This hasn’t happened in a long time but I have misgivings about my resolve. I feel like I could just let go of all the healthy habits I have worked so hard to set and just forget about tracking, weighing, and measuring my food. I feel like I want to be released from the energy demands it takes to live this healthier lifestyle. It would be great to just eat a pack of M&M peanuts and not think about it. Now, I’m not going to do that, and it’s upsetting that the thought is crossing my mind. It feels weak and out of control to have these thoughts. That’s the truth.
What can I do? I can do the work. I can examine my feelings and make a better choice. Sometimes, I turn food in times of stress. I look for comfort in food and that just sucks. Yes, right now, I’m having a hard time. However, it hasn’t been hard ALL day. This is recent, I’ve only felt this way since I got home from work. When I got home, I was truly hungry (internal) so I ate a 2 SP snack (28 grams Boars Head Turkey Pepperoni and 1 Baby Bell Light Cheese) and that helped. I am slowly learning how to make more thoughtful informed choices. It just takes time.
I can do this and so can you. Together, we can get through these momentary misgivings – just keep at it!
Tonight, thoughts of the journey and how it is always changing are crowding my brain. Yesterday was a struggle, today was a good one, I’m rolling over another two points; spin class was great this morning; and mindful reflection is slowly becoming a habit of mind. How about that for a word bender?
The other thing weighing me down tonight is that I’m trying to build up my confidence, I have to make a presentation to the school board tomorrow and I’ve written my remarks, practiced, and then rewritten them. I’ve recorded myself and listened back to it and I’m afraid that I sound like someone is sending me away to a dungeon! My hope is that when the time comes I sound more natural. That’s my story Im sticking with that.
I think weight loss fluctuates because life fluctuates. There is a lot going on in all our lives, so why make this harder than it needs to be? Say this with me, I’ll believe it if you believe it too:
You can do amazing things. You have proven this time and time again. Keep going because you are worth it.
When the question was posed, “Do you want to go to the good Carvel?” I immediately said “YES!” in my mind; but instead, I actually said, “You know it’s pretty late, so I don’t think tonight’s a good night for that..” I’m really proud of myself for turning that offer down. Saying no to ice cream tonight may be the thing that helps me when I weigh in on Saturday.
I have a two-pound range that I need to stay within in order to meet my Maintenance goal and get to Lifetime status. I really don’t want to reset my maintenance clock and start over. I think I have to get over my presuppositions about how all of this is supposed to go. If I have to start over, then I do. If I get through this next weigh in within that two-pound window then that’s the way it will go. In the meantime, the important decisions are the choices I’m making day-to-day like skipping dessert and packing healthy foods and making room for activity.
This is not simple, it does take quite a bit of effort. In return for that effort, I am feeling (physically, mentally, and emotionally) fantastic. All I have to do is my (honest to goodness) best, and that is good enough for me.