Work was challenging today. I’ve gotten to the point where I leave signs outside of my office for family members…
It is really difficult to record lessons and sit through the torcher of listening/watching them back. The pursuit of perfection is a very real danger in this circumstance. I feel like there is always something I could do better. I see a pattern between this experience and my weight loss goals
As I try to find my groove on plan, if I go for perfection, I am doomed. I have to face it, I am not a perfection kind of girl. There will always be something I can do better. So long as I live, there will always be a “next time” I will work on… That is the kind of person I am, and I am starting to really embrace this basic truth about myself. It’s not reasonable to expect perfection! The absence of perfection offers something that may be better, an opportunity to improve. Once there is no improving, there is no living really.
Getting back into good habits feels like relearning a line dance. I turn left, when everyone else turns right. I step forward when everyone is stepping back. Finally I fall in step with the others on the grapevine, hitting the double clap – I got it. Today was a good day on plan. I am rolling over points and I am not hungry. It’s a win.
I am embracing the fresh start effect I feel right now and am very hopeful that I am finding my way back to healthy habits. You may read that a lot over the next week, because it is important for me to hear these words so I can make it be true. I am shifting my focus to a learning stance by setting goals and measuring my progress. I am using my Recovery Checklist and it is helping me to celebrate what I am doing and it helps to keep it real.
Thanks to Shelley who is a member of the Stanford CT/ Greenlawn NY WW Zoom group who made a suggestion to write a list of positive words for each letter of the alphabet. She inspired me to think about a list of words that make me feel strong and then I created this:
Why do this? If I am going to be real with you I have to say, today feels like a lot of work to stay on track with healthy habits. It would be nice to ignore serving sizes, or not to not to have to debate one food choice over another. I really would like two pieces of pizza and that glass of wine. Don’t say it. I know I can have both but if I want more immediate success I really can’t. So now is a good time to circle back to my why – not just in the words that I share but with my whole being. Why do this?
I am doing this because I like having energy. I like being able to move more freely. I want to remain in the best health possible for the rest of my life. I like having lots of choice in the clothes I can wear. I like recognizing my own face in the mirror, when I was at my heaviness I was unrecognizable to myself. I remember how I felt back then, I remember how I felt after I achieved Goal and Lifetime status. The thing I remember the most was the good feeing of self control. These are the reasons that define my “why” so I am going to stick with it and power through.
We use movies to make sense of our lives sometimes. Everyone I know keeps saying how this pandemic has made it feel like the movie, Groundhog Day:
I must confess, if I were in touch with my healthy habits, I wish I felt like this were Groundhog Day. That would mean every day I would be connected to my healthy habits, I would be be on my way back to goal and I would be feeling in control and full of energy.
My reality is this – I’ve slipped and that morphed into a slide, and now I am on the floor staring up at the ceiling. I have written about this movie before, but now (more than ever) I think the movie that captures my narrative during this terrible time needs to be Captain Marvel:
Now is when I get back up and try again. I am only human, and I forgive my lapse and I believe I have the power to shape my experiences at least in terms of my weight loss goals moving forward. My name is Jenn, and today is my “clean slate day”, This is how I am going to start again:
Gain inspiration from others, I am going to attend a daily meetings
Write a post each day so I connect with others who understand
Track every meal because it works, and I can help myself
Checkin & and find ways to help me deal with stress
Start a bedtime routine to decompress and rest
I am feeling a lot of gratitude for my sister, Virginia, and my friend, Beth. They have both reached out to me and helped me in ways they probably don’t even understand. Virginia checks in and encourages me to do the things I don’t want to but I know I need to hear – weigh yourself… how are you doing on plan… Beth reached out after a meeting and let me know that it’s not just me there is struggle everywhere. Then she suggested I try other digital workshops, I did that today. Today, I attended a meeting in NYC hosted by Annie S. who was amazing. I left feeling very inspired.
As I reflect and consider what I am going to bring with me today, it is that although no one can forge my journey except me, I can connect with community to help myself get back on track. In a crazy world where everything feels out of control, I still have that power over this part of my life, my health and weight loss journey, and that helps. You help, thank you for reading.
