Night Owl, that is the name of my ring tone. It’s kind of a funny name for an early morning alarm, now that I think of it. Early morning means 4:20 am this morning. Wake up! it burst open into the quiet dark, I rolled over, sheets twisted around my torso and tapped it to silence. Darkness and silence filled the void again and I thought quickly, Just get up…
I went to spin class before work today and (to me) it was so worth the early morning wake up. Activity helps me to maintain weight loss and it also just makes me feel good. What activity makes you feel good? Think about it and try to figure out a way to make that activity part of your life. If you’re not sure, make a goal to try out different activities until you find something you really like.
Even though I have a reasonable goal and good plan executing it can be difficult. The only thing I can say about how it’s going is that it could be worse. I have not rolled over any points yet, tomorrow is another day, a fresh start, and it’s time to start over again.
If you are struggling know you’re not alone. You can do it even if it’s not going well right now. It’s never too late for a do over.
In terms of my weight loss and maintenance goals it was a great week. I achieved my fitness goal: I went to spin class three times. In terms of food, I will rollover 35sp. today and I did not feel deprived or hungry. Plus, there are a few little moments that happened during the week that I can celebrate:
I was mindful about what I chose to snack on my ride home today. I went with a (very) small apple instead of a snack bag of chips.
Two days ago, I read my action plan that is hung on my refrigerator and that helped me to realize what was really going on – I wasn’t hungry I was stressed in a moment.
I reflected and worked on some strong emotions about a disappointing relationship
Well, it’s no wonder I’m so tired! Busy week, and a lot to deal with. I am just glad to be home on this cold March night and am looking forward to getting some good rest. I weigh in tomorrow and I think my efforts will be reflected on the scale, but even if they aren’t I had a great week.
I made it by the skin of my teeth to spin class today. The lights were off, and the class had begun and I got one of the last bikes. Phew… By the end of class, heard this song it was fantastic…
Pressure is one of those songs for me, it’s so genuine. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. Maybe it has stuck with me because of the physical exhaustion (it was a very challenging class). Maybe it still lingers because of the way Freddie Mercury and David Bowie’s voices compliment each other. So different but perfectly matched. I think the real reason it endures today is because by the end of the song they are singing about love.
Love is what it’s all about. Think about it, anything big in life begins with love. I challenge you to think about your weight loss journey as an expression of love. Daily life is full to brim of pressure, and weight loss requires care, time, and attention. For so many of us that’s daunting and the first feeling that pressure stirs up is that it’s selfish to take that care, time, and attention on something that is just for you. Think again. It’s an expression of love for the life we’ve been given. I would bet, that the people who love you most want you to love yourself.
I found a penny on the floor – head’s up! I must be lucky. March, makes me think of four-leaf clovers, rainbows, and pots of gold. I think about winning the lottery and who I would share my fortune with, the house I would buy, having a chef and personal shopper. It is so fun to imagine success just dropping into my lap and getting what I want without effort or perseverance.
Back to reality. So, what does it mean to be successful? I didn’t officially weigh-in today because it snowed during the night and our roads weren’t plowed. I weighed myself at home on my WW scale and I lost weight this week. That’s good because my weight has been fluctuating but within my Lifetime range. I think that makes me successful. I’m doing it – I’m maintaining my weight loss. Unlike a four-leaf clover, or a heads up penny I don’t have to search for it or stumble upon it – I can make it happen.
My weight loss journey is teaching me that I can make my own luck I can change my world and make things happen. It’s not really luck, it’s power. I’m in touch with my own power. Having a sense of personal power doesn’t mean that it’s always great. It’s not – I have to work for it. If you read yesterday’s post then you know sometimes I get overwhelmed. Not today. Today has been pretty good.
I’m making some progress with my work.
I had a very productive meeting.
I still managed to have some fun with my kids.
My last words for tonight’s post, say yes. Take this journey to weight loss and better health. Take it with a generous heart and without presupposed expectations. Take it because it is something you can do for yourself that you will appreciate. Take with kind words in your thoughts, and belief in your heart. You can do this.
I ate too much yesterday and now I feel like a failure. I let old habits creep in and I ate mindlessly. Failure isn’t fun. My rational mind says, “Don’t be ridiculous, you’re being dumb.” While my emotional mind says “Yep, you blew it. Back to old habits.” The two vacillate back and forth as if it’s a vengeful tennis match and my neck hurts from whiplash as I watch the volley.
Hey, did you notice that neither voice was very kind? I just did reading this back to myself.
As my friend, Regina would say, “I’m going to throw myself a pity party.” This is so damn hard sometimes. I wish, wish, wish it weren’t but it is and I don’t think it will ever get easier. I think I’m always going to have to think about this and fight my natural predisposition about food. That sucks, that really sucks, boo-hoo… That’s it. That’s all I have to say about that. It actually helps to say that here because this blog is my place to always tell the truth about what it takes to lose weight and maintain my weight loss. It just plain old sucks.
So what’s next? Well, I printed my action plan. The one I wrote the other day – and I’m putting it up and am going to carry it around with me. I can try that. I can forgive myself because this is hard, and I have done something amazing – I lost 93 pounds. That’s literally a huge accomplishment. Today I entered my code for my #WW #LIFETIME status and that is something to be really proud of – I did that – me. I can remind myself of all of this as I write this post sitting in my kitchen, cooking homemade sauce in my size four jeans. I’m doing this for me and I am hoping my words are reaching you and inspiring you to do the same.
Sometimes I go over my points allotment. It’s ok that’s just living my life. I think the important thing is to track it even when it’s outside of the healthy eating zone. If I don’t the only person I’m lying to is me. That’s just silly.
Full disclosure, I used 40 Smartpoints today. I went out to dinner with my husband, I had a cocktail and that’s all it took. WW is designed to accommodate real life. That’s why they give us these extra points, I used some today. How do I recover? Well, I put myself on the list for spin tomorrow and I plan on making great food choices tomorrow. I had a nice time. Yes, I had some fun 🙂 and I’m moving on.
One thing I’m proud of is that since I decided to have a cocktail, I didn’t have dessert. I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but this is progress for me. I am really learning how to maintain my weight loss.
This is yesterday’s post (my blog wouldn’t let me post it last night):
So… I gained four pounds this week. I don’t know what to say about that. If you read my blog you know that I’ve been struggling. This is what maintaining weight loss is. I am trying to rewire my brain to understand that there are limits when it comes to food. I’m pretty disappointed about the gain. I know there are lots of people who understand how I feel. They understand because maintaining weight loss can be difficult. However, when I think about my life, I have accomplished many difficult things so really, why not this?
I am determined to accomplish this goal. The rest of my life cannot be “less than” it could be. I want to have as much energy and physical strength as a possible. In order to make that happen, a big part of my “why” has to do with maintaining my weight loss. I want to be able to wear clothes that I like and feel confident and (for me) that involves maintaining my weight loss. These are very good reasons to keep at this.
I am very proud of myself for making my weight loss journey happen. It took a lot of effort, care, and attention to get to goal. I worked hard at this, and manged to enjoy the process throughout my ups and downs. Having goals to work towards is great, but it is also very important to recognize and appreciate “the now” and where I’m at right now is pretty good.
My plan for the week:
Track all my food
Meet my fitness goal
Monitor my emotions
Hopefully this time next week, I’ll be celebrating “Lifetime” status. Fingers crossed wish me some luck because a little good luck never hurt anyone.