Day Ten…

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 y featured image is not from today. Today, was dreary, wet, and cold. Instead, I conjured up a picture from December of last year. It is so beautiful and makes me feel connected to a deep sense of wonder. This tree grew from a seed a small insignificant seed into this stalwart giant. A fixture on the landscape to guide my way home. 

It turns out I needed a little inspiration. I am finding that I am hungry and am looking to graze. I have not let that get away from me. But the past few days are rough! I am reminding myself to ask if this is internal or external hunger I feel. I am stirring away from sugar and am trying to eat a variety of foods. I only have 7 extra SmartPoints left (with today’s 3 point roll-over) and I don’t love that I’ve used so many points pretty early into my week.  Especially, since I’ll be traveling to Houston.

Yikes! It looks beautiful though. 

 This will be a little tricky but hey, I have you my virtual team on this journey with me. Believe it, that helps! I think there is just these “hungry” kind of days. Days that I have no business really being hungry because I’ve eaten and when I reflect on my overall being I’m not really hungry, I’m just craving something… I did, however, say no to these tonight:

Three reasons to be happy today: 1. I am happy about saying no these. 2. I am happy that I am working towards Lifetime status. 3. I am happy to know that so many people love me and that I love so many people. Life is crazy, but life is also very extraordinary.

My last words tonight are to hold on to all the beauty. Celebrate all the small wins. Be interested in yourself so you may be interesting to others :). You are worth all the effort this journey requires from us. I’m very proud of you, you are amazing, and don’t you forget that! More tomorrow. 

Day Five…

There is no doubt that we are living in a stressful world.  There is always plenty of bad news, hurt feelings, and depressing images. It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed at each flip of a page, turn of a channel, or click on a screen because we are innodated with constant unyielding information. Know what I mean?

Mindful

It turns out, the antidote to this crazed harried existence, we all seem to be living, is within the auspice of our own control.  Practicing mindfulness is where it’s at. When I started to read a little more about this practice I realized that I have stumbled onto these practices in my effort to get to goal.

The following list names the markers of practicing mindfulness and how they were revealed through my weight loss journey.

  1. Kindness counts: If it’s true that you write your own story in this life. The narrator of that story needs to have a kind voice. My daily reflections for my progress, throughout my weight loss journey is colored by kindness.
  2. Drop the judgment: Acknowledge and accept things for what they are. I was talking to a friend just tonight about how it’s exhausting to think about people who zap your energy. I feel as though I’m surrendering my energy and to what end? The judgment doesn’t change a thing, it just lets negativity linger.
  3. Practicing patience: I’ve had to learn how to wait. There were points in this journey where I’ve felt totally transformed on the inside but it wasn’t showing on the outside. Those were challenging times and I totally understand why so many people give up on the way to goal. Being patience conserves personal power because there is a belief that things will change eventually.
  4. Beginning with a beginner’s mind: I kept that honeymoon phase of #WW going throughout the journey. It is toxic to assume a point of view that there is nothing new to learn. I opened myself up to the possibility of doing things differently this time around.
  5. It’s a matter of trust: I believe in me. I have learned to trust my own personal wisdom. There is no magic book, or program, or pill there is only me and I am enough.
  6. Non-striving: I have always been driven by goals. Getting through graduate school, getting a job, buying a house… It turns out it’s very different when it comes to weight loss. Sometimes being driven by a purpose is not so helpful. If it’s all about the “goal” itself, I would have missed all the good stuff that was happening at the moment.
  7. Acceptance, the ultimate reality check: once I learned to accept wherever I was on the road to getting to goal I was able to be more responsive to what I needed in order to be successful. There were and are lots of challenges, for example being tempted by candy. I love candy and I accept that fact. I can eat it but then I have to track it.  To my way of thinking, this is a form of acceptance.
  8. Get ready, get set, let go: Being at peace with myself and not fighting the process is life changing. I now understand that things will unfold as they are meant to and in doing so I have made room for change.

I share these thoughts because I want to help others achieve their goals.  I do believe that we all have the power to transform ourselves. However, there is not one right path, it’s understanding your path because you are the path.

Day Four Hundred-Seventeen…

I am .4 pounds away from goal!

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I am so close. During the workshop, many members shared how our time and support system is what is helping them to stay on track. I completely agree. This is a challenge but it can be done.

The other day a colleague told me that when she saw me in the hallway she didn’t recognize me. She looked at me with astonishment because I have been so transformed.  In many ways I am different but on the other hand, in some important ways, I’m exactly the same. I had a piece of lemon pound cake after lunch today, and I immediately wanted another slice. I actually stood with my hand on the refrigerator and told myself, “No. No more, you’re done. You already know what it tastes like, and you don’t need anymore.” This worked today. I walked away from the refrigerator.

So even after all these weeks of care and attention, I am still vulnerable to overeating. It’s ok because knowing that about myself actually helps me. Honest reflection makes this possible. I am in this for life and I am grateful that I am learning more about myself.

 

Day Three Hundred Ninety-Six…

Food and memories are so deeply intertwined for me. I think of family dinners, holidays, and visiting relatives. I think of love and belonging when I think about food. I think of my little Italian Nanny, and my mother working all day in the kitchen to prepare the most delicious meals. Eggplant parmesan, escarole and beans, and pasta fagioli. Don’t even get me started on the pork sauce. Then there was the good sausage and Italian bread straight outta’ Brooklyn! I think of our kitchen table set for family and good times.  It’s no wonder that food is so comforting.

This blog is a place for the truth, and the truth is I am an emotional eater. The rational side of my brain says,  “It’s just food.” The emotional side of my brain says, “Sweet relief! Yes, let me have another scoop of ice cream please.”  However, the comfort is only temporary and is almost always followed with some regret. Since I began my journey, I am learning how to cope with emotions for what they are, and to deal with them without trying to distract myself with food.  Somedays it is very hard to do, while other days it’s not an issue at all.  It’s the self-awareness that I want to celebrate, getting to this point of really recognizing what has held me back in the past from achieving long-lasting weight loss.

I’m in this for life, and that means I have to continue to work on this part of me until I really understand what it is and why it happens. It means knowing my triggers, and being more present. When I do go on “autopilot” and old habits creep back in, recognizing it and taking action.  This stuff isn’t easy, and I think that’s why so many people give up on weight loss.

Just remember, it’s never too late for a “do over.” There is no shame in a fresh start even if it is every day or even every hour of the day.  You are enough, and so am I we can do this, it just takes time.

Day Three Hundred Eighty-Two…

I will be donating the food in my featured image towards the Weight Watchers Good campaign. I am glad to be part of something that makes a positive contribution. As I think about my weigh-in tomorrow I am hopeful.  I am ending this week -1 Smartpoint, The point is I know what I ate this week because I tracked weighed and measured everything. That’s good news and more good news? I went to spin class today and had a fantastic ride and a nice cup of coffee afterward.

Now I’m back with the books. I’ll be posting tomorrow, I’ll let you know what happens. But before I go, I want to take a moment to appreciate how far I have come. Both of these pictures were taken at a local festival, Cow Harbor Day. They are about six years apart. I am almost at goal. If I’m up tomorrow, I am just going to power through it. I can do this and (if you really want it) so can you.

Day Three Hundred Eighty-One…

I had a conversation with a friend today who is has lost so much weight. she shared her frustration about gaining .2 pounds and being stagnant.  It was privileged to be the voice that reminded her of all that she has achieved.  I quoted my Weight Watcher leader, “Don’t forget all the pounds you’re defending.” Narrowing the focus to numbers minimizes the accomplishment. If you’re on a weight loss journey and you feel stuck, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. Acknowledge the disappointment but keep going. Just because it isn’t happening quickly doesn’t mean it won’t happen. You can do this. Believe it.

Day Three Hundred Seventy-Nine…

The day was busy, there was so much to do at work that I barely had time to eat. I ate most of my lunch on my ride home. It was not a “blue dot” day but it wasn’t a disaster. I had my basic breakfast (greek yogurt and fruit), and lunch (sandwich, fruit, 1/3 cup pistachios, cut up vegetables, mini baby-bell cheese, low-fat Triscuits). Dinner – two tacos, a chocolate graham cracker from Starbucks with a tall nonfat skinny latte. So, I used 29 Smartpoints (one over the limit). I really enjoyed the graham cracker, unlike yesterday’s sugar-free ice cream, it was a big ticket item at 7 points.

