Somedays are harder than others and today is one of those days. There was this delicious Carvel chocolate dipped ice-cream cone in my freezer. This blog is a place for the truth so I decided to that I should go ahead and have it. This is not a diet, there are no foods off limits. I can eat it if I want to. As I was taking out the cone from the paper bag, I was thinking, “I’m having it I want it.” Then I heard myself say, “Eat it but track it.” I laid it out on the table and looked at it, as I was keying in the letters…

c-a-v-e-l-i-c-e-c-r-e-a-m-c-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e-d-p-p-e-d-c-o-n-e

I wasn’t able to find it so I began to scroll down checking out some of the other comparable choices 12, 14, 20 SmartPoints… I sighed, and thought about it because my goal this week is to be more present and intentional about my choices. I thought about how I practiced mediation this morning before getting out of bed. I thought about how I’m not really hungry. I thought about how far I’ve come, and how hard it was to get here. I put the cone back into the brown paper bag and slid the freezer door shut.

Why did I want the cone? Could be that I have some work to do that I don’t want to do right now. It could be that since I am feeling good physically I can fool myself into thinking that I can just eat whatever I want in whatever amounts. I might be thinking it’ll be fine, I can eat that because look at me I look good. It could be so many reasons. I think the more important thing for me to consider right now is how hard it was to say, “No.” to it. That was really hard in the moment. The moment is passed and now it feels easier, but in that moment, I had to really work hard to maintain my composure to think through it.