The bravest thing we can do is to surrender to the understanding that love is our most powerful expression of self. All the fear, anxiety, and anger are really subordinate emotions there to protect us from rejection or disappointment. I think all these emotions are bundled up and intertwined like chains that keep us back from reaching our full potential.
It’s hard, to be honest about what made me gain back some of the weight that I lost. It would be lazy thinking to say, “It must be genetics.” Don’t misunderstand me, I’m certainly not diminishing the role of genetics, we are all built differently, and that is a good thing. There are so many ways to be beautiful, I don’t believe we were ever designed to look or be one way in this diverse world. Diversity is the vanguard of a healthier, more evolved, better planet. What I am saying, is that I know myself. I know when I feel more at home in my own skin. I feel physically stronger and mentally clearer when I am in control of my weight. Rediscovering this truth is both painful and beautiful. Painful, because I let that slip away; beautiful, because I have the wisdom to recognize it.
I think that maybe weight gain is just another layer of protection. Food can transport us back to happier times when (if we’re very lucky) to carefree days of youth, family, security, and traditions. The food we eat tells stories of our roots. So in that way, we can time travel back through eating. We can share our stories through food, food can even be an expression of love. Really, don’t you think it’s playing it safe to show or experience love through food? I’m not kidding myself, for me, I think all of that has to do with why I gained back weight – carrying the weight of the world literally on my back (and everywhere else).
This is a heavy thing, to say no matter what for the rest of my life, I am going to do all that I can to lead with love – even if that means I am rejected; even if I fail; even if it means love is not returned back to me. It’s not just about weight loss, it’s about becoming someone more evolved than I am today.
Getting to Goal 