Day Two Hundred Twenty-Three

The day started on a good note. I woke up ten minutes before my alarm. I felt rested and awake, I headed out to spin class and had a great time. This is the last day of a long work week, so I was looking forward to a productive day and the reward of the weekend.

Leaving the gym
The early morning light was really pretty.

Well, the day was a rough one. It’s not that any one part of it was so bad, but everything was just a little bit off. It’s one of those days.  My weight loss has enabled me to get in touch with my sense of power and control.  Writing has given me the gift of reflection and I am so grateful that I figured this part out. Sending these posts out there is very cathartic because I know that you are reading them. I have a sense that you can relate to my struggles and that helps so much.  There are going to be hard days on the journey, but this day is just a moment when I think about the scale of a little over seven months of doing this.

2  SmartPoints
My friend just started Weight Watchers and I brought her one of these they are great only 2 SmartPoints per bag.

My week in numbers…  I used 22 SmartPoints today and rolled over 50 for the week. I had 255 minutes of activity and earned 60 FitPoints.  I think the scale will be kind to me tomorrow but since I can’t control what it will read, I don’t want to dwell on that too much.  I’m doing great no matter what the scale reads, and there are no promises made for effort – I’m doing this for myself and that is good enough for me.

 

 

 

 

Day Two Hundred Twenty-Two…

“You look fabulous.” She whispered to me at the side of the table.  Her eyes were bright and she had a big smile. “You look so confident, you can see the confidence all over your face.”  I am so grateful for these kind words, just writing them down I have this big dopey smile on my face because I really feel so good inside and it’s nice to have others see it on the outside too.

So wearing these pants today is a big deal for me. I have held onto them for seven years, believing that one day I’d be able to wear them. Today was the day:

I am thinking about this week’s topic (for me, because my meeting is on Saturday) of being an optimist but also being a realist too. The message to members is to be optimistic when we go off plan and to also be a realist who makes a plan to get back on track. While this is good advice to think on, I also think it’s important to be hopeful.  I’m not sure you can be an optimist if you don’t have hope. Hope is the thing that made me hold onto those pants in the first place.

So, be hopeful – believe in yourself because you are amazing. You can do anything you set your mind to. There will certainly be difficult days, expect them. When those days come to you, hold on to your #why and you will make it through. When you go off the rails, go to your support system. Count me in! I will support your efforts because anyone who really wants to make a healthy change is someone I can relate to. I am inspired by people every day who are working the program and getting amazing results. We are better together and there is no time better than now to get started.

 

Day Two Hundred Twenty-One…

I hit a milestone today.  A friend gave me these pants over seven years ago and they have never fit me. Until today, and tomorrow is the day I will wear them to work:

Goal Pants
These pants are a size 6 that is crazy!

Tomorrow is also, the last day of after-school professional development! I’m very excited to end it feeling good about myself. I definitely feel physically changed, and I  have a great sense of momentum, I think it really won’t be that long till I make it goal.

Screen Shot 2018-04-11 at 10.15.02 PM

eA while back, I wrote a grant to attend a conference and…  I won! I am going to attend the NCTE 2018 Conference in Houston Texas with my good friend. More testimony for the “power of the pen”.  I am so grateful for this opportunity because there would have been no way I could have afforded this trip on my own.

It is true, you never know what you can do until you try.  Remeber, you, are worth the effort.

Love

 

 

Day Two Hundred-Twenty…

“Mom, where are you?” His quiet low voice sounded oddly loud threw the Bluetooth.

“Almost home, I’m turning onto Old Bridge Rd,” I answered cheerfully, I’m actually going to make it to my spin class after this crazy long day.  

“Well, I have to go to Nokado, I’m going to be late.” 

I took a long deep breath, Nokado? That means I have to drive back in the direction I just came from… I’ve been driving for over an hour. I cleared my throat, “Where’s Daddy, why can’t he take you?” 

“He took Hayley to school. You have to take me.”

I sighed, “Ok, make sure you grab a bottle of water, I’m almost home.”  I turned onto our street and started running down the list: I’ll take him, then I’ll lay out my clothes, pack and (pre)track my breakfast and lunch, what are we eating for dinner tonight? Oh yeah, we have those frozen chicken burgers and they are 5 SmartPoints I like those… wait, we need rolls.  I have to finish the tax stuff, I have to pre-tweet the Twitter Chat questions this week try to make that a priority, maybe I’ll be able to make back in time for spin…

The Beat Goes On Because Sometimes Plans Don’t Work Out 

As I stop the world and take this bit time to reflect and write my story for the day; I wonder about everyone else’s story.  What does the rest of today hold for the teachers who had to stay after school with me?  I wonder about all of you who are devoting a bit of time to read this post, what is your story for today? I like to believe that we are all out there in the world trying our best to make a positive impact.  Life is complicated. Life is overwhelming. Life is likely to present challenges.

In case you were wondering how it worked out, my son did make it to Nokado exactly on time and I did not get back in time to make the spin class. It certainly was another very long day.  Day number two of after-school professional development is (officially) on the books. I had hoped to be able to get some energy back this afternoon by getting in activity. I was up too late last night to go before work. It didn’t work out and in the past, that might have soured my entire day. It didn’t today, and I’d like to tell you why.

