In my past, when I was not so self-aware I’d let superstition keep me from celebrating weight loss success. Like if I allowed myself to be present and experience the joy of my accomplishment I would be inviting trouble. I would hear that little voice say, “Don’t be too enthusiastic,” it would say “because maybe next week won’t be so kind and the weight will just boomerang back.” That voice was me abdicating my own sense of power I can’t really describe it but it was like I let something else take over and I was left feeling out of control.
The truth is, I am not powerless (neither are you) I am very powerful (so are you). Figuring out how to be honest and claim that power is a big part of what helped to made the difference this week.
I am going to use my WW Recovery Checklist again this week because it was so helpful. It’s a light tool that is a place to remind me of what habits are most helpful and a place to capture my reflections for how it’s going.
We are celebrating my husband’s birthday today and it could have been a recipe for disaster as far as my weight loss journey goes. He asked for his favorite lasagna, garlic bread, and sautéed spinach. That, plus birthday cake would send me over my SmartPoints balance and into my Weeklies. It is true that is why they are there to be used for such occasions – but I wanted to try to do it another way. This is what I did instead:
I tracked a slice of cake for 14 SmartPoints first thing in the morning after my WW workshop.
I kept my points low for the whole day. Yogurt & berries 0 sp. for breakfast, Homemade chicken burger made with 98% lean chicken 0 sp. on a low carb tortilla 2 sp. and a slice of Velvetta cheese 1 sp. and tomato. I also had some vegetable sticks, Mini Baby Bell Light 1 sp. and grapes 0 sp.
When I prepared lasagna for the family, I also made a zucchini lasagna for me 5 SmartPoints Per slice.
I will forgo the bread in favor of the cake.
It comes down to an important question, what do you really want? I really want to take care of my husband and make sure he has a happy birthday, and I want to lose weight this week. My actions today are making that possible.
Lots of down time to reflect because I am on vacation.
Family time, everyone’s schedules are more flexible.
This summer is different though, I’m getting physical therapy so I’m working on healing. I went this morning, and it is rough – there is a lot of pain, and I am a little disappointed at how long it’s taking to be whole again. There I go, putting some kind of clock on something that knows no schedule – it takes time, and only with time and effort will things get better for me.
I’m noticing a pattern, not just with my weight loss journey, but my whole life. I tend to put off the negative, and redirect my mental gaze to something else. I think that in some ways, this is a good strategy because it’s not healthy to dwell on the bad stuff. I really believe that is true, but I want to revise my thinking on that a bit because a little contemplation on the bad is also a healthy thing. Maybe I do have to dwell in the negative for a little while so I can wrap my hands around what is stressing me out. Like everything I keep looking for balance.
What stressed me out yesterday that preceded my binge? I had a hard time getting around at Sagamore Hill, I was in pain and I couldn’t do what I had been able to do before the accident. That was really disappointing. Then, I came home to a tree into my house, that brings with it a bunch of headaches that I’m not looking forward to dealing with. Later, I had an argument with and that just added to my overall mood. When I put that all together, I get a clearer image as to why I decided to turn off my healthy habits. Now of course, I wish I had done something else, but this is growth for me. I don’t typically sit down and examine my behavior. There is some power in this – give it a try I think it helps. Another helpful thing I did – I tracked everything I ate so I know how far in the hole I am as far as my Weeklies go and now I can work on recovery.
No matter how powerful; or successful; or brilliant; if there is an issue around weight gain there is deeper work that probably needs to be done. Teddy Roosevelt liked this portrait the best because the artist, Fedor Encke, shaved off thirty pounds. In the portrait depicts him as able to close his Rough Rider uniform, talk about filters! I think no matter who we are, a famous president, or a just a teacher from Long Island NY, we all tend to want to see ourselves as better than we are. The thing is, I am beginning to think, the real power play is for me to lean in and do the work so I own who I am so I can continue to grow and be more than who I am right now.
It was a missed opportunity that I decided to not track on Tuesday. I think the lesson I’m taking from this week is that I’d rather know. Next time, I’m going to try to track even when I don’t want to. I can do it I know that I can.
I changed some of the language on my WW Recovery Checklist because I want to better capture my reflections so I can make more informed goals.