At 5:30 PM I was feeling overtaxed. I had been home from work for about an hour and it has been non-stop. As soon as I got in the door I made my lunch and pre-tracked tomorrow’s points. As I was doing this, I kept thinking about my word choice from a couple of posts ago – brute effort. This constant effort has to be the reason why many people, including me, haven’t made it to goal yet.
As I read this back, I can see this is not productive nor is it kind thinking. So it is time to change the narrative: “Jennifer you’re doing great and losing weight requires a lot of work and dedication.”
To which my snarky inner voice says, “Well, duh…”
Again, this is not helpful, and now the word endurance keeps coming to mind. Losing weight feels like a marathon of mindfulness. When I came home, I was hungry (internal hunger because lunch was over four hours ago) so I ate 1/4 cup (with the shells) of pistachios (2sp) and then I heated up a serving of homemade vegetable soup (0sp).
A little while later…
Having eaten a little something, I’m feeling better. As I read back my post, I notice that my thoughts/feelings were negative and stressed. Stopping to write and reflect on what was actually happening helped. I feel different. It makes me appreciate the difference from reacting and reflecting.
If I think about everything from a different perspective, I can say, “Jennifer you are completely ready for tomorrow. Great job making lunch and breakfast. It’s good to know that is done and is ready to go in the refrigerator. Also, you laid out your clothes, so that’s another thing off your list. Nice going!” I have to say thinking this way makes me feel calmer and better about my situation.
I’d like to leave you with these words I found on Facebook:
This is true for me, and it’s true for you too. Sometimes a bowl of hot homemade soup, and permission to think about how your feeling is the best way to show yourself some love.
You’ve heard of The Hunger Games, well today was one of my: Hungry Days! What a challenging day it was for me. Ever have one of those? I’m a teacher, and we had professional development, and these days are famous for snacking. Here are some of the pictures of snacks people all around me were eating:
I’m working on how to gauge my hunger, is it external or internal? It’s pretty simple it goes like this: something from the world around you e.g. stress or food aromas are triggering a hunger sensation (external). Or, your stomach is empty and you’re actually hungry for lack of food (internal). Here take a look at my notebook:
So here the blow-by-blow for my day:
- 09:10: I ate my yogurt and some grapes. I had not eaten since yesterday (internal)
- 10:15: I checked my phone to see if it was getting close to lunch as cakes and cinnamon buns were being passed around.. Seriously, it was then that I knew this was going to be a hard day (external)
- 10:30: I started eating vegetables, and nuts, and drinking water from my lunch bag. I have eaten 3sp so far and I’m still hungry (internal)
- 11:15: Candy was being passed around and instead of eating it I took food pictures. My friend told me that, “if you take a dark chocolate at least it’s healthy for you.” So, of course, I took one, as you can see it in the background (external)
- 12:00: Lunchtime and I did my best to eat slowly. In total, I had eaten 14sp by the end of lunch and I was satisfied (internal)
I had some running around to do after work, and by the time I got home I was hungry it was after 7:00 PM (internal). I was strategic about dinner, I made turkey chili. This is a quick and easy meal to make. It’s a perfect solution after a long day at work:
At the end of the day, I still have my little piece of Lindt Dark Chocolate. If I elected to have it it would be 4sp. Who would think that a little piece of chocolate could be a source of empowerment? Strangely for me, it is – it doesn’t really matter if I eat it or not. What matters is my resolve is stronger than chocolate…