Every day I walk to and from spin class I see a sign that says Strength. I think that all strength is something that can be developed. Our minds, muscle, will, faith… It takes training and resilience and a steady belief in oneself.
How do you want to grow? What do you believe about yourself? What have you done to develop your strength? These are some questions I’m thinking about as I close out my Sunday.
I stayed in my healthy eating zone and I had two Mallomars (6sp). I went to spin class. I just made it in I was on the Waitlist but I showed up for class first and won the seat. I worked out really hard and now I am ready for bed. We are strong capable people – believe it.
I found a penny on the floor – head’s up! I must be lucky. March, makes me think of four-leaf clovers, rainbows, and pots of gold. I think about winning the lottery and who I would share my fortune with, the house I would buy, having a chef and personal shopper. It is so fun to imagine success just dropping into my lap and getting what I want without effort or perseverance.
Back to reality. So, what does it mean to be successful? I didn’t officially weigh-in today because it snowed during the night and our roads weren’t plowed. I weighed myself at home on my WW scale and I lost weight this week. That’s good because my weight has been fluctuating but within my Lifetime range. I think that makes me successful. I’m doing it – I’m maintaining my weight loss. Unlike a four-leaf clover, or a heads up penny I don’t have to search for it or stumble upon it – I can make it happen.
My weight loss journey is teaching me that I can make my own luck I can change my world and make things happen. It’s not really luck, it’s power. I’m in touch with my own power. Having a sense of personal power doesn’t mean that it’s always great. It’s not – I have to work for it. If you read yesterday’s post then you know sometimes I get overwhelmed. Not today. Today has been pretty good.
I’m making some progress with my work.
I had a very productive meeting.
I still managed to have some fun with my kids.
My last words for tonight’s post, say yes. Take this journey to weight loss and better health. Take it with a generous heart and without presupposed expectations. Take it because it is something you can do for yourself that you will appreciate. Take with kind words in your thoughts, and belief in your heart. You can do this.
As I sit here snacking on the vegetable sticks I didn’t eat from lunch, looking out my dining room window into the grey twilight I’m trying not to feel too overwhelmed. You see, I am trying to think about what is really important and what’s not so important. There are so many different kinds experiences both good and bad and I find that sometimes either kind can make me feel overwhelmed. That’s how I’m feeling right now,
I’m thinking about some big exciting professional goals. I have worked on a project for a long time, years. I have been rejected, dug in and tried again. I have worked tirelessly with the belief Ithat I have something unique to offer. Now it’s almost here, (I can’t announce it yet) and it’s a strange feeling, I’m thrilled and terrified at the same time. Sometimes standing out leaves you open to ridicule. I speak from experience because for one reason or another, since I was a kid to the woman I am today, I find myself always standing out and I feel the same uncertainty. But I keep going because I can’t let fear be my ruler.
I’m also thinking about a person who I thought was a friend to me. I really trusted this person and it turns out I made some misjudgments about her character. She really let me down. I always seem to assume the best about people and I know how gullible that sounds. A woman I knew once told me something about myself that really hit home, it struck me because she was so wise and at the time her words really startled me because I had not myself in this way before. She said, I lead with my heart and that can get me into trouble if I’m not careful. Now I find myself in a similar situation, and I am beginning to understand it and it makes me sad. I love the idea of leading with my heart but the thing is – leading with my heart leaves me so vulnerable all the time. But I keep going and I hope a little wiser because I can’t let sadness be my ruler.
I’m also thinking about the weekend, and how I need to take a breather. I work hard, I am very dedicated to my career. I have some big things coming up next week that are going to require a lot of care and attention. So even though it’s the weekend, there is so much work I still need to do. I’m feeling crumpled under the stress of it at the moment. It makes me feel anxious but I know if I just get started, schedule a little bit each day I will get it done. Letting it sit is what would make it worse. So I keep going because I can’t let anxiety be my ruler.
