Today is my birthday. This time last year, I was closing the gap to goal. It took me until November 2018 to get there. Now, I find myself working to get back to Lifetime status. This weight loss journey is not something to be taken for granted. It’s a mixed bag really, I’m both not ok, and I am ok.

Not ok: I’m disappointed in myself. Some clothes are either too tight or don’t fit, and this freaks me out. It’s as though they are saying, “I told you so.” It’s easy to let a Negative Nellie voice take over in the face of my past success. I let old habits creep back in, and so I let myself slip backwards.

I am ok: I’m resilient. I have short-term goals that are working for me. I am making sure to be active each day. I am measuring and weighing my portions. I am making good choices when I go out. I am tracking everything I eat. This forces me to acknowledge when I go over my daily SmartPoint allotments. I am saying “No” to mindless noshing. I am going to meetings, even when I can’t go on my regular day. I’m talking about my goals with my family and friends. The thing that makes all these goals possible is that I believe I can do this. Believing in me the best present I can give myself today.

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I think it is so essential that I am honest with myself and how I’m feeling. It’s not possible to be present during this process without honesty. Feelings are complex, and it’s better to explore them so they don’t grow and become more than they ought to be. It would be easy to suppress those negative feelings but they’d eventually rise up and sabotage me. It would be easy to let those negative feelings take over and to allow myself to give up. None of those are good options. Keep some perspective, and keep going. I think that’s what this year is going to be all about.