Day Three Hundred-Three…

We packed a lunch and went to the beach yesterday. We went swimming, listened to music, and had some good clean summer fun. It was a relief not to feel completely self-conscious about being in a bathing suit. This happened because of my dedication to following Weight Watchers’ plan and getting regular activity.

If you convert 303 days into months it would be 10 months of tracking, weighing, and measuring and writing, for that matter, every day without exception. That’s how I’ve lost, 82.2 pounds. Now I’m feeling so good in my own skin. I’m able to move easily through the world and feel confident. I don’t even care so much what other people think of me, I’m happy with myself. That is so precious to me and worth every moment of effort this is taking. Since there is so much reward in doing this, it was starting to feel like less effort. Until…

Ralph's Ices

Later that night when my son wanted dessert. I was feeling tired, probably because I got so much sun, but it’s summertime and I remember the fun of going out and getting something cold and sweet on a hot night. So off we went. Once I got there  I had a choice to make. Did I want to get:

A. Nothing      B. One Scoop      C. Two Scoops

At that moment I had forgotten all of the confidence, and self-fulfillment I felt at the beach earlier! Now I really wanted to relive my childhood and get two big scoops! Know what I mean?  Fortunately, I did my best to think through it.  Well, option a, “nothing” was quickly taken off the table.  My rational mind went on to say, Option b was really is the sensible choice. I can eat this and still be on plan.  However, option c, option c was the choice that at that moment, A big part of me wanted to relive my childhood, as I stood there under the neon lights with happy smiling ices dancing around on the windows. The summer heat was oppressive and then I imagined two big scoops of cold cream ice, I would have one coconut and chocolate, thank you very much. Yum.

Then another voice joined the chorus as I stood on line. “You don’t even know how many points are in one scoop.”  Just like that, I remembered the beach. I remembered going to spin, I remembered the last ten months of effort. So, in the end, I did have a scoop and it was pretty small. It was raspberry coconut swirl. It was delightful and manageable. I tracked it at 7sp I think that’s right; although, it might have been 10sp. I don’t really think that matters so much because it’s not like I’m eating this all the time. I tracked it I used 29sp for the whole day which means I went into my Weeklies but that’s why I have them. I have them in case I want to use them.

I way I see things, I can look at this one of two ways.

it’s totally unfair that I have to struggle every day about something so simple like buying a freaking italian ice. Everyone else seems to be able to eat what they want and it’s all good for them. Meanwhile, I have to keep at this like a relentless rat race.

Or…

Everyone has something they’re working on. It’s really hard to lose weight and keep it off. It is amazing that I have been able lose 82.2 pounds. It’s also amazing that I really can eat whatever I want and still  lose weight. Although, I have to be mindful.

Both are true. There are days when this feels like a rat race, while other days it feels effortless. I want to lose weight, so I have to be ready for both without any presuppositions as to how much weight I ought to be losing, or how I ought to be feeling, or what I ought to be eating.  Living life is all there is, and I can honestly say, that I’m doing my best because I’m worth my best effort.

So are you. You are worth your best effort too. Have a great day on the journey.

 

me at the beach
Look ma I have collar bones!

 

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