I’m thinking about weighing in tomorrow as I work to hold onto my last big goal (oh yeah, this is a weight loss blog I lost 93 pounds). I can celebrate that I am not burying my feelings with food. I rolled over 31 points this week. I achieved my fitness goal, and I remained mindful. For example, I elected to try a bit of cinnamon bread, I ate it and really appreciated how good it tasted. Then I tracked it and didn’t go back for more. I just let it be and was happy for the experience of eating that small piece. If I ate more, it would just be more of the same taste and then I’d feel bad because I most certainly would have exceeded my healthy eating zone. That’s what maintenance is – it’s a journey and I can’t let food my ruler.
Even though my situation is the same, I feel better. Thinking through my feelings and honoring them helps. I recommend it. I think most people know that significant weight gain is seldom about cookies, chips, or candy as much as it is about coping. I think I’m better than just coping I think I can be my own ruler who understands that feelings come and feeling go it’s up to me to do what’s best. I can do it, so can you.
I love words. I love them. I collect them, I think about the way certain words sound and how they make me feel when I use them. Words knit together to create these intricate narratives. Words connect learning and understanding as if they were drawn together like constellations across a dark sky. Words amplify our voices for what matters most. Words can carry the torch and shed light on dark places. Words set us free to share who we are and who we aspire to be, at any point in our lives.
I am a word maven.
In the book, The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell refers to mavens as knowledge hubs or “information brokers”. This type of person wants to spread knowledge and that’s how I identify myself. I am a curator of words. By now, you may be thinking… “Ok, she likes words. So what does that have to with weight loss.” Here’s the thing, I believe that by writing these posts and telling my story and through sharing my learning have helped me to reach my weight loss goal.
I think I have literally told myself a story of success and kindness that has made a profound impact on my health and wellness. Even more than that, I believe the words I keep create the reality I experience. Think about that one… Whoa!
This is great when the words are positive. What if they are negative? Then that’s the reality I get. What kind of weight loss journey do you want to have? Something to think about.
When things are clicking on plan I feel like I’m in control and am able to make a positive impact. Today was a good day on plan and that is a fantastic feeling. I stayed within my healthy eating zone, I made good choices when I was hungry and I remained present. On its surface, these are not very big things but they are very important to my continued success. I have no great desire to be “amazing” or “awesome” I just want to be myself, I just want to be prepared for my day for whatever comes my way. I just want to be “good to go”.
Wishing you all the best on your journey and I am hoping that the lifestyle changes you’ve made are sticking. I am also hoping that you are ready to take on the day from a confident and empowered stance.
Honor is such a perfect word. As a noun, honor means “high respect; great esteem” or “adherence to what is right or a conventional standard of conduct.” As a verb, honor means, “regard with great respect” or to “fulfill an obligation or agreement.” Honor is the kind of word that wraps up so many other great words in its orbit. Words, like admiration, distinction, morality, integrity, and honesty. Really, it’s just a beautiful word.
How do I honor my life? I think my weight loss journey is one way to honor the life I have been given. Weight loss honors my body’s systems and helps me to be the healthiest version of myself. It’s a miracle just to be born, and yet I find that it’s so easy to get lost and caught up with all of the “stuff” I either don’t have or am afraid of losing that I can lose sight of what’s really important. The truth is, every day I can run up the stairs, or get around a chair easily, or sit next to children to listen to them read or walk across the parking lot is a gift that can be easily overlooked.
How do I honor the process? Lately, I’ve been worrying about old habits coming back and losing control. In the book, Daring Greatly, the author Brene Brown refers to this idea of scarcity. Essentially, scarcity means there is not enough and so not everyone can have what they need. When it comes to my weight loss journey a scarcity mentality would presuppose that my success is not something I get to keep. Adopting a scarcity mentality (one that thrives on losing or loss) would mean that I am not honoring the process. A process that helped me to lose 93 pounds – that’s just crazy. I think I had a burst of clarity today…
I know what to do
I have what I need
I am enough
These words seem simple glowing back at me on the screen, but they make me feel centered and content My wish for you is that you honor yourself and all that you are doing to help yourself along the journey to better health and wellness. Believe this, it is a miracle that any of us were even born, so let’s all take a beat to appreciate that and know we are all enough just as we are. Thank you for reading.
When I accomplished my weight loss goal and made it to Lifetime I felt so powerful. I did something really difficult that eludes many smart, talented people. I did this by showing up every day doing my best – succeeding and failing. The thing that made the difference, was that I kept at it. I learned how to be patient and how to turn kindness inward without deluding myself along the way. In other words, I kept my cool, kept it real and I kept it kind and I think that’s how I lost 93 pounds.
