Day Six…

Losing weight doesn’t take away feelings of frustration, or disappointment. It’s not a magic bullet and it definitely wasn’t an easy thing to do. Losing weight doesn’t mean I’m a “stronger” person than I used to be. It doesn’t mean I’m more successful than I was before. It’s not that I’m more worthy and ought to be valued more now that I’ve reached this goal.

Yet, now that I’ve lost this weight, I am dealing with a new reality. People don’t understand why I would still need #WW. They don’t get it and they say things like, “Well, you don’t want to lose any more weight. Do you?”  I just have to shake my head and wonder why it seems as though everything to do with weight loss is colored by so much judgment.

Words of Wisdom

There is so much societal pressure wrapped up in appearances isn’t there? So whenever I see others who struggle with weight I feel a very strong connection to them.  I really understand what it feels like to be so visibly judged. One time I overheard two people making a joke at my expense. They were referencing the fluctuation in my weight, “Is she losing or gaining?” Yeah, that hurt and it made me feel bad. I would readily give up my will to those negative feelings and I would give away my sense of power and control.

I would feel “less than” as if I was somehow not as good as someone else.  Which is strange because I was not raised that way. I was a child who came from a loving family who built me up and gave me mountains of courage.  This journey to better health has put me more in touch with that part of me. The part of me who believes in herself and who is brave because she is willing to be vulnerable. My weight loss is doing that because it is an extension of self-love and caring.

I am not just one thing – a healthy weight or overweight. Disciplined or out of control. I am a complex person with many shades of all these things. Resisting the label or the box that we all seem to tend to construct around ourselves and others is the thing I have to be most wary of because it minimizes everything I’ve worked to achieve. I am trying to become more fully present and aware of who I want to be and how I want to live my life.

So … 

We shall see what tomorrow brings. I will let you know how the first week on maintenance went.  As always thank you for reading, for your generosity and support.

Day Four Hundred Twenty…

Waking up at 4:30 am may not sound that appealing, but I have to say, I do love working out before I start my workday. It’s a little bit of time that is just for me. Plus, I really do enjoy the other people who go to my 5;15 am spin classes. This morning’s class was a fantastic time and in by the end, I felt very strong.

It’s a little startling how different I feel these days.  I have this sense of wellbeing and balance that I didn’t have before. I read a post on #Connect from another member who posted a picture and wrote that she was fed up and was now ready. Today was her “Day 1” As a member who began counting the days over a year ago (420 and counting) I can appreciate where she is coming from. For those of us who either have or had a lot of weight to lose, the first day of the journey to better health can be overwhelming.

Nothing about weight loss is easy. There is no one right way to do this. So for me, I am definitely a #WW girl through and through. I’m happy to be on this team. The thing that makes #WW work is that it is designed to be customized to us as individuals. Everything has to start with who we are and our specific needs. More and more research is showing that food is processed differently from person to person, so knowing how to best use our SmartPoints is an important personal choice that leads to permanent change.

#WW members have conversations about making activity enjoyable and part of our daily lives is a powerful conversation. Acknowledging how to manage emotions without resorting to overeating is equally powerful. Understanding the value of a growth mindset and establishing good habits are also discussed. Powerful, life-changing stuff!

So tomorrow is Halloween… what is your action plan for the candy situation?

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