Have you ever lost something spent hours looking for it? Then as an afterthought, not really expecting to find it, you open the junk drawer in the kitchen and there it is looking at you in the face. “Hi, I’ve been here all along just waiting for you.” That is where I’ve been. I’ve been looking for my motivation to keep going on this journey to better health and weight loss since the pandemic began. I think I finally found the right drawer, in the very last spot I could have looked; and now, I am ready to begin again.
Beginning again, is an extremely generous gift I am giving myself. I have to confess, I have gained weight since #COVID19 took away the supports that helped me to get where I was. No more in person #WW meetings with my Greenlawn Goal Setters. The community that held me and kept me going has been dismantled by corporate and even though there are virtual spaces to “see” each other, it is not the same. I miss being with my dear sister every Saturday, carpooling to Greenlawn be with our friends. I have always maintained that it is the sense of community that makes #WW a successful program for me. This is not the only loss, #COVID19 has also taken away the 5:15 am spin with my favorite instructor, Michelle. Now I do not get the physical release that helped me deal with stress, and give me the boost to take on the day. And just when it couldn’t be worse, worry has been my constant companion throughout this dark time our lives.
The match that lit this flame to my newly found motivation was that my hubby convinced me to buy a new Peloton. I don’t have it yet, but just knowing there is one being made for me and that it is on its way is enough to stoke my inner motivation.
I’ve missed you, readers. I’ve missed the woman I am when I write for you too. I have felt like a failure, like an imposter, over these months. So many starts and stops only to dissolve into defeat. I have to keep reminding myself that I am not a failure, I am not an imposter. I have to keep telling myself my own story, that I have done this once and I can do it again. It’s not like I’m starting completely over. I am still way ahead of where I once was. I am going to keep it simple. I’m going to track my food in my tracker, next week I’m going to weigh in at home, and I am going to get enough rest. And if you’ll have me, each day I am going to write you and let you know how it is going. I hope you are well, Let’s just believe in ourselves together that we can do this. Ok? More tomorrow.
Getting to Goal 
Let’s both let go of feeling like failures, OK? Good for you for identifying a solution and reaching out plus getting the peloton. I think you’re going to love it. I’ve gained a few during Covid also, plus had added stress due to my husband’s health. But, we have resources – lucky us!
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Thank you for reminding me to be appreciative of my resources. We are both very fortunate! I can’t wait to get the bike, I think it is going to help my state of mind and keep me on my healthy path.
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Thank you for this post as I really needed to hear it today. I’ve lost my motivation as well. I’ve lost my 8:15 Orangetheory class, my structured day with the kids, my girls night outs and my “adult time” of getting out of my car at school pickup and chatting with other moms as we wait for our kiddos. Now all I want to do is sleep and eat. Thank you for telling me I’m not alone and for giving me a push to find my own motivation. I’m excited for you and your new Peloton!
Jenn
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Hi Jenn, you said so much. We are all, in one way or another, grieving the loss of our lives as they were prior to COVID19. The holidays are here and it would be so easy to get lost in the comfort of food and traditions, but I really want to keep growing on my weight loss journey. I am so glad my words spoke to you. Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing. I needed to read your comments today, knowing there are others does help.
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So good to hear from you and glad that you’re back. I think you are not alone in your struggles these last several months and it means a great deal to share in your honest assessment of your human-ness. Your emails meant a great deal to me. Hurray.
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I have missed you! I hope you will not be so hard on yourself about this blip in your journey- the pandemic has turned our world into unrecognizable terrain… it has taken awhile to establish our footing.
I have taken almost a 2 year hiatus from self care and it has been unsettling and self destructive. But I opened my junk drawer about a week ago and there it was… my focus!!
Following the science in so many ways will get us to better days…🙌
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Jane! I have missed you too. Thank you, thank you for your throughtful reply. Thank you for creating the window for me to see your life on the journey for better health and weight loss. I feel a great sense of wellbeing knowing you are in this with me.
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So happy to hear you are writing again it is good for you and with your ability to reach out to us in word is so helpful. The journey is never easy for us but not to give up and use our talents and inspirations is the energy we need to keep us hopeful. It has been a difficult time for all us. So keep going you are a wonderful unique loving person. God bless. Love you. Marie Fazio
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Dear Marie, thank you so much for your support. Your words fill me with gratitude for being a kind and generous person in my life. xo
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