I think this should be my attitude when it comes to Maintenance as well. Keep cool, keep it real, keep it kind – there are going to be difficult days. Thankfully, today is not one of them. Today has been a great day on plan. I’m not so hungry and I feel energetic and positive. So, yes, there is always a flip side – for better or for worse being on a weight loss journey is just like life I think. There are good days, bad days, and all kinds of days in-between. Expect that and you can go wrong.
I hope you feel as encouraged reading this as I do writing it. Keep at this – it’s worth the effort!
It’s the day before work begins again, and I have packed and tracked my breakfast and lunch. I know what I’ll be making for dinner, chicken, and potatoes with a vegetable. I might go to spin class at 6:30 PM tomorrow but I have to see how the day goes. I go to spin for fun, not for an obligation. This is my “new normal” These are the healthy habits that have helped me to lose 93 pounds.
Is my weight loss going to be permanent? On the surface it’s simple. If I maintain these habits and don’t let my old ones resurface – yes. If I let myself fall into old habits then no. I know the truth, and the truth is I cannot sustain eating the way I used to and maintain my current weight. I realize it may sound crazy but it would be so easy to fall back. It helps that I am self-aware of this truth. It helps but it doesn’t solve it. The only person who can decide my fate is me and that is pretty daunting.
I tracked everything I ate today. I am carrying over two SmartPoints and that feels good. If I get through the next two days maintaining my healthy habits I think I’ll be in good shape. I’m going through this rough patch and it has lasted longer than I’d like. It’s almost like I’m trying to absolve myself of my past discretions by writing them down here for you to read. But that’s not really it – I think I’m doing this because I hope that you can understand how difficult this is for me. I hope that you can relate to my struggle. This is definitely hard, but it’d be worse if I thought I was the only one. It helps to know that others are able to overcome their old habits. When I think about it that way, it makes me feel like I can do it too.
I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself, but I think my rough patch is ending. I think I’m on the way back to the routines that have served me so well. I don’t think I could get myself back if I had stopped writing. If you read my posts I hope there is something of use in them for you too. If you are feeling like you lost your way on the road to better health know that the trail is waiting for you to find your footing. Take my words as markers to find the way back. You can do it. I know you can because I know I can do it too.
Like most children, I had a vivid imagination when I was a kid. If I was afraid of something, scary movies, spiders, or dogs with big sharp teeth, I’d pretend there was a vault in my mind. Stationed outside, were two big burly guards who would throw the thing (whatever it was) inside and then slowly turn the lock to make sure it stayed put. Then they would stand as centries with arms folded to make extra sure I was safe. Analyze that, why don’t you? Crazy, I know – but it worked… every time.
It’s Saturday, and it hit me that my WW workshop is really like a “home base” for me. It’s my chance to rest up and catch my breath before the race is on again. During the meeting today we had a long discussion about what to do when old habits come back. Needless to say, this really resonated with me because I felt at odds with my old habits all week long. So while people were sharing I sat and listened closely writing my notes and reflecting on my feelings. This is what I think, I think it is easy to feel conflicted about past choices and what to do next when it’s been a rough week. Honestly, it doesn’t feel great. However, the thing, that does feel great (and it’s only now that I can see past my own feelings of guilt and inadequacy that I really appreciate it) is that I’m aware of how my choices make me feel. In the end, mindless eating makes me feel numb. It’s not the food it’s the choice to check out that makes me feel so bad – I feel bad because I’m relinquishing my power.
So just for fun, I can imagine those two burly guards grab that mindless eating and stuff it into the vault and keep it under lock and key. Strange but that does make me smile and it helps a little. The thing is, I know the truth – the truth is I’m the guard and it’s up to me to handle it – not with blunt force but with sensitivity and care. Life is hard sometimes and sometimes I make choices that are bad for me. But not today. Today offers a great time for a fresh start with greater awareness. I know that when I plan and act strategically I feel more in touch with my sense of personal power – I just feel better.
I can do this, I really can, and so can you. Ready! Set! Go!