week and if I forget it I feel a little out of sorts.
• I have a little mantra… “It’s not about the number. It’s not about the number. It’s not about the number.” 

These may seem crazy to people who do not have a goal to lose weight because, in truth, these rituals are crazy. For instance, this morning, I stood in my basement holding two different shirts in either hand to see which one felt heavier than the other.  That’s nuts!

I think the reason why I have these superstitions are that while I can control a lot as I go through the journey, I can’t turn a dial on the scale to get a specific number.  So, if the number doesn’t match my perceptions of what I “deserve” then I’m bound for disappointment. I also realize that the notion of deserving is skewed too. I think that numbers make this about winning and losing and that’s a problem. This is not what the journey is about for me. I did everything I could this week to become more self-aware, I wouldn’t change a thing. If a number is less than that it doesn’t define me or my efforts. So, I’m still working on this.

Post Meeting…

I did it! I made my goal in December! I had a personal goal to get back to the weight I was at a year ago and I did it! My Saturday Morning Weight Watcher group was amazing! Everyone was so supportive and just very happy for me. The thing is, I have felt those same feelings for them. I tell you, get a tribe to do this work with. I will be happy to be on your team because there is no reason that we all can’t get to goal.

Thank you for reading, I appreciate you and wish you only love and joy as we get closer to the day we celebrate God’s love for us. More tomorrow…

Christmas is almost here, and I’m starting to believe that it’s all going to come together. I feel like I’m a marathon runner who is down to her last mile, and if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other I’ll get there.

Each year brings its own challenges and this year was no exception. The difference is how I handled the stressors of the season. I took good care of myself (and everyone else too so it is possible) by keeping my goals close to me. I have to say, that feels pretty amazing.

This whole journey is about so much more than weight loss. I somehow feel more connected to who I really am.

As I write these posts I am learning how to really see the world and see myself within it. I am not a mother, a wife, or a teacher – I am me – who happens to be all of those things. I believe that sometimes it is easy to limit ourselves to the labels we identify with and that leaves us stunted.

My good advice (that I’m learning to take myself) don’t worry about how others see you. Take the time to get to know how you see yourself and then grow into that person because, that person, is amazing.  You, you are the gift! So let’s get this holiday season going, shall we?