I was proud of myself for not eating candy at professional development, tonight. I said it aloud a couple of times, “I’m not eating any candy.” I left for home (two hours after the end of my school day). I ate my apple on my drive home, and when I arrived had dinner in the crock pot all ready to go. These were all the good choices I made.
Well… I just ate a little more than 1/4 cup of chocolate chips. How bad can it be? Pretty bad… 16 SmartPoints. The taste of chocolate still lingers, and I know this decision will have an impact on my weight loss this week. Maybe I should have eaten a piece of candy before, but I really didn’t want to, I want to reach my goal. Now I feel a little too full, and a bit disappointed. This blog is my place for reflection and truth so there it is for all of you to read.
The good news is, I don’t have to be perfect to be successful on my weight loss journey. Perfection is for sleeping babies, rolling landscapes, and a nice hot cup of coffee. My weight loss journey is about reflection, practice and personal growth. So after I hit “Publish” I will head into the kitchen pour myself a nice big glass of water and initiate a “do over!” I will forgive myself for a poor choice, one that takes me farther from my goal. Then after that, I will just add the decision to forgive and move on over to another good choice for today.
I intended to write a longer post than the one you’re about to read. I had a great day on plan:
I created a little gift to share so we can all start 2020 out with some daily goals that will help us take action to make meaningful change. I hand wrote the list for my WW community, and I created an online version to share here. The online version has links to articles, videos, and tools. I hope you enjoy it:
More tomorrow readers, may we all reach goal in 2020!
The holidays are extremely challenging when it comes to weight loss efforts. There is so much great food around, that staying on plan becomes difficult. Right now, in my kitchen there is a lovely apple pie and sitting in my freezer is a full tub of creamy full-fat vanilla ice cream. I am going to a family function tomorrow and this is my contribution ( I’m also bringing fresh fruit salad).
Something is working though, because I am down another 1.4 pounds! This is the fourth week in a row that I have gone down on the scale. Down, during a time of year when I usually go up. My WW coach refers to this time of year as the Bermuda Triangle, the time between Halloween, Thanksgiving, and December Holidays. So actually experiencing success right now is especially sweet.
I’m doing this, 100% I’m in it to get results and it’s working, and that’s just what I wanted this year.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to get through that moment of, “I want..” It doesn’t matter what the “want” is, not really, the real problem is the feeling that comes with it. When the “want” comes on, it feels feels bigger and stronger than me. This happened to me tonight, I had that frustrating pull of “I want some candy.” I have candy in the house, and I kept thinking about it. I was able to keep it together until the moment passed.
Now that I am released from my desire to eat candy, really that sounds crazy, what is next? How do I learn from this experience? I think now that I fully lived in the moment of “want”, that I named it and let myself acknowledge its power – I can recognize it when it comes around again. This will happen again, and if I expect it maybe it will be easier next time. Maybe this is the thing I have to learn to get over my hump and make it back to goal.
So if you’re reading this post, and anything rings true with your own experiences, you know you are not alone. If you are feeling challenged, or if you are really struggling, it’s not your fault. This is hard, but your “why” is strong enough, you can do it.
There were some landmines today with my Sugar Free challenge. We went to my favorite bakery and I didn’t get a cookie. I looked at them from the other side of the glass and some people did eat them. Not me, and I’m happy about that accomplishment. The next landmine? When I was at Trader Joe’s they were giving away little slices of lemon cake. It looked goo, but I just said, “I can’t, my sugar free challenge is still going on.” So I kept my resolve not once but twice.
I’m going to start my activity and sleep challenge. I want to get at least three days of activity in for the week, and I want to go to bed each night no later than 10:30 pm or 9:30 pm (if I’m planning to get some activity before work). This would be a good 6 – 7 hours of quality sleep. I think that’s just what I need consistent quality sleep and some activity that will help give me that extra boost.
Well, readers, I think I’m fading. I have to say, “Good night. I’ll see you in the morning. :
I lost 1 pound this week! This is a huge accomplishment and I am happy to be heading back towards Lifetime status. Any challenge in life is meant to change us. So I have to ask myself, What are you learning on your way back to goal? This what I’m thinking about:
No matter how great I am doing, I will never be done with this, and I need to expect struggle as well as success along the way.
Lasting weight loss stems from healthy food choices, regular activity, and a growth mindset believing I can learn and change.
There is no one “right way” to do this well and I can work on being flexible because how I do it will change over time.
Workshop gave me a lot to think about today. Many people shared about dealing with all the parties, holiday visits, and cookie swaps. We celebrated each other as we shared the choices we made, so we remained on plan:
Grilled chicken instead of a hamburger
Eating at home prior to the party so she’s not famished.
