Worries followed me like my shadow today. Plus, I was very unlucky and lost my seat at the 5:15 am spin class. I left my breakfast and lunch home. On top of that, I dealt with some difficult conversations at work, and then I ended up staying late to help manage a situation after school. It was a stressful day.
On the other hand, my husband took the 40 minute ride dropped off my food at school. What a guy. I had a great day coaching and teaching. I was there or my colleagues when they needed me. Even if I can’t please everyone I am still worthy and good. I am enough.
When the question was posed, “Do you want to go to the good Carvel?” I immediately said “YES!” in my mind; but instead, I actually said, “You know it’s pretty late, so I don’t think tonight’s a good night for that..” I’m really proud of myself for turning that offer down. Saying no to ice cream tonight may be the thing that helps me when I weigh in on Saturday.
I have a two-pound range that I need to stay within in order to meet my Maintenance goal and get to Lifetime status. I really don’t want to reset my maintenance clock and start over. I think I have to get over my presuppositions about how all of this is supposed to go. If I have to start over, then I do. If I get through this next weigh in within that two-pound window then that’s the way it will go. In the meantime, the important decisions are the choices I’m making day-to-day like skipping dessert and packing healthy foods and making room for activity.
This is not simple, it does take quite a bit of effort. In return for that effort, I am feeling (physically, mentally, and emotionally) fantastic. All I have to do is my (honest to goodness) best, and that is good enough for me.
Last night, before I went to bed I was reading The Power of Habit and it turns out that researchers are very interested in willpower. It seems that willpower is like a muscle and the more demanding the task the more depleted your stores of willpower can become. That’s why it can be hard to go for a run after work. You’ve used up all your willpower to get through answering a stack of emails and or reading some new protocol.
In the old days, a full day of professional development would have been a struggle when it comes to staying on track with my SmartPoints. There are always granola bars, candy, and sometimes cake, chips, or cookies to nosh on throughout the day. I was not tempted, not once. I did have one piece of candy (2sp) after lunch but that’s it – that’s all I wanted. My habits have become so rooted in my daily life that it doesn’t take the same amount of effort (or at least as far as today is concerned) to say no to food.
It was a full day of learning and I have lots to consider as I wind down tonight. I’m thinking about the kind of language I use with my students. It is so important to be careful with language. Having the privilege of being part of a child’s education means that I get to be the one who cheers young readers and writers on as they learn to find their voice in the world. I get to amplify their success and honor their struggles. Learning cannot happen without some struggle. There is always a flip side: success and failure; safety and vulnerability, courage and fear. The thing is, we need both and we have to make both ok if we are going to continue to evolve into the best version of ourselves.
There is no success without failure so give yourself permission to fail. Fail without shame and lean in and learn more about yourself.
We will never truly feel safe until we have put ourselves out there and opened ourselves up to vulnerability. Share how you feel especially when the feelings make you feel small or unsure about who you want to be.
There is no way to be courageous if we don’t feel fear. Fear is the thing that makes courage so extraordinary. Do something new that you’ve never done but have always wanted to try. Grow into the person you want to be don’t just take shelter in a lesser version of yourself.
Learning and struggle are part of the journey. Whether you are learning to read and write or trying to change your habits to sustain a healthier lifestyle. Eventually, you learn and what was once a struggle is now just part of what you do, like saying “No thanks” to candy. If you’re not there yet, it’s ok to be kind to yourself. Every single day your willpower gets a workout, life is hard sometimes. I think just acknowledging that makes it better.
I went to work, and then I went to the library and worked until 9:00 pm. I came home and worked for another half hour. Then I ate salad with grilled chicken on top and a piece of Italian bread. After that, I ate an eight-point dessert.
As I reflect on today, all I can write is that I have to continue to be mindful about my choices and my reasons for eating. Especially when I am under so much stress. I have to keep it all in context. I know that this is a temporary situation and all I have to do is to keep working and eventually, I will get through this difficult time.
Those are my words for the day. Even when it’s a difficult day I want to try to encourage someone, and I want to encourage myself. Today was hard, I just finished working. I’m making my lunch and breakfast for tomorrow, and I have a quick agenda to write for a meeting tomorrow morning. I am pushing myself harder than ever but I think I’m starting to make a turn in the right direction. I’m starting to get a second wind.
Is weight loss difficult? You bet it is. Is it worth it? I think so. I can do this, and so can you. Let’s encourage each other.
I wish I had more to share. For the most part, all I did was work today. I’m making progress, but I have so much more to do. I just have to keep at it.
I ate sort of sporadically I used a total of 24 SmartPoints. I had a salad with chicken for dinner and I decided to eat half of it and use the other half for lunch tomorrow. I still have to pack my breakfast and lunch and get myself ready for the workday.
I am going through this phase where I’m not hungry and then I’m starving. I think I am waiting too long to eat between meals. I did sign up for spin again. So, maybe tomorrow is the day I actually make it there. I’ll let you know.
This post is coming at you late because it has been a long day of work. I spent most of today writing on my computer. I found myself thinking about food a couple of times. Two times were because I was experiencing internal hunger. Time had slipped by and I had not eaten in over four hours and I wasn’t craving anything, in particular, I just wanted to eat something. However, one time I was thinking about a Carvelite Ice Cream Cone and that was a desire to alleviate some stress. I didn’t go for the cone because I had a chocolate chip cookie after lunch. I’m ending the day with one rollover point. Breakfast 2sp; Lunch 8sp; and Dinner was 10sp.
So while I have this tremendous workload going I decided, I needed a boost. So I did two things to help myself…
One: I prepared a really delicious dinner. I cleared my dining room table of all my books and the whole family sat and enjoyed the meal together. It was homemade sauce (with pork) and pasta. A true comfort meal for me and I was able to eat it, enjoy it, and still stay on plan. I did weigh and measure my serving, and I had a piece of bread to dip in my leftover sauce. So darn good.
Two: I needed a visual anchor to remind myself of how far I’ve come in terms of weight loss. On my right, is my mother’s ring sparkling up at me. There to remind me of all the years it was tucked away in a draw because I couldn’t wear it. On my left, my engagement ring, and wedding ring which were at one time, too small for my fingers. Now they are so loose they turn to the side. I did that.
I think it’s important to give yourself a chance to be successful. When you know you are going to be up against it you’ve got to plan in some relief. Celebrate all the victories none are too small. Believe you can do it even when your circumstances aren’t ideal. You are worth every ounce of effort. I’ll be back at this tomorrow. Do this with me we can all get to goal.
It is late, so (again) this has to be a short post. Today was busy and I am tired. I worked all day, cooked dinner, worked all evening. I was careful to eat mindfully and dinner was very delicious. We had roasted potatoes with turkey sausage. No gobbling food down and then looking for something else. That’s an NSV because when I work under stress like this, I can be vulnerable to unconscious eating.
Weight loss has been such a big priority for me over this past year. I’m almost at my goal weight. I’m going to stay positive and keep up my momentum and motivation. If you are reading this send me your good thoughts. Thank you for reading.