I think I get into trouble when I make up a story for how my weight loss journey is supposed to go. Yes, I do get to write my own story, but that doesn’t mean I get to do a blow-by-blow for how it will go. My journey is not a linear path. There are many peaks and valleys even within one day.
I am so happy I was able to get some activity today. Activity helps my mood, it curbs my hunger, and it just makes me feel good. I ate a healthy breakfast at home, and I felt physically satisfied for over four hours. I ate a healthy lunch and again, I was satisfied. Then I came home from work and my stellar day took a downturn. I forgot to take something out to prepare for dinner when I left for work. I was tired from my commute and the weight of the day and things fell apart. I was very hungry and kept picking. At first, I had 28 grams of Boom Chicka Pop popcorn (4 sp.) and 15 grams of nuts (3 sp.). Then I ate salad with avocado (that I did not weigh) and a light English muffin. In the end I ate 2 slices of pizza and that is a hard meal to absorb in my SmartPoints balance.
I don’t know if today will set me back to the point where I end up going up on the scale on Saturday. I really want to keep my downward momentum going. The thing is, I’m making it more difficult than it needs to be, I can’t let myself get too tired or too hungry. I get to control that. I want to rally my energy to make it happen. So if I’m writing my own story, I might as well make this a good one. One where the I overcome my obstacles and win the day. I am going to tell myself over and over, I can do this. I know I can get back to Lifetime status and I am worth this effort. So are you, believe it.
Every week I learn so much as I listen to other WW members reflect on their journeys. I’m thinking about a reflection a member shared that really inspired me, she realized she was not truly following WW’s plan because she was being too rigid. She was not making allowances for special occasions, she had banned certain food choices, she was living her life as if she were on a diet. I was so inspire d by her realization and insight.
WW is a program that helps members reshape their relationship with food. In order to do that, we have to learn and grow. Now I’m wondering what my next big learning will be. I am tracking, I am cooking healthy food, I am packing my lunch, I am eating breakfast at home, I am meeting (and exceeding) my fitness goals. There are areas where I could improve. I could be more mindful, and I have to get snacking under control, and my tracking could be tighter, and bedtime continues to be a goal is to work on because I really think I need more sleep. I think it’s very important to pick one goal at a time. This week, I’m learning how to reflect rather than react. My goal is to think through my choices before I make them. I will stop, think, breathe, act. Just taking that minute to think things through would be a mighty accomplishment. Sometimes in the moment it’s difficult to exercise that kind of control. I think I’m going to make a sign and leave it out to remind me of what I want to do in the heat of a moment it may make a difference.
I’m glad I walked myself through my goal for this week. It’s only Monday, and I think it’s going to be a strong week for me. Of course I’d like a big number moving in the right direction on the scale, However, what I’m really after is a big insight for my own process for weight loss and better health. More tomorrow.
Anything I ate was recorded in my tracker and that feels like a nice accomplishment. Some days, just tracking is enough to keep me going. There were two different times where I ate something where I could’ve made better choices. So I tried the rewind strategy and it did help. I think the power for this strategy is that it keeps me self-aware. Problems arise when I go on autopilot and I ignore the impacts of my choices.
The topic of my WW meeting was to reflect on poor choices and hit the “rewind” button. Think back and pinpoint what would you do differently. Then “replay” the tape with the improved outcome. This is a strategy that gives us opportunities for to rehearse effective decision making. When practicing this strategy it’s important to do it from a kind stance. This is meant to be a strategy that encourages reflection and problem solving not self-loathing.
I shared this strategy because it’s a good idea, one I hadn’t thought of before, and maybe it can help someone. I plan on trying it when I find myself wishing I had made different choices. I will rewind my mind and find a better way whenever I need to, and I will be kind to myself. I will be careful to remember that it’s not one choice that makes or breaks this. It’s many choices over time.
I have to keep reminding myself that weight loss is a process. So it goes with a process, it’s not like any one part of it stands on its own. There are many important moments and turning points, there are many moments of struggle and failure. Yet none of these moments by themselves, define the journey.
Last night I had an argument with someone, and when I went into the food store, I immediately wanted a piece of candy. I literally stopped in the aisle and thought “That’s crazy, I don’t want candy. I don’t want to be aggravated.” That’s an important moment, but it doesn’t define the journey it adds to my understanding. This is what I’m thinking about.
By the time I got home from the city today, I was tired and hungry. This is not a winning combination. I made some poor choices, and am now regretting them. Regret is a reason to reflect. If I had tracked my choices while I was making them, I probably would have made better ones. My dad liked to say, “Kick yourself once, then let it go.” So, I’m starting over. I am drinking a big glass of water, washing my face, brushing my teeth, and going to bed.
Tomorrow, I’ll go to spin and start again. Even when I feel like I’m failing on my weight loss journey, I know that’s not true. Just being on the journey, investing in the thought, the planning, the ambition to change my life and make healthier choices is a marker of great success. This is not easy, and it’s a mistake to minimize that. However, I know I can accomplish difficult things. My choices today do not define me. They are a product of physical and emotional exhaustion.
Has a craving ever gotten you under its spell?. A while back I found out that my husband opened the huge bag of assorted candy I bought for Halloween. Everything was fine when that bag was factory sealed – I didn’t want even one piece. Now that I know it’s opened I find myself wanting candy everyday. Being the problem solver that I am, I asked him to hide it someplace so I wouldn’t find it. Well, he did, and I’m still thinking about it.
My WHY, My Charm…
It’s not magic, but it helps to remember my “why” I’m doing this. Here goes:
I want to take care of myself, and eating Halloween candy is not the best way to do that.
I want to continue to feel physically good, and if I eat too much candy I will feel sick.
I can eat candy, but it will take me outside my healthy eating zone and that will mean it will take longer to get back to Lifetime.
As a WW member, I know that nothing is off limits when it comes to food. I could eat candy if I planned it and ate it in moderation. However, sometimes (for me) the best answer is, “No. No candy, right now.” I actually feel better writing that down.
Right now, I am feeling very positive about my weight loss journey. I think my feelings about maintaining this healthy lifestyle are a strong part of my new “why”. The journey is becoming part of my self-image, taking time to care for myself is important enough for me to keep going.
Right now, I am feeling strong on my weight loss journey. I have this feeling inside that makes me want to shout, “Energy!” I am grateful that I can move around, and that I’m healing from my accident in May. If I weighed what I used to, there is no doubt in my mind that my recovery would have been much slower.
Right now, I am feeling hopeful that I will get back to Lifetime status and achieve my goal. If I weren’t hopeful, I don’t think I could keep it going. My hope for future success feels all wrapped up in dinnertime. Figuring out the big family meal is still so much effort. It’s my hope that I can find a way to manage getting dinner on the table, feed everyone, and still be able to track the meal accurately that keeps me at this. Dinnertime is difficult, but I am still hopeful I can find a solution. If I want to eat good food, then I need to invest time and effort towards the cause.
Right now, I believe in me. My confidence is high and that feels really good. I think it’s so easy to get down on myself. The times I overindulge, the times when I struggle with certain foods, the times when I decide not to be active. All of those times feel bad and it’s no good to wallow. Instead, I’m just happy to acknowledge the good – I got this.
I wonder, where are you on your journey? Are you on the high end, the low end, someplace in-between? If you had to describe your resolve for this work, what would it be right now?