Yesterday, I met with my Kindergarten Team and we talked about teaching kids to say the word, “slug slowly” so they would hear all the discrete sounds embedded in words. This discussion ended with me, searching for videos of slugs (yuck, but the kids will like it). This got me thinking about where I’m at in my weight loss journey. Bet you couldn’t see that coming, wink wink.
Everything is going in the right direction, but my weight loss feels slow. That, and the challenge of feeling a bit hungrier lately, are making my journey feel like walking uphill. I’ve always prided myself on being an “uphill kind of girl.” When things get rough I put my head down, and… m o v e. In this case, the way to move past this phase of the journey is to take a closer look at my feelings.
When I start using words like, “feel” I know it’s time to look at my data to see if my feelings are in check with my reality. It turns out, they are not. My data shows I’m very consistent. Knowing this, and being able to prove it to myself is a relief. I’m so glad that I made friends with the scale because I know myself, I could have spun these “feelings” into a full-on why bother negative talk fest.
Beware self-sabotage when you’re on a weight loss journey. Sometimes you may feel like your moving, “slug slowly” but really, you’re doing the important work that needs to come first if you want to reach your goal. Keep it together, and just keep moving forward.
At times, I get crazy ideas as though my brain and my body are at war. My brain and my body are suddenly split into two camps. My beliefs, motivation, and control for weight loss are generated in my head, and the result of those efforts comes from my body. If I’m being honest, I have thought about the esoteric nature of hormones and their ability to sabotage my weight loss. The nonsensical rise and fall of weight fluctuation from one day to the next; what is that about? I think of my ever-elusive metabolic rate as if it holds a big rubber stamp to my weight loss efforts that proclaim…
My rational mind says, “You are your body and your mind and you sound paranoid” but my emotional mind says, “Weight loss isn’t happening as I know it should so there has to be something to blame.” Have you ever thought about weight loss in this way? I imagine you sitting there shaking your head, “Yes” and that makes me feel better because I know I’m not alone in my delusion… I like having company even when I get carried away.
I don’t get to control my hormones, metabolic rate, or naturally occurring weight fluctuation. I do control my ability to reflect on my progress and I get to call out my misguided thinking. Just because I do the “right things” every day doesn’t mean there will be a consistent result. I am making amazing progress. So when these thoughts entered my consciousness the other day, I was left with the question “What is my real problem?” I went down a slippery slope:
I know my weight loss journey is forever, but I also know I don’t want it to take forever. I have a date in mind for when I want to achieve my goal weight. I predicted that I should reach my goal by the mid to end of November 2023. Making predictions informs my progress so this decision is not the problem.
I took a look at my weight loss data from the beginning of August to now, and I see very clearly – positive results. Over the past three weeks, I have lost 3.9 pounds. Knowing this information is not the problem.
I reevaluated my prediction based on my current trend for weight loss, If I were to make my goal by my projected date, I would need to lose 2.7 pounds a week. Given my current trends, a more realistic goal date would be mid-January. Adjusting my goal date is not a problem either.
So what’s the problem?
Before working out the data to reflect a more sustainable weight loss, I had the thought, “Maybe if I really push myself, I can lose 2 pounds a week and get really close to my original goal date.” If I made the decision to push harder in service of the numbers I would be giving up my power to the scale. I know from my past, that’s not ok for me to do. So why do I feel like I am wavering? There is more than one reason why:
The first reason I can think of is that lately, I’ve been eating more. I didn’t have dinner one night and ate junk. I tracked most of it but not all. Things like that are going to happen, I’m not a machine! However, it doesn’t mean that I should ignore the behavior and just write it off either.
Another reason is that the holidays begin in November, and I am imagining myself looking and feeling as if I made it to goal. I know that’s superficial and not the most important part of this journey, but there is some vanity tied up in weight loss for me. That’s the truth.
Is that all there is to it?
No wait, there’s more. Brutal honesty now. Yesterday, I saw some friends who have made the choice to use medication or surgery to lose weight. I really care about my friends and I truly want them to be successful. That is the truth but this is also true, I feel competitive about reaching my goal later than they do In my mind I imagine them being at their healthy weight, and I am still in the trenches.
It’s like there is a petty side of me who wants to be able to say, “I don’t need those things I can control my own journey, all on my own.” I don’t even feel that way. I know weight gain is such a hard thing. Everyone’s journey is unique and so long as our choices are supported by good health guidelines, there is no one “right way” there is no “one superior way” It is clear to me that I have plenty of work to do on myself. All this has nothing to do with my friends or their choices, it has to do with my own self-esteem. At times, I am clearly still the little girl who feels less than her peers. The girl who feels the need to outdo everyone else as though it’s the only way to prove I’m just as good.