As far as activity goes, I have been signing up for (and canceling) spin class. I have not gone because of all the late nights. When it comes to spin or sleep, sleep has to win. However, I did sign up for tomorrow, and I really want to go. Fingers crossed I get what needs to be done tonight at a reasonable hour so that happens. There is still so much work for me to do so work is taking priority.  However, this is a temporary (albeit extremely demanding) situation that will eventually come to an end.

So in the meantime, I am grateful for the latte and chocolate graham I enjoyed so much. I am grateful that I took Sadie for a walk the other day. I am even grateful for washing my face before I go to bed. These may be very simple things but they help. I am learning that even though I can’t control everything that comes my way, I can always appreciate what I have. It feels good to take this moment and think about the good because I want the good to grow.

My last words for today are I am rooting for your success on your weight loss journey.  This is a day-in-day-out kind of endeavor. It’s hard to see progress sometimes, and other times you wake up and feel totally different. I am 89.2 pounds and I made this happen. You can do this too,

Day Three Hundred Seventy-Six…

Here are my results in numbers for the week:

September 15, 2018

It’s been three weeks that I have (essentially) stayed the same weight. Two weeks ago I didn’t gain or lose weight, last week I gained 1.4 pounds, this week I lost 1.4 pounds. The last time (prior to today) I had a loss on the scale was, August 25th when I lost one pound. I am grateful that this slow patch is coming at a time when I’ve built up so many good habits.

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A member of my Saturday morning group made Lifetime today and I am so happy for her. I think her success is something to celebrate because she did it, she made it to Lifetime. Anyone who is on a weight loss journey can understand why this is an amazing accomplishment. She called herself a “habit girl” habits are the thing that got her to goal and lifetime. I also believe that it’s the consistency in my approach and mindset that is enabling me to persevere. I really do believe I can do this, it’s only a matter of time.

I hope you are experiencing success on your weight loss journey.  You can do this, and so can I so let’s keep moving forward.

 

 

 

Day Three Hundred Seventy-One…

Did you know my featured image (and breakfast) is made up mostly of seeds? Almonds are not really nuts, they’re a seed of a fruit (drupe).  Raspberries have around 100 tiny seeds around the drupelet (I think) and wild raspberries are carried and dropped by birds. While strawberries are actually their own class of fruit because they are the only berry to have their seeds on the outside. I don’t remember anything about blueberries… A baby owl is called an owlet, a baby hedgehog is called a hoglet. There is always a lesson to be learned like just be happy being a caper you will never be a lollipop. Another favorite, don’t envy the stars in the sky if you’re a starfish, happiness is the thing that makes you glow. Honestly, the world would be a happier place if more adults read picture books.

I can’t wait to be done with this project. I’m not there yet but I’m getting closer. I did wake up early (4:30 am)  to go to my spin class. Once I was there, I saw my friend who gave me a message I kept close in my heart all day. She told me that I’ll never go back to what I was before my weight loss transformation because I’ve worked too hard to be where I am right now. She was the kind voice that I needed to hear and I am grateful. Then later in the morning, my sister called me and invited me out for a coffee and a manicure. I could have just kept working, and maybe have finished an extra lesson but instead, I (happily) said yes! I needed to take a break from the grind, and it was a sweet relief, I am grateful to be so loved.

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I am pretty exhausted but I’m going to make my lunch before I head upstairs to bed. Packing my breakfast and lunch tonight will help me in the morning when I’m sure to need any help I can get.  This is the secret to successful weight loss, consistency. Even when life throws you melons. I won’t bore you with melon facts! So keep it steady at the wheel you will arrive at your weight loss destination. You can do this even when life is difficult. Believe in yourself and keep your why close. We can all get there, really and truly it just takes time. More tomorrow…

Day Three Hundred Sixty-Three…

It’s late so this will be a short post.  Tomorrow is a big day for me and all the other teachers in my district.  I’m presenting to my department all morning, and  I’m sure I have a bunch of meetings to fill up my afternoon. I plan on packing a good lunch and lots of water.  I wish I already had that done but it didn’t work out that way, so I’ll just do it first thing in the morning.

Right now, this is the best I can do and I’m proud of my efforts. I’m keeping “my why” close, and I’m working the program so it works for me.  There are so many things in life that can derail us aren’t there? Here’s to keeping good habits going and reflecting every day.