Another good day on plan. I am rolling over four SmartPoints. This morning I tried that hot water cinnamon/lemon/honey mixture I wrote about yesterday. I liked it a lot and I think I’ll do it again tomorrow. The honey is 4 SmartPoints so that’s a little steep but it I wasn’t hungry for a long time today. I don’t know if is in my head or if it really does work but since it worked I guess that’s all that really matters.
January 6, 2020 Challenge
Here is a list of what I think I do well:
Being a wife and mother
Being a friend
Being a learner
Being a teacher
Being a writer
As I look at my list I think about what it says about me. I am fortunate to have people to love and who love me back. I curious about the world around me and I want to keep learning so I continue to grow. In a stressful world I think it’s good for all of us to recognize the good stuff that’s within us – try it write your own list. Celebrate what you do well, it’s not bragging it is kindness turned inward.
The holidays are extremely challenging when it comes to weight loss efforts. There is so much great food around, that staying on plan becomes difficult. Right now, in my kitchen there is a lovely apple pie and sitting in my freezer is a full tub of creamy full-fat vanilla ice cream. I am going to a family function tomorrow and this is my contribution ( I’m also bringing fresh fruit salad).
Something is working though, because I am down another 1.4 pounds! This is the fourth week in a row that I have gone down on the scale. Down, during a time of year when I usually go up. My WW coach refers to this time of year as the Bermuda Triangle, the time between Halloween, Thanksgiving, and December Holidays. So actually experiencing success right now is especially sweet.
I’m doing this, 100% I’m in it to get results and it’s working, and that’s just what I wanted this year.
There were some landmines today with my Sugar Free challenge. We went to my favorite bakery and I didn’t get a cookie. I looked at them from the other side of the glass and some people did eat them. Not me, and I’m happy about that accomplishment. The next landmine? When I was at Trader Joe’s they were giving away little slices of lemon cake. It looked goo, but I just said, “I can’t, my sugar free challenge is still going on.” So I kept my resolve not once but twice.
I’m going to start my activity and sleep challenge. I want to get at least three days of activity in for the week, and I want to go to bed each night no later than 10:30 pm or 9:30 pm (if I’m planning to get some activity before work). This would be a good 6 – 7 hours of quality sleep. I think that’s just what I need consistent quality sleep and some activity that will help give me that extra boost.
Well, readers, I think I’m fading. I have to say, “Good night. I’ll see you in the morning. :
I had a great day on plan. It’s the first great day in a long while. It’s been a total of fourteen days since I wrote my last post and tonight I am writing from my heart. My weight loss journey is very important to me it has given me both confidence and energy. It has shown me that I can overcome obstacles and reclaim my personal sense of power. Since I’ve been on this journey, I have made important self-discoveries because writing these posts has pushed me to be more reflective. I am extremely grateful.
Even with all of these positive rewards, this is still hard. If you find yourself in a similar spot (thinking this is too hard) I hope you will give yourself the time and space you need to reengage with your weight loss efforts. You can do this, don’t forget that because it’s the truth. Thank you for reading. More tomorrow…
WW’s focus this week was about sleep, and now I’m thinking about how important getting quality sleep is to my weight loss journey. I think the reason I gained weight in the first place was because I would stay up late to work and wouldn’t get enough sleep. I would eat when I should have been sleeping. Here are some reasons to consider:
Studies suggest that poor sleep leads to obesity.
Sleep depravation increases appetite.
Well rested people can stave off cravings and make healthier choices.
Late night snacking can becomes a very unhealthy habit
Muscle loss results in poor sleep.
Sleep improves physical performance.
Poor sleep over a few days may result in insulin resistance
If you want to read more about sleep, click here it’s a good read, and very informative.
A couple of things…
I couple of things I did today that in the moment was hard to do but afterward made me feel great. I bought good options when I went to the food store including: cotton candy grapes, cauliflower, snap peas, lean pork tenderloin, and chicken. Later, I wanted a snack, and I put it into my tracker first, when I saw that it would take me out of my “Blue Dot” zone, I decided to pass on it. Then I selected a lower point snack that was satisfying and I am still on track.
It was my turn to submit a journal challenge to the group. I named it, “On Fire! Tools Spark Weight Loss & Wellness” I found reflecting on my tools to be very useful and I thought other people might too. If you would like to do the challenge… here it is::