It’s funny, but it’s only now that I am thinking about it that I realize how important it is to try not to take out disappointment or frustration out on the people around me (hello petty arguments, stinky attitudes, or sarcasm). It’s also really important not to beat up on myself either (hello cookies, cake, or chips). None of those scenarios happened and the difference is being a victim or being my own hero. What’s the secret? Here is what you can do in three moves to shift your perspective:

  1. Allow yourself to really feel the feeling
  2. Name what happened and name the feeling
  3. Decide what you can do and take some time for yourself

This is what I did:

  1. I experienced annoyance, frustration, defeated because there’s so much to do
  2. Now I have to drive David and I can’t do what I wanted I’m overwhelmed
  3. I’ll drive David.  I’ll write my post instead of going to spin and prioritize the rest

Like so many important lessons, once you get it, it’s hard to understand why it was so difficult to learn in the first place. I get it now. I’m learning every day and I have a very grateful heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading.

 

 

Day Two Hundred-Nineteen…

I am teaching after school four out of five days this week. Today was the first of those days. So, when I got home, did a quick change and went off to yoga…

At the yoga studio, the lights were dimmed, mellow music was playing softly, and there was a distinct earthy smell of scented candles. The teacher asked us to close our eyes and concentrate on our breathing, the next thing I heard was my sister knocking on the floor next to me, “Jenn… are you asleep?” I fell asleep during my yoga warm-up!

Namaste
I bow to the god within you.

In the end, I had a good workout and actually broke out in a sweat during parts. I came home whipped up a quick low point dinner, and now I’m pretty unmotivated to anything else.  The problem is my day is not close to being done yet: there is still more work to do, I have to pack and (pre)track breakfast and lunch for tomorrow. It is so easy to feel overwhelmed. I wonder, can you relate?

Angry face
I can relate!

I think that’s why people hesitate to take on the challenge of a weight loss journey. The thing I have to remember is that doing activities like going to yoga, or (pre)tracking my meals, and taking time to write, are all ways to care for myself. When I take time for self-care it helps me to be able to manage everything else.

Yes!

  • Yes, I’m going to spin tomorrow
  • Yes, I’m going to get up and go down to the kitchen to pack & (pre)track my food
  • Yes, I’m taking a little time to write and reflect on my day
  • Yes, I’m going to be kind to myself because I’m doing my best
  • Yes, I am good enough and so are you

Day Two Hundred-Eighteen…

I have not worn a size B pantyhose in a very long time. This is a milestone for me because it helps me to acknowledge how far I’ve come on the journey. Today was a special day, I got all dressed up and went to a baby shower. There is something wonderful about the combination of a spring day and a baby shower.  I have to say, I actually felt – pretty.  My husband took my picture – and I let him – this is a big deal too.

I went to the party had a great time. I went knowing that I had a strategy for how to handle the unexpected foods, and indulgences I was sure to encounter. I started the day with activity and a low point breakfast…

I ate what I wanted, and I was mindful. I didn’t just eat because it was on my plate I  asked for the sauce for my chicken dish to be served on the side, so my lunch was much lighter than it would have been. I made sure to record it all in my tracker. These choices were all informed by the wisdom of other members.

Emily

Emily’s insightful words really resonated because they ring so true. Tracking keeps me on the path.  It’s such a relief to just be honest with myself about my struggle with food. I have spent a lot of time shirking the truth and avoiding my issues altogether. Tracking the foods I eat and reflecting on my choices, changes things in important ways. Tracking is objective, it gives me information to help me take actionable steps so I can improve. When I look at it that way, I don’t see tracking as an obligatory thing as if it were a life sentence – I see it as a something that is actually granting me the freedom to live my life.  Today, tracking enabled me to have a really delicious piece of cake and still be on plan. It feels like cheating but it’s not it’s just living my life. Truly, amazing.

If you want to change your lifestyle and relationship with food, know that you can do it so long as you are very clear as to why you want to make this change.  So why do you want to make the change?   When you answer that question, all sorts of things will begin to change for the better.

Day Two Hundred-Seventeen…

If you are considering joining Weight Watchers. don’t wait, join today. I say this because the meetings will change your whole experience with weight loss.  As I sat and listened to the group I was struck by their collective generosity, care, and wisdom. I felt elated as I listened to Bob, Gail, Emily, and Vivian who all living the plan in their own ways and experiencing success.  I was as happy for them as I am for myself because I understand that kind of joy.

MEETING PONDERINGS
This is what I was thinking about during my meeting the difference between an intention and a wish is the commitment to change. It’s ok either way because wishes can take root and grow.

I listened closely to members who are struggling too – I listened with an open heart because I understand the struggle. I feel very connected to other Weight Watchers members because there is a special kinship we share. We are all trying to change ourselves for the better. It’s not just the physical benefits of weight loss, it’s the understanding that we all have the power to transform our minds too.  Understanding that I am part of something bigger than myself makes the journey really beautiful.

Maxine Greene

My week in numbers: – 2 pounds a total of 71.8 pounds down. It’s going well, I’m losing at a healthy rate, I feel really good, and I am a lot more active. So, if you are thinking about doing this – join us you can do it!