Day Two Hundred-Fourteen…

The struggle is real. Lately, members have been sharing their struggles to get back on plan. I understand.  Sometimes it feels like I can’t catch the rhythm, my timing is off and I feel awkward and out of step with everyone else. Somedays are more challenging than others and yesterday was one of those days for me. Here is my day in numbers:

  • Breakfast 6sp (this was the best meal of the day for me) Kodiak pancakes are very delicious with blueberries and raspberries mixed in, sliced banana, 2tsp of syrup
  • Lunch 7sp 1 cup of split pea soup (I measured it and it was so good) homemade shrimp salad on a Joeseph’s pita, one serving of Angies Boom Chicka Pop Popcorn, Halo
  • Dinner 9sp Ham, mashed potatoes, roasted vegetables, fresh pineapple
  • Snack: One bag Cape Cod Reduced Fat chips

It feels good to reflect on yesterday. When I look at it, for what it is in numbers, I can see it was a decent day on plan. While this is comforting to me, why when I think back, do I feel like yesterday wasn’t so great?  Other than breakfast (and the delicious split pea soup) my meals were not very satisfying. I felt hallow and depleted for a lot of the day. There was a familiar unpleasant feeling, I felt the tug of old habits trying to find their way back in.

Words of Wisdom

Instead of looking outward for comfort foods (let’s face it that’s why I’m a Weight Watcher) I was objective and looked inward, there was no negative self-talk.

In the past it might have gone like this:

  • Here we go again, now I’m just going to boomerang back and gain it all back.  it was a good run. 

This time was different it went like this:

  • It’s not about the food. You’re on break and there isn’t anything special happening. It’s raining, and you feel gloomy. You’re not hungry, you’re a little sad because you wish things were different. Remember honey, you are amazing you have lost 70 pounds! Feelings are temporary you are resilient and you can do this. 

The scariest part of this is that both thought processes have the potential to create my reality The first, gives away all my power. I would be writing a narrative that I have no free will and that I cannot take actions to help myself.  The second is a different narrative, it goes deeper. It makes me examine what is really going on with me. It names it all – the struggle, the truth, and reaffirms my intention through kindness.

Does any of this strike a chord with you? Do you understand? Does it help with your struggles? For me, I’m learning how to live my life without turning to food for comfort. It could have been anything though – anyone who struggles with a desire to make a change can empathize. I think this is the truth, anytime we look outside of ourselves to make “it” (whatever it may be)  better we turn away from who really are and who we are meant to be in this life.

I am so grateful to have all this weight to lose because going on this journey is changing me. Or, maybe, it’s just bringing me back to what I once was – I don’t know. At any rate, it can’t be fun all the time, but I wish it were. Maybe Cyndi Lauper said it best: