Most people have trouble losing weight. The most obvious reasons are: it takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, and consistent motivation to make it happen. Sometimes it’s not hard to stay in control (I’m in touch with healthy habits, and I feel good about where I am on the journey), and then other times it can seem doggedly difficult. Maybe I look at a picture and think, “Ugh… am I even making any progress?” True story, I felt that way just this afternoon.

There can be weeks of steady improvement followed by days of struggle. It is as though there is an on/off switch inside my head. Right now the switch is on for healthy living, but past experiences have taught me not to take that for granted. Something is nagging me I keep returning to these questions: “What changed?” How did I get back on track, and how did I lose the resolve from last time?” I really do like how I feel when I’m in check with healthy living, and yet (just like turning off a switch) falling out of step with these habits can happen in a snap.

Why? I think the change (for better or worse) hinges on subtle cues that activate behavioral responses. Today’s unflattering picture is a good example. On one hand, it might trigger me to drop my healthy habits, “Ugh.. might as well eat ice cream.” The other scenario might be, “Wow, it’s a good thing I am working on myself, keep going.” But really both scenarios are examples of negative self-talk. That is something to pay attention to and to work on.

The saddest part about this is when my family looked at the picture they said, “Look you have a genuine smile, you look really pretty.” When they see me, they just feel love. All of the anxiety and vanity tied up in needing to lose weight can cloud all perspective. Now that I think about it this post isn’t really about being fearful that I’ll lose my healthy habits. This post isn’t about me feeling upset with my physical appearance. Those are distractions, my weight loss journey is about so much more than habits, anxiety, and vanity. This is a journey to learn how to love myself for who I am right now, and to strive to evolve to be more today than I was yesterday.