It’s time to call a truce with body and mind. I need to make peace with the fact that I don’t get to control everything. Hormones happen and negative talk will sometimes dominate. When this happens that means it’s time for me to do the work, and reflect to decide what will happen next. That is the only way I can think of to evolve and come out of this wiser than when I began. All of these things could have coalesced into a major setback, so I am filled with gratitude and relief that I did this work:
I used data to speak back to irrational fear and not let the scale take away my power. The data is clear it is undeniable that I am making great progress.
I was honest about my fears and vanity and that silenced the negative self-talk that would have spun a familiar (and destructive) faulty narrative of being less than.
I trusted all of you and shared my story. I put it all out here and I “walked the walk” even though it made me vulnerable because I can’t be brave without being vulnerable.
If anything I’ve written today resonates with you and maybe you feel a setback coming on, that means it’s time to be honest with yourself. Do the work, and reach out if you think it will help but no matter what, don’t stop the journey.
Habits are a funny thing because they seem so obvious to everyone. When a behavior is repeated with a high degree of frequency over time it becomes a habit. If the behavior is easy to do and requires little effort or thought the more likely it is to become a long-lasting habit. It is all pretty basic. Some people rail against the idea of forming habits to lose weight because it all seems too Pavolov’s dogs, or rats chasing after cheese in a maze for them. I get thatbut here’s the truth. The truth is everyone already has habits even if they are not conscious of them.
A Day in a Life of a Weight Watcher
Here is a story I’ve heard before. A woman closes up her kitchen for the night and then sits in a favorite chair. She enjoys winding down her day by reading a book. After a while, a snack craving happens. She tries to ignore it but eventually succumbs getting up and going back into her kitchen, thinking to herself, “I closed the kitchen.” to make herself a snack. As she is doing it she may even be thinking, “I should not be having a snack. I’m not even that hungry.” Then she eats the snack (or snacks) as she reads her book. She has mixed feelings of reward and disappointment, chalking it all up to a lack of willpower. This happens night after night and is sabotaging her weight loss. The root cause is not a lack of willpower, this is an example of an unhelpful, unconscious, habit.
Strategy #4: Habits are Helpers
It’s easy to read along with this and say, well ok Captain Obvious. It’s obvious to us right now because we are not the ones experiencing the cravings, or anticipating the rewards that habits bring with them. I’ve been that woman, and I can tell you for sure, it wasn’t obvious to me. I know at least some of you reading right now are doing this same behavior too. So how do we get rid of unhelpful habits? We wake up to them and then we redesign our lives.
I was able to redesign my habits to get rid of snacking at night but I noticed I had not been reading. I love to read fiction, and I need to read nonfiction for work if I am going to stay abreast of the latest educational trends. So I redesigned my life with a helpful habit.
I included reading for 20 minutes a night on my habit tracker.
Each day I think about a convenient time to read for 20 minutes. Sometimes it’s during lunch, or in the evening, I like having flexibility.
The reward comes from two things: checking off the habit on my tracker (because it’s a habit I want to create) and the act of reading itself.
Habits happen either way. Will you make them your friend or foe? I am telling you it’s not fate, you get to make that decision. If you master your habits you can get anything you really want. This is true for weight loss, and anything else. Think about this because I am telling you are your greatest resource if you know how to tap into your power.
It has been an emotional few days. I am the kind of person who has unconsciously used food to soothe negative emotions like stress, fear, or sadness. Now that I am more self-aware of this misguided habit, I can say I have grown wiser about emotional eating. However, this wisdom does not help me with the pain I feel at this moment.
For better and for worse emotions are part of life. Maybe the best thing I can do is to name what I’m feeling. Right now, I am sad because I miss my son. He is living his life. He is happy, safe, and loved, and for all of this, I am (truly) grateful. This is helping me because now I see that it’s not just sadness I feel it’s also gratitude; but more than that it is love.
Lasting weight loss seems so elusive to so many because weight loss is seen as a temporary measure to deal with an immediate problem. Whereas the root causes of weight gain have long-lasting ties, that run really deep with many of us. The hard work comes when we need to reconcile lifestyle choices with weight loss goals. For me, I want to lose weight and I want to have some fun too.
I am in the midst of a three-day weekend, and I went out to an amazing restaurant for dinner (The Farm Italy) I had a very fun cocktailnand a delicious entree:
I drank the drink and ate the food, and had a lot of fun, and I fully expect to lose weight this week. There has to be room for fun if this is going to work. Life is precious and our time here has a limit. We have to be able to have some fun along the way before we reach our weight loss goals. You are worth every ounce of effort you put into this journey, and I really hope you believe that. We really can have it all (with moderation) if we know how to find the balance.
On those days when motivation is low and reaching for what’s easy seems way more appealing than what was planned, don’t doubt yourself. We are built to conserve energy, and easy beats complicated hands down.
My habits are working with little effort on my part because of repetition. It’s not about how long you do something that matters, it’s the frequency. Here is my morning routine (which is really a bunch of easy-to-do habits strung together):
Wake up and go downstairs and weigh in.
Record my weight in my WW app.
