In November 2018 I made it to my WW goal. My motivation for getting to goal was to get my energy and confidence back. I wanted to get back that sense of “lightness” that sense of ease I used to have moving around in the world. That why was enough to sustain me and carry me through over a year of effort. I was elated.
Since achieving goal, I have gone on to be a Lifetime member. In WW world that means you no longer have to pay so long as you maintain a two pound range. I was able to maintain that until August this year. Right now, I am above that two pound range and have some work to get back to my “free seat”.
Things are a bit different this go around though. Even though I’m outside my range, I still have the energy I strived for, and I do feel that same sense of confidence. My clothes fit; although some of my jeans are a little tight, which I don’t care for that very much… I am 13 pounds away from Lifetime. This time, getting back to goal has to be driven by a why, it has to be one that fits my current situation.
I don’t want my why to be driven by fear of gaining back the weight. I want my why to be a positive thing, something that will inspire me and (I hope) others. I want to learn how to be mindful, someone who understand herself better. I want to try to grow beyond this struggle. I’m not sure exactly how I will do this yet… but this is what I’m thinking. My why is a work in progress but I think I’m getting closer.
I don’t think I ever fully appreciated the phrase, “that was a lucky mistake” before. It’s been my experience that it’s just no fun to make mistakes. There are lots of negative feelings that accompany them, feelings like, shame, embarrassment, fear, and vulnerability. Do you think it’s possible to move past these negative feelings and feel grateful for the mistakes you’ve made? How would looking at mistakes through a lens of gratitude be beneficial? I wonder, does it always have to be that way? I’m starting to think it doesn’t have to be that way, I think I can write my own rules when it comes to mistakes. I want to be more generous with myself, I want to lean into being more reflective and honest. I want to use my mistakes as a stepping stone for growth.
This week’s goal to be mindful during bedtime rituals and making sure I get enough sleep is going so much better than last week’s goal to roll over SmartPoints. Now I know, nurturing goals are working better for me. For where I’m at, right now on the journey, focusing on taking care of myself is more helpful. I only know that because I made a mistake last week.
So I used 47 SmartPoints today. Crazy. You may be thinking, ok that’s the real reason she’s writing about mistakes… But here is a little history lesson about my family. One of our traditions is that we spend St. Patrick’s Day with my brother and his family. All us “kids” get together have a great time and part of that is sharing a delicious meal. No one is left out; there is no drama, just good times. WW is teaching me how to do that and still be successful on my weight loss journey.
In my past a 47 SmartPoint day might have derailed my entire week. That’s not going to happen this time, I have learned from that mistake. I now understand how to avoid that outcome. That’s growth, and that self-discovery and that is a very big deal. How’s it going? What mistakes have helped you to grow? My advise, don’t run from mistakes look at them as an opportunity to learn, I think it’s just better that way.