Day: September 7, 2017

It’s a sad day for my family today, my mother-in-law, Dottie, passed away this afternoon. It would be easy to feel overwhelmed by what is coming next. At times like these, I am grateful for some normalcy, I brought my son to his orthodontist’s appointment and while I waited with the other parents I had some time to think.  I gazed out the big windows looking out onto Main Street, and it occurred to me that we are like so many families living in this small town. It’s strange to think about how indifferent daily life is in the face of death.  I looked out the window at the old post office. How many families have come and gone? It is a brick and mortar building unyielding to the passage of time, and now another family’s name is being erased from its route:

Dottie was a woman from another era. She was a homemaker, she loved to sew, to care for children, and to work the soil in her garden to grow beautiful flowers.  It is probably no accident that the flowers for September are Forget- Me-Nots. We will never forget you, and we will all miss you, Dottie. I am grateful to you for my husband. I am grateful for the memories that my children have had with you. I hope you have found some peace and happiness on the other side.

All this change, and yet here it is another gorgeous day on Long Island. Birds are singing, barbeque smells are wafting through my open windows. I hear my husband moving about in the yard, doing his part to care for our home.  It is 5:50 PM and I have told myself, “I am enough.” three times so far. I’m not sure what to make for dinner, but I’m starting to feel hungry so, I should, no strike that, I need to literally, get cooking. Life follows its rhythm despite us.  It’s so weird that everything feels the same, and really nothing will be the same from now on. Life is change.

Getting to Goal Housekeeping…

So far, I have used 12sp which means I have 18 left for the day. I might go to the gym when I drop David off at Nokado.   Actually, I will make that promise to myself right now, I will go to the gym tonight. Living a healthy life means taking time for self-care. I know that is something that Dottie would approve of as she was a believer in taking time to care for yourself.

If you are reading this post, my wish for you is that you take some time for yourselves as well.  More on that tomorrow…

 

 

 

It is late, 11:48 PM to be exact. So, I am getting this post in just under the wire. It’s been a strange day. So many different things have happened that it feels like I crammed three days into one.  Surreal is my watchword – my mother-in-law was admitted to hospice today. I am emotionally exhausted, we all are. It was the first day of school for my children, my son is a great student but doesn’t love school. My daughter began college but we have to find creative ways to get her there until she passes her road test. Even though my work is rewarding,  there is already so much to do that I feel the pressure mounting as each box in my calendar fills up.  I forgot my gym bag home, so I did not meet yesterday’s goal.

Did I mention that my dog had not one but two accidents in the house? I guess you can see where this post is going…

There were many opportunities to say, “The hell with this.” At my meeting, there was Dove Milk Chocolates  I love those. I could have easily scarfed that down.  But I didn’t! Instead, I rolled with it and decided to care more about my goal than to give in to an impulse that works against what I really want. There were so many little choices I made today to be proud of:

1. I didn’t eat chocolate (I know said that already but it deserves another shout out)
2. I made a smart choice when I had to have a quick dinner (14 sp)
3. I washed my face with my special soap and put on my night cream
4. I did all the prep work for tomorrow so I would get off to a good start
5. I was kind to myself, in my thoughts, and influenced my actions

So as I say goodnight, I am not sure what my goal for tomorrow will be. Perhaps my best goal is simply to not get overwhelmed.  I just need to remind myself that I am enough. I got this.

If you are reading this, thank you. I encourage you to share because it really does help.