On Friday, during professional development, I used a quote from one of my favorite educator/authors, Vicki Vinton to spark some discussion:

If we’re serious about helping students become independent readers who seek to understand through their own agency, we have to be willing to release responsibility before we’re absolutely sure they can do it on their own.”

Vicki Vinton

One insightful teacher said, “This is so true. It’s kind of like teaching your kid to drive. You have to let them go even though you’re not really sure they can do it yet.” My featured image is actually from yesterday. My son was driving. Fear smothers growth, and while it’s difficult to give up control it’s really essential.

I started thinking about control in terms of my weight loss journey. There really is a give and take. I am learning how to face that it’s not possible for me to control every single thing and to be ok with that. Yesterday, I went over my SmartPoints balance and even though that wasn’t the plan it’s still ok. I had pizza for lunch and went to the movies and then I ate some popcorn and that did it. Life is going to happen along the way and that means some spontaneous decision making will follow. That is why WW gives us those extra points. If I had pulled myself back from indulging in those moments this journey will become too stringent for me. I had fun going out with my sister for lunch, I enjoyed being at the movies with my husband. In those moments food was part of the experiences. Maybe another day I would have eaten a salad at the restaurant or maybe the movie popcorn wouldn’t have appealed to me. Maybe, but I wanted pizza and popcorn yesterday. And that’s ok.

So many of us are just so hard on ourselves. I know I’ve made up rules like, I am going to rollover four SmartPoints for the next week each day. Then if for some reason or another that doesn’t happen and I feel so defeated. Even though, I generally use kind words to myself and forgive my own failures and appreciate my own stores of resilience – negativity can still seep in.

When I think about control I really also have to think about choice. My choices do reveal my sense of control. I decided what I would or would not do yesterday. I did that, it wasn’t the food taking over. For me (and please this is just from my own lived experiences) having a history of being significantly overweight comes with some feeling of guilt and shame. It’s my sad sad truth and I have to deal with that. Yesterday, I used 10 extra SmartPoints by the close of the day, and none of those points were used on sugar by the way – so “Day 4” did go as planned. Letting go of my fear that I’m failing at this, is a huge victory. Even after all this time I’m still learning this lesson.