Take my Apple Watch off the charger and put it on.
Get a cup of coffee, turn on the news, and play Wordle
Make a simple breakfast
Eat, take my vitamins, drink water
Not one of these habits is difficult to do. Each one holds a small reward, the weigh-in (for me) shows data trends that reveal how my body weight fluctuates while losing weight. I like to see it, so this works for me. If you’re the kind of person who would get completely bummed out with a gain after following the plan the day before, this is not a good habit for you. In each thing you do, there should be an opportunity for joy. The Apple Watch is very motivating for me because I enjoy closing my rings. However, if you are not motivated by external rewards, this may not be a helpful habit.
We are all so different, and knowing yourself is a huge asset if you embark on a weight loss journey. So think about what you can do to make this process a bit easier.
Embarking on a weight loss journey means one is attempting to redefine how a person will live life. For me, weight loss means being able to move more freely, with less pain. Anyone who has experienced pain in daily life would tell you that relief from pain is life-changing! Weight loss reduces the strain on my heart, and might fend off diabetes. So when I write about the significance of my own personal journey, I am not making any judgments on how anyone decides to live their life. This journey is for me alone.
Knowing why a weight loss journey matters to you is very important. When you can define why you want to lose weight, you can also begin to understand what is driving your motivation, and your knowing where motivation comes from, will predict how you experience the day-to-day work of weight loss. We already know that most times, change is a slow process. Weight loss requires a lot of work upfront before feeling the impact of those efforts. It is usually even slower for other people around you to notice. Are you motivated by the product, losing weight; or, are you motivated by the process of learning about yourself?
When motivation is tied to an outcome, weight loss only, it is evidence of a product mindset. When motivation is generated by accomplishing smaller goals leading toward a larger goal, it is evidence of a process mindset. A product mindset is fixed – there is either success or failure. Success is only tied to the number on the scale. A process mindset is predicated on growth, meaning there is an ebb and flow for learning and reflection through accomplishing or learning from smaller goals.
I am a process girl all the way. For the most part that is a good thing I think. I am happy and content to hit my daily goals while I keep working to hit “goal”. Although, I do have to be careful not to get too lax on the journey. When the process is what matters, the rate of weight loss becomes less important, and I think that is something to watch. In the end, I do want the product – to get to my goal weight, and I really don’t want it to take too long. However, I also don’t want to achieve it at the expense of experiencing joy. I do want to celebrate all the milestones along the way, and I don’t want to miss out on all the fun that the holidays and summer vacation brings with them. I want to make my life betters, and I want to experience my life right now.
Healthy people eat mindfully, work out, and stay hydrated, they know how to use moderation when it comes to food. How do they do it? Habits. The habits we keep reveal our real selves to the world. Well, I hate to burst the bubble but this is old news! If you belong to WW we talk about habits all the time.
Habits create systems for weight loss, and success comes from knowing how to establish and keep helpful habits. What if one day, you made a commitment to a daily water goal? What if the next week, you made a commitment to weigh yourself once a day? What if the week after that you added keeping a food diary? Then, what if you got a fitness monitor and decided to do some kind of activity (even if it was just for 10 minutes) every day? You would lose weight.
If weight loss is what you’re after give this some serious thought. Maybe you need a visual reminder – leave a note to initiate your habits. It might be that you need an auditory cue – set an alarm.
You can do this, and I hope you know that I am here rooting you on! Do someone a solid, and be a cheerleader for them too. The success of others is worth celebrating even if you’re not there yet. Kindness is a magnet it brings us together.
Here is a moment from my day to celebrate. Instead of ordering out with the girls, I ate the lunch I packed from home. The great part is that I didn’t feel as though I missed out on anything. I really enjoyed eating with my friends, and I still stayed on track. There have been times when it wouldn’t go this way. I felt good because my health and wellness journey is important to me. I want to make a positive impact on my life and it’s working. I feel better, even if sometimes it’s difficult, I am proud of myself for maintaining my resolve.
Ever notice how many people will say crazy things like, “It’s good to push yourself out of your comfort zone.” This is said without any real regard for the experiences that come about from having done the thing that pushed you out of your comfort zone. Sometimes those are rough experiences! I don’t think the “good” actually comes from the experience, To me, it only does good if I reflect following the experience.
I went to Manhattan for work, and all of it was out of my comfort zone. Now that it’s over, I can honestly say, I’m glad I went, but I’m really tired. Was it worth it? Did it help me grow? I’m not sure yet, it depends on how much the experience impacts my practice. So time will tell.
Speaking of challenges, is cutting sugar out of your comfort zone? My answer would be, no cutting out sugar is pretty easy. It’s easy because I have already put in the sweat equity into my habits. I don’t eat a lot of sugar these days, and I don’t really miss it. Without any real evidence; my gut, thinks limiting sugar/added sugar has been very helpful. The weight is coming off, I have more energy, and I am a happy traveler (for now) on my journey.
Getting to Goal 