Here is the truth about tracking, sometimes making the choice to track is a struggle. Sometimes I just want to eat something without recording it, because when I record it I am held accountable. Sometimes, I decide not to track when I go over my SmartPoints balance. Tonight, I’m not allowing myself that delusion that it doesn’t matter if I eat those fig bars (the package of fig bars has two and one bar is a serving… I ate both). Now my SmartPoints balance is 30 for the day. I’m over my range for weight loss, but still within the range for maintenance. I wouldn’t have known that had I not tracked and thought about it.
Here is another truth about tracking, tracking helped me lose the weight. It just works for me. If I’m avoiding tracking or are unhappy about the numbers in my tracker, then I have to consider why. I don’t like seeing 30 SmartPoints in my tracker tonight. Why’d I do it? I had eaten dessert, I was satisfied with dinner. I think the reason why I ate the extra dessert is because I had a giant bag full of work that had to get done. It took me from when I got home, (excluding making dinner, running my son to Nokado) till 10:45 pm. Obviously, this was frustrating and that probably had something to do with my choice to eat the fig bars.
Somedays are harder than others and today is one of those days. There was this delicious Carvel chocolate dipped ice-cream cone in my freezer. This blog is a place for the truth so I decided to that I should go ahead and have it. This is not a diet, there are no foods off limits. I can eat it if I want to. As I was taking out the cone from the paper bag, I was thinking, “I’m having it I want it.” Then I heard myself say, “Eat it but track it.” I laid it out on the table and looked at it, as I was keying in the letters…
I wasn’t able to find it so I began to scroll down checking out some of the other comparable choices 12, 14, 20 SmartPoints… I sighed, and thought about it because my goal this week is to be more present and intentional about my choices. I thought about how I practiced mediation this morning before getting out of bed. I thought about how I’m not really hungry. I thought about how far I’ve come, and how hard it was to get here. I put the cone back into the brown paper bag and slid the freezer door shut.
Why did I want the cone? Could be that I have some work to do that I don’t want to do right now. It could be that since I am feeling good physically I can fool myself into thinking that I can just eat whatever I want in whatever amounts. I might be thinking it’ll be fine, I can eat that because look at me I look good. It could be so many reasons. I think the more important thing for me to consider right now is how hard it was to say, “No.” to it. That was really hard in the moment. The moment is passed and now it feels easier, but in that moment, I had to really work hard to maintain my composure to think through it.