Like most children, I had a vivid imagination when I was a kid. If I was afraid of something, scary movies, spiders, or dogs with big sharp teeth, I’d pretend there was a vault in my mind. Stationed outside, were two big burly guards who would throw the thing (whatever it was) inside and then slowly turn the lock to make sure it stayed put. Then they would stand as centries with arms folded to make extra sure I was safe. Analyze that, why don’t you? Crazy, I know – but it worked… every time.
It’s Saturday, and it hit me that my WW workshop is really like a “home base” for me. It’s my chance to rest up and catch my breath before the race is on again. During the meeting today we had a long discussion about what to do when old habits come back. Needless to say, this really resonated with me because I felt at odds with my old habits all week long. So while people were sharing I sat and listened closely writing my notes and reflecting on my feelings. This is what I think, I think it is easy to feel conflicted about past choices and what to do next when it’s been a rough week. Honestly, it doesn’t feel great. However, the thing, that does feel great (and it’s only now that I can see past my own feelings of guilt and inadequacy that I really appreciate it) is that I’m aware of how my choices make me feel. In the end, mindless eating makes me feel numb. It’s not the food it’s the choice to check out that makes me feel so bad – I feel bad because I’m relinquishing my power.
So just for fun, I can imagine those two burly guards grab that mindless eating and stuff it into the vault and keep it under lock and key. Strange but that does make me smile and it helps a little. The thing is, I know the truth – the truth is I’m the guard and it’s up to me to handle it – not with blunt force but with sensitivity and care. Life is hard sometimes and sometimes I make choices that are bad for me. But not today. Today offers a great time for a fresh start with greater awareness. I know that when I plan and act strategically I feel more in touch with my sense of personal power – I just feel better.
I can do this, I really can, and so can you. Ready! Set! Go!