An apple instead of ice cream.
Some grapes instead of cookies.
Drinking water instead of wine.
I could understand it if when other people read this list they might be thinking, “Oh that’s so sad. These people are missing out on the fun.” Untrue. I say amazing! These people had fun, and made intentional choices so they may accomplish their goals. That is to be admired not pitied. It also would be just fine if someone decided to eat cookies instead of grapes. WW is teaching us how to live our lives in the real world, lose weight, and be healthier. So keep at this, take some time to tinker with the program whether you’re “Green” “Blue” or “Purple” see what foods satisfy you. Be really interested in you and your progress. You can do it!
I was a little hungry at certain points in the day today. I did have a nice selection of good healthy snacks and that was helpful. I brought vegetable sticks, grapes, and halos. Then when I came home I actually had to have a bowl of Corn Flakes with 1/4 cup fat free milk. I know because I weighed and measured my portions.
For me, this is what life-long weight loss looks like.
On Friday, during professional development, I used a quote from one of my favorite educator/authors, Vicki Vinton to spark some discussion:
If we’re serious about helping students become independent readers who seek to understand through their own agency, we have to be willing to release responsibility before we’re absolutely sure they can do it on their own.”
One insightful teacher said, “This is so true. It’s kind of like teaching your kid to drive. You have to let them go even though you’re not really sure they can do it yet.” My featured image is actually from yesterday. My son was driving. Fear smothers growth, and while it’s difficult to give up control it’s really essential.
I started thinking about control in terms of my weight loss journey. There really is a give and take. I am learning how to face that it’s not possible for me to control every single thing and to be ok with that. Yesterday, I went over my SmartPoints balance and even though that wasn’t the plan it’s still ok. I had pizza for lunch and went to the movies and then I ate some popcorn and that did it. Life is going to happen along the way and that means some spontaneous decision making will follow. That is why WW gives us those extra points. If I had pulled myself back from indulging in those moments this journey will become too stringent for me. I had fun going out with my sister for lunch, I enjoyed being at the movies with my husband. In those moments food was part of the experiences. Maybe another day I would have eaten a salad at the restaurant or maybe the movie popcorn wouldn’t have appealed to me. Maybe, but I wanted pizza and popcorn yesterday. And that’s ok.
So many of us are just so hard on ourselves. I know I’ve made up rules like, I am going to rollover four SmartPoints for the next week each day. Then if for some reason or another that doesn’t happen and I feel so defeated. Even though, I generally use kind words to myself and forgive my own failures and appreciate my own stores of resilience – negativity can still seep in.
When I think about control I really also have to think about choice. My choices do reveal my sense of control. I decided what I would or would not do yesterday. I did that, it wasn’t the food taking over. For me (and please this is just from my own lived experiences) having a history of being significantly overweight comes with some feeling of guilt and shame. It’s my sad sad truth and I have to deal with that. Yesterday, I used 10 extra SmartPoints by the close of the day, and none of those points were used on sugar by the way – so “Day 4” did go as planned. Letting go of my fear that I’m failing at this, is a huge victory. Even after all this time I’m still learning this lesson.
I had a great day on plan. It’s the first great day in a long while. It’s been a total of fourteen days since I wrote my last post and tonight I am writing from my heart. My weight loss journey is very important to me it has given me both confidence and energy. It has shown me that I can overcome obstacles and reclaim my personal sense of power. Since I’ve been on this journey, I have made important self-discoveries because writing these posts has pushed me to be more reflective. I am extremely grateful.
Even with all of these positive rewards, this is still hard. If you find yourself in a similar spot (thinking this is too hard) I hope you will give yourself the time and space you need to reengage with your weight loss efforts. You can do this, don’t forget that because it’s the truth. Thank you for reading. More tomorrow…
I have three days of posts to share. I was working on each and never got them out so get ready for some reading lol…
We went into NYC tonight and had a great time. I am guilty of taking the city for granted because it’s right here in my backyard. It was a gorgeous night and the world was full of vibrant color and sounds:
We went out to eat, I had a salad, but it was loaded with dressing. It would have been better to have a burger and not eat the whole bun. Lately, I think I’ve been eating more than I need, and this is something to take seriously.
One very positive thing to share, as we walked through the city, I felt as vibrant as the city itself. I could get around easily and felt in touch with my own sense of physical power. This was a fantastic feeling, a feeling that (in part) is possible because of my dramatic weight loss. I must try never to forget how far I’ve come.