Am I Flexible or Fixed?

Today was a lot. I was in for a full day of work and then facilitating after-school professional development. I am always a little nervous when I’m going to present. It’s not because I’m not confident about the content, I always put in the work, meaning, I study and prepare. I get nervous because I really want it to be a great experience for everyone. So, I started the day off right – for me – I made time for breakfast before I left the house.

I packed my lunch carefully. Today there would be no almonds with lunch because I had granola for breakfast. I was going to reserve the apple and the cheese stick for the afternoon. I had a well-thought-out plan. Go me!

The day was going good, beginning with a morning meeting, and teaching – by 11:45 am I was famished. I looked around my desk – no lunch. In my haste to get to school, I must have left it in my car. That was not the case, there was no lunch. I left it at home. I felt overwhelmed, my plan was trashed. Now what?

I went to the deli and bought a small chili, a banana, and a bag of pretzels. I was short on time, and I made hasty choices. Then came the candy. Feeling stressed, I ate two hefty handfuls of candy from the bag set aside for professional development. Instead of having a flexible approach, I fell back into a fixed response. Afterward, I thought, “Well, that sucks.”

By the time the day was over, I was home and it was time for dinner. Today felt like a failure. We went to Chick-fil-A – I got a grilled chicken sandwich and fries. My husband’s meal included the chocolate shake ( I wanted that too – but I didn’t get one ). So there was a bit of redemption.

Today can be a blip in an otherwise strong start back to being on plan or it can be the end of that start and I can kick the can down the road. Will I have a flexible approach or a fixed one? I’m still here, blogging to stay true to my goal. It’s a blip, and I am going to keep trying.

The First Snowfall

I woke up to snow, and it was beautiful. The first snowfall of the season was nothing more than a momentary skift. It was just enough to cover the rooftops and hide patches of brownish-green grass. By lunchtime, it had been erased as if it were never there at all. Reflecting on the morning from this side of the early evening has reminded me that appreciating the beauty of nature is an important part of my weight loss journey.

It’s a Monday, and I am still tending to my “why” I want more energy, and confidence, I know how it feels since I have gotten to goal in my past and it does feel amazing. But for now, I want to focus on being positive about where I am at this particular moment.

So what went well today? I tracked all day and I am in that healthy eating zone (in WW speak blue dot days). I packed my lunch, and prepared a healthy dinner, which I did enjoy. My WW leader, Lisa, says it’s important to eat “happy” That phrase has found a home in my inner thoughts, and I find it to be helpful.

Writing these posts feels a lot like I’m telling myself a story about how I want this journey to go – like helping me to remember why I want to be on the journey for starters. Is it hard that I’ve allowed myself to gain weight? Yes, it is disappointing. But I do have faith that it is as it should be, and I can look back and feel bad about it or I can look to the future and take action. Onward I go, and I know I am in good company.

Check out this skit from SNL so funny (silly but funny)…

https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-holiday-train/NBCE028421932

Seriously Sunday

There is a hashtag that trends on all forms of social media #teacherslife! that tags pictures of beaches, cocktails, and elaborate holiday vacations I don’t know who those teachers are, I suspect those teachers are married to the people financing all that fun. My featured image depicts my version of #teacherslife! Yeah… Sunday nights are for shoring up all the work that I took home from last week.

Aside from the massive amount of planning work I have to do, you’ll also notice that I have a healthy 2-point snack that I am munching before dinner. This is the resulting action when a “why” is aligned with one’s intentions. You might be thinking, “Well, DUH, Jenn.” I am writing this more as a callout to myself. I need reminding. I need to pause and think, “This is a good choice, this is something you are doing to help yourself feel better.” Or… “You are doing yourself a kindness right now.”

The good news, today was easier than yesterday. I tracked everything I ate, and I’m ok with estimating the foods that are harder to know the points values of. I am doing my part over here. But before I sign off, I just have to say, if you are on a weight loss journey like me, I have hands-down respect for you. It’s not easy, and it takes a lot of time and effort to do this. Your brain will want to take shortcuts, and check out because the brain does its best to be efficient and conserve energy. But the heart will give all that it has to keep it going. This is dedicated to you readers, and as my WW leader, Lisa would recommend, you should dance when you hear it…

Going Back to Why

When your why and your intentions are lined up the rest of a weight loss journey becomes grounded and centered. Losing weight is so hard for some of us, and this is especially true for me. For a long time now, my “why” has been absent from my thoughts, and my weight loss efforts have suffered. I’ve gained weight and that makes me very unhappy.

So, I can keep doing what I’m doing, and continue on this path of steady weight gain, or I can make a change. So, I am opting to make a change. I made a goal in front of my WW group that I would blog every day this week as a way to reflect on my why. If I think about why I want to lose weight, I can list out three big reasons:

I want more energy

I want to feel lighter in my movements

I want be more confident

So today, was a win. I tracked all day, and I am posting this blog